FemDom, Fetish Queen, Author, Phonesex Operator and so much more.
Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Strict German Disciplinarian

Standing at the graveyard of an Era

Musings about the changes in online fetishes.

Graveyard photo Life goes on and things change. That is the nature of Time and nothing is exempt from it, not even the wonderful world of Fetish.

In some ways it is fabulous to see how alternative ways of sexual arousal have gained such wide acceptance online and what turned into some rather interesting discussions, but on the other side of that it has removed a lot of the deeper and often intimate interactions between those who indulge in Fetishes together.

It has become over-saturated and made “normal”. These days we see people talking about Fetishes who fail to actually understand the deeper core levels of what it is they do.  Safety, or awareness of potential harm, has been pushed to the side as if it is unimportant and there is an all around air of entitlement that your kinky desires are met without actually you doing anything in return for it has become prevalent. More the pity, because Fetishes have always been a two-way Street in which both partners shared the Fetish from opposite ends in a symbiotic way. We fed off each other as we explored it and discovered all the deliciously naughty little Triggers that turned something so typically non-sexual into something hyper arousing.

Some of the Fetishes we had out there for several years now have mutated into something that no longer carries one or both sides of the actual fetish itself, but only continues to carry it’s name for the sake of it being identifiable. In many cases the participants of the fetishes itself aren’t even into it or even grasp what the fetish is really about, but simply think that after watching other people for a few days, weeks or at max month are now experts at it and can teach other newer people how to become “successful” in the fetish. Success, notoriety, fame being the key here rather then actually finding a measure of elation in the actions them-selves.

For many fetishes a measure of mystery and the slow unwrapping of the fetish itself and with that the slow decent into it becoming a delicious addiction was part of the foundation of it. The discovery of the various layers of the fetishes of choice which takes it from the most basic to an almost divine level under the guidance of someone who really gets what it is about and all the various fetishes (something you learn over many years of doing) while still being able to keep it intimate and personalized was one of the big deals as well. Let’s not forget the embarrassment and / or humiliation for the submissive or bottom partner when having to admit to himself and his top / Dom/me that this is making him weak etc. giving it that delicious edge. The sharing of a “special little secret” between the play partners that brought them closer together and was only made public to a select group of trusted friends and fellow Kinksters gave it a feeling of being a VIP in an exclusive club of like-minded people, which often intensified the fantasy around it.

Well the internet went ahead and didn’t just rip off the plaster, but spread it so wide open that even an OB-GYN is shielding his or her eyes and goes….. OK that is more then I needed to see, but thanks anyways.

We didn’t just make it public, turned it popular, removed it’s mysteries and humiliating deliciousness, but we literally send an anal probe up it’s collective ass, pinned back it’s labia and did an open heart surgery on it, on full display and in the public view of anyone with access to the internet.

Part of what gave it it’s delicious naughtiness was that it was different then mainstream and vanilla, now you can’t even tell it apart any longer. Fetishes have become the new vanilla and I almost dare say that vanilla is now the more forbidden and less talked about and practices in a strange reversal of rolls.

Not to mention that verbal censorship of the extreme kind and the lack of understanding the difference between someone sharing a deep seated view and someone participating in a fetish talk and roleplay scene has started to literally ruin many of the fetishes and their verbal play. Oh and let’s be honest, these days everything is offensive to someone out there and they have to go and demand that their little sensitivities will not be disturbed and then actually go as far as demand an apology from those who dared interact with someone else and didn’t even talk to the offended party. Boy did we go so far out of the ballpark now that honestly Fetishes just for that have had to be so sanitized that truthfully it has become a farce now.

With everything being so widely available now it isn’t even necessary for the bottom partners to make any type of effort which was part and parcel of the whole. They may not be submissive, but during the actually scene feeling submissive, acting submissive and behaving in a submissive manner was still part of the whole. These days what we get instead are a bunch of entitled little snots who hardly even understand the concept of obedience, respect and the necessity of putting in an effort in order to make it possible to even indulge in the fetish itself under the guidance of a Top or Dom/me.

The Crazies are literally running the Asylum now and Goddess forbid anyone dare say something to the contrary because that would just be offensive and potentially mentally abusive and destructive to some poor darlings emotional development. Buy a clue folks, you have to be a mentally developed into at least a level of maturity person that doesn’t crumble the moment someone uses verbiage or actions that will make you feel humiliated and debased if you want to be part of the Fetish scene.

Add to that, that you are literally playing into the hands of the powers that be who think that every adult should have to go by their approved moral code and try to restrict our rights to enjoy our sexuality without inflicting harm on anyone when you constantly try to silence Fetishists and “offensive language” (which hello anything is offensive to someone these days) and try to remove them. You are feeding into the morality squadron and when you wonder why the Adult Content Permissions and advertisement venues for those in the Adult Industry becomes more and more restrictive go and take a look in the mirror. You are the ones who are handing over the reigns to the powers that be, by your actions. You are making a big deal out of it and you are the ones who bury our Fetishes in the Internet Graveyard to the point that it stops being fun for many of us.

As you may have noticed I am not pointing out any one particular fetish or the other, but literally am keeping it under the Fetish Umbrella, because it effects all fetishes by now. Not just one or two of the more extreme fetishes, but it has slowly and surely spread into the even the most basic and even from the beginning almost mainstream fetishes.

What I find amusing is that as our Fetish permission as Professionals are being restricted by supposed Adult Venues, the mainstream Media and Movie Industry has picked them up years ago and turned them into regular Movies and in some cases as reasons to preach their social opinions at us. The Irony is not lost on many of us and it makes it hilarious to watch in the end as we slowly begin to dress in our Funeral best and write the Eulogies for our favorite Fetishes to commemorate the good times we once had with them.

Am I just being dramatic or am I simply saying out loud what many of those who still remember Fetishes back for several decades because we have watched as it turned into something we hardly recognize any longer think? I will let each of you decide that one for yourself as I always do.

The proud and kinky non-conformists have now become the Tyrannical Morality Squad that we once fought for our right to enjoy our own brand of arousal and the right to play in a consensual and safe manner  with those who complimented our own needs and desires. That Era is now over. Over the top nudity is encouraged, but intellectual and verbal play for Adults is increasingly forbidden. Good job folks. I’ll see you at the Funeral in a few more years unless you wake up and see what you are doing to the things you supposedly enjoy so much.

Goddess Bella Donna

The spiritual side of BDSM

Healing, evolving, connecting on a deep level and more!

Oh yes Goddess is on a roll today and apparently the Teacher in Me is strong in Me today. Now before you begin to read this “out loud meditation” on a deep subject matter, I want you to remember that all I am offering up to you here is food for thought and a bit of My Wisdom that was born out of MY personal experiences in BDSM over a couple of decades.

You are as always free to disagree with Me and of course reject it out of hand. You are on your own Path within BDSM and may not be able or willing to share one similar to mine.

For the remainder of this writing I will dispense with the online tradition of Capitalization for Dominant Individual and lower case for the submissive side and will revert back to standard writing.  I am pretty sure that the intelligent individual can figure out when something comes from the TOP of covering position and the bottom or to be covered one. NO that is not sexual – we are talking about a form of intercourse but not the fucking type.

One of the many reasons why people unfamiliar with BDSM practices see it as something vilified, immoral, dangerous and abusive is because they are only presented with a lot of the kinky play aspects of it in pornographic literature, films and “trigger for arousal” geared towards often time male thinking online content.

For the unschooled novice or unfamiliar to BDSM bystander a lot of what we do can appear to be very damaging and abusive on both a physical and mental level indeed. Let’s phase it for someone with any type of psychology training a lot of the things we say and do is borderline mental illness behavior on both sides. There are definitely parallels in it if things are done outside of consent and safety which would push them into that realm. Ah but there is where we are entering the arena of the title above.

Human sexuality and desires to experience ourselves within the confines of a safe and consensual environment with another Adult whom we feel a measure of trust towards can be extremely important for our emotional and mental health as well as our personal evolution in becoming our most authentic self.

As the ying and yang towards and for one another in a good match and with much care for the welfare of each other we create a safety zone in which each side is released from the “morality” and “society restraints” of a society that plays by very different rules then we do.

We are not “broken” as so many people assume, but very often we have been scared emotionally in some way by what we have been told by outside influences and overly dogmatic upbringing makes us “bad”, “unworthy”, “sick” and “unlovable”.  It closed many people off to reaching out to someone else and allowing them to see us for who we truly are on the inside or perhaps could be in caring circumstances.

A strict but ultimately caring which is build on consent, trust and safety, as well as structure and ritual D/s relationship and/ or “intercourse”  removes this necessity to hide what we want, need and are starved for – the D/s intimacy that comes with a good match – and allows us to blossom into the person we are on our most authentic core level.

We begin to remember and learn within this structured and safe environment that there is nothing wrong with us for having a desire to be something other then what society tells us is ok. We are able to explore and discover what we truly want, what makes us happy and yes even find our limitations and own moral compass.

If you remove the kinky actions of the BDSM play and focus purely on the interaction, rituals, respect, intimacy and trust that is the core of every good D/s relationship you’ll discover that a rebirth of self and a deep healing takes place. It becomes without dogma a spiritual experience of learning to love, trust, embrace fully and be the catalyst to evolving for ourselves as well as our D/s opposite and / or partner.

It is an irony for many when they see someone in a strict but caring D/s relationship speak of always putting each others welfare first and providing an absolute form of freedom via enslavement. We are always so focused on fighting for our rights that to hear someone giving their control and “rights” over to another person and to willingly become dependent on them for their good will, guidance and benevolence it is hard to understand.

Living a life in a selfless manner that pleases the one to whom you surrender to is actually a selfish action in and of itself in a twisted sense of human desire. For that type of person it is acting in accordance with their deep seated need to be controlled, guided, be useful to and have a deep purpose when behaving in such a selfless way. Their need is fulfilled by the one who allows them to hand that control over, give up those decisions, and is willing to pick up the reigns over their life and often deeply hidden desires and needs. In the same way someone who feels a deep seated desire to take control, to guide with a strict but caring hand, to discipline and condition, to be the catalyst and inspiration for that other person to become a better and more authentic version of themselves, is acting in accordance to their true nature and is at the same time providing a selfless service to that person by becoming their purpose to be their very best for them.

It looks black and white, but it is actually ying and yang, symbiotic and deeply spiritual in nature.

We talk about destroying, abuse, forcing them in often very callous ways (apparently to the outside) but those are all fractions of the sentences that should be said in full to give the true measure of what is going on within that intimate and private relationship in which side is fully embraced of themselves and each other.

Let me give you a few sentences in full as I see those words above from the side of the one taking control and giving strict but caring purpose, structure and dominance over the one kneeling in full surrender to Me and My will.

Again remember this is purely how I see it and how it feels to Me.

I will destroy within you the false sense of being bad, worthless, unlovable, undesirable and the pain of your upbringing as well as your bad habits that are cause of self-sabotage and which keep you from finding and blossoming into your best and most authentic self in order to build you up into someone of whom I can be proud of, take great joy and pleasure in, and who can find deep seated satisfaction and healthy pride in living up to his or her purpose as was placed within your own nature and which is part of your true authentic self.

See how different that sounds?

In return you will surrender yourself to Me, trust Me to know what’s best for you, give me honesty and obedience. You will make My happiness, My needs and desires your priority. You will bend but not break your spirit beneath Me and give Me what I need to take control over you as My sweet creature which I am pleased with and feel worshiped by. You will place Me upon that Throne and lay before Me all of the gifts (including yourself) that are yours to give. That includes your fears, your worries, your dreams, your desires, your needs, your obedience, your trust, your worldly possessions (to a point) in order to assure your Goddess is comfortable and well provided for, for SHE now takes you into her hand and gives you what you need most of all. Acceptance and guidance of your most deeply hidden self and will help you heal, evolve and become that GEM that right now is oh so rough.

I will abuse you of the notion that without sacrificing your Ego and without your willingness to give yourself to Me in perfect trust and perfect love as is due to me as your Goddess on high, that you are able to find your way into that deepest darkest core of yourself and become that which you need to be in order to be complete and satisfied.

I will force you into opening your eyes and sink deep into the darkly hidden places of your being to face that which you are and learn to not only accept it but embrace it. I will force you to go into those dark shadows that scare you so much by allowing you the bright light of my control and guidance so you can find your way always and can finally come home where you belong. With Me!

The only thing I truly ever force anyone into doing is to seek within themselves who they truly are and admit to themselves that which it is they need. I cannot and will not force a person to take an action that is truly abhorrent to their nature or the bully them into submitting to me. That is something you must lay willingly and eagerly at my feet and oh yes it will scare you and make you feel vulnerable, but that is what you need to be.

Can you see where it goes a lot deeper and is very spiritual in nature? It is truly a path into your very own self and a reemergence of your authentic self without feelings of guilt and shame. You are made whole by this and can find contentment and acceptance within this once you have done the journey into yourself. The Voices that tell you that being different then what people tell you you should be may never truly be silenced, but they will no longer be able to hurt you or harm you. They will simply no longer hold power over you and you can finally find that home with the one that knows and understands you and doesn’t judge you ill for it.

For those of us who are the ones who will take the power into our hands and who will become the foundation and safety upon which our subs and slaves can kneel upon, we have to do our own journey into ourselves and discover if we are truly willing, able and happy to carry the responsibilities and weight of our standing.

You always just see, hear or read about the great and amazing privileges that come with being THE ONE. We sweep the flip side of that under the table because it destroys an illusion for so many. That is one of the reasons why we have so many people out there who throw words like owned around without even knowing what that means.

We see the strong arm act and the constant tough talking bitch act as a representation of what a Mistress (or yes Master is), but the reality of it looks very differently.

Again please remember that I am only offering you my insight on this.

One of the biggest complaints is that new subs are oh so needy and it annoys the one who has taken control to no end. There is a constant strain on your time and energy from them. A constant desire to be close to you. An overwhelming need to be acknowledged, guided, instructed, and reassured. A new sub is very much like a child learning to walk, talk, and how to interact in a proper way with you.

You are going to have an immense amount of patience with them for a while until they get their submissive footing. You are going to have to be able to discern and be comfortable with knowing when to discipline them and when to hold them safely in your arms to let them know they are safe. That will change with time as they progress in their journey beneath you, but for the first year it’s utterly time consuming and extremely taxing on your energy.

Are you able and willing to put them first in that way and to give this large amount of energy and care, or are you too selfish to take your responsibility serious? Does this feel like an overwhelming burden to you or does it feel natural for you to take them by the hand for a while and establish that structure for them that they need to feel safe?

Can you make decisive decisions and carry them out? Can you set rules and when necessary enforce them without feeling guilty or overloaded by them? Can you carry out a consequence to an action even if you know that action was taken with good intentions but goes against your rules? Can you instruct, explain and share yourself with them on a deep level that allows them to actually be able to trust you completely? Can you be reliable?

Those are just a few things you need to learn about yourself.

Can you admit when you were wrong or when you don’t know something? OH yes that is something you need to be able to do, since before you can control anyone else you need to be able to accept that you too are not infallible. You will make mistakes when you deal with this new human being under your control and to do something without knowing what it is you do will place them in harms way.

Are you willing and able to grow with them, to evolve, because dears you both will. With each experience you share you will both grow and evolve together or are you so set in your ways that there is no room for growth inside of you?

Are you able and willing to listen – really listen and to consider what you have been told, not just dismiss it as if it is worthless?

Does taking control, being in charge, guiding and providing strict but caring structure fill a need inside of you as well or are you just in it for the shallow benefits that it brings?

Does making a demand feel comfortable to you when it comes to those whom you have at your feet or does it make you feel apologetic and guilty?

Oh and hardest of them all, are you willing to be vulnerable as well and risk having your heart broken? In order to take control you have to be willing to do both as well.

Spirituality is about Balance as well!

First of all you will need to balance each other out and feed into each others needs. That’s why it symbiotic. Neither side goes without and that happens naturally if you are good match.

Second you need find balance within yourself. You need to be able to set boundaries for yourself and those who are your counter part. You need to find something that keeps your spirit flowing and the energy fresh.

Third you must continue to do your own journey as well. Both sides need undisturbed time in which they can recover from physical and mental strain. To reflect on the new developments that are going to be part of your relationship to one another. To realize and confront what makes you afraid or stops you from reaching that next level so you can sit down with one another and communicate that to each other without fear of it ruining what you are building.

Fourth you need to be able to step outside of your “roll” without stopping to be who you are so you can be the total of what makes you you. You are not “just” Dom/me or sub/slave you are also a regular human being with interests, priorities, responsibilities and more that are based in the regular every day world outside of the BDSM haven you are creating. Those will not magically disappear and now you need to be balanced enough to assure that you can be that as well without feeling guilty about making them important as well.

Fifth look to your own spirituality and higher divine power. Seek within you that which makes you a better human being and soak it up. I can not be your Goddess if I have no connection to my own higher power that replenishes me. I didn’t say anything about religion here, that is something totally different. We all have divinity inside of us, that is our best possible self and our purest thoughts.

Sixth remember that in the end it is still about about love. A D/s relationship at it’s best it one of the purest most untainted forms of love out there. If all things sexual are strip away from it it still endures and continues to grow because it is intimate and mutually embracing, giving, and accepting of each others strength and weaknesses.

Learning to separate the body and mind!

Our bodies are deceptive little things really. When your devotion as a submissive or your dominance as a Dom/me is purely hinged on sexual urges, visual eye candy, physical attractions, and satisfaction of the body it is doomed to failure in the long run because all those things change and are shallow connections indeed.

In order for things to last you need to seek to get to know each other on a deeply mental level, connect on an emotional level, and bond on a spiritual level as well. The ying and yang that is you forms a whole. Without beginning and end, infinite symbiotic satisfaction and feeling of being in the right place, complete acceptance and feeding of each others needs without guilt or shame. Being as one each from their place perfectly fitting to one another.

That does not happen overnight and takes a lot of effort and patience, willingness to push through the hard spots, and honest communication with one another away from sex, play and just spend in spiritual and devoted to each others betterment communion with one another.

Well dears that was a different look into BDSM I am sure for most of you and I now it challenges the mindset of many, but then what is growth without being challenged to become a better version of yourself daily.

Goddess Bella Donna




Why do we have traditions and

unspoken courtesy rules?

BDSM talk by a 25 + Years experienced Goddess

Good morning everyone, come on in and take a seat. Slaves and subs on the floor, Ladies and Lords on the Couches, the rest of you that are undecided go stand somewhere until you can figure out what you are today.

For the last few years now we keep reading the “This is not your Mother’s BDSM” phrase over and over again. We see old school BDSM Traditions not only being laughed out of hand, but literally ridiculed and belittled.

We witness a complete disregard for protocols, common sense practices, unspoken courtesy rules and a disdain for Traditions that gave a core structure to what we’d end up developing our own individual styles and paths within the glorious Arena of BDSM in.

Ladies bemoan the insincerity and flakiness of the male submissive / slave and the submissive / slaves bemoan their inability of finding women who actually really exude not only power but who are comfortable with it as well as retain a certain amount of humanity.

Ladies complain that the guys are cheap and unreliable losers and the guys complain that the women are now just pure business transaction inclined.

We have the great controversy about catering to the guys from the side to the Ladies, and the entitled I should get it all for free and my way in order to be motivated to “tribute” and “serve” from the guys.

You are right Dearies, this is NOT your Mother’s BDSM any longer and welcome to the NEW AGE BDSM you have created in your ultimate wisdom of knowing everything so much better then literally GENERATIONS of women of Power before you. This is the result of breaking completely away from Traditions and scoffing at those “Unspoken courtesy rules” because sadly online by no means carries the same consequences for your actions then real time would.

You find those Traditions and unspoken courtesy rules restrictive and out of date. You mistake them for something that stops you from developing your own Style and setting your own RULES for your Queendoms, but in reality they never have been that.

No Dearies, instead they were just a solid core foundation that kept all sides safe and on which you can build your HOUSE of Dominance. They are a GIFT handed down from Generation to Generation of dedicated to BDSM individuals who realized that unless you have some type of structure and agreed upon common courtesy rules BDSM will decline into a free for all and chaos.

Now the majority of you who may read this probably don’t have any type of real time experience at all or have only played outside of the actual BDSM Communities. That seems to be a big thing now online with the newer Generations as well. Online truly is all about the fantasy of Domination and submission, but oh so many do not want to be bothered with the reality of it.

BDSM Gatherings where real time participants from all sides interact with one another is very much all about courtesy and respect for one another and your actions will have consequences when you keep insisting of letting your own big fat head to get in the way. Your “entitlement” will only be tolerated for so long before someone else with an equally big EGO but probably a lot more experience will not so politely show you the door or tell you to go back to school first before darkening that particular door step again.

Online you are protected by an AVATAR – your anonymity – and it gives you a false sense of security and bravery, it gives you a false sense of being excused from acting out badly, and a false sense of EGO as well. If you ever want to see what the nature of humanity is when it feels safe from repercussion just sit back and watch Twitter and Facebook Timelines run past you. There you will see the nature of each individual in a condensed version.  It’s really eye opening just how foolish people can get when they think that nobody can reach them and that there will never be any consequences for their Actions. However they all forget that the INTERNET has a very long long memory. It’s called caches. Not the people so much, but everything you do and say online gets stored away for a very long time and real life agencies, future employers, anyone who wants to do a background check on you that includes future possible life partners and your own offspring if you ever have any, can access this cache and bring back things you have thought long forgotten and gone.

One of the Traditions in BDSM was to keep a strong sense of privacy and protecting those who are part of the BDSM Arena from being exposed to individuals who would not be able to understand your needs and desires to act or be treated a certain way which goes very often in direct opposite of what most Vanilla Traditional behavior is seen as.

People in BDSM (all sides) come from all different walks of life and some of them have jobs, careers, businesses and affiliations that would be ruined – YES RUINED – if their activity would be discovered. Now online there is a big following and fantasy fetish that is about ruination and home wrecking, but the reality of this really happening would be devastating and not  only to the sub / slave / fetishist who gets his wish, but to his FAMILY, his Co-workers, his JOB which gets drug into the mud now too and many other people who did NOT CONSENT to this.

Now I can just see the women who are participants of this fetish and take it as far as to actually carry it out to the bitter end laugh and go “So what the hell do I care?  It’s his own freaking fault. The Loser got exactly what he wanted and I got paid so fuck you GBD!”

OK fair enough – I fully belief in making each person accountable for their own actions, but that includes you. For one as a Mistress / Goddess etc you are under the obligation to keep your slaves safe from HARM and that often includes from their own stupidity and ignorance. You are the first to point out all the time that a male is unable to think once his dick is engaged. So now the responsibility falls heavily on your powerful shoulders. Of course that is one of those traditional ways of thinking and unspoken rules you make so much fun of in your “wisdom” and need to “reinvent the wheel again”.

So let’s make it personal to you. If a males wife actually does find out about this and you pushed your home wrecking schemes a bit too far and took it out of pure fantasy land, the chances are that she’ll divorce him. During a divorce all manner of things will be drug into the court room and this will NOT be a friendly divorce since she will be furious not just with him BUT WITH YOU!!! Oh I know you don’t care YET, but when your name starts getting drug around in the Court System as Evidence A and that goes on record trust me you will care later on down the line.  Let’s just say She has more class then you do and doesn’t set out to ruin your life in return. There is always the Cache and Karma being a bitch. I wonder how your future Partner or his / her Family will feel if they ever decide to do a little background check on you and see all those lovely little things you did there. You are a person who can not be trusted with a Relationship or anything else for that matter. Those are real consequences to foolish actions. Same goes for Career choices etc. Think before doing. How far should you really carry it???

Oh and you boys who want so desperately to be ruined… the fantasy of having to live homeless might be a turn on until you actually do. There is nothing sexy or glamorous about that and by the way once you are destroyed do you really think she will still care about you? She never did to begin with fools, SHE TOLD YOU SO from the start.

I am not talking about acting out a fetish fantasy on a clip, in an Audio, in a piece of writing or during a “Session”, but the public one on one displays that are directed at a person in full public view. It becomes very hard for people to distinguish what is just a fantasy fetish roleplay and what is real here. The wrong person sees it and you just made it real without meaning to perhaps. Again, there is a reason of why we protect our slaves, subs, and pets privacy.

Let’s go to what we refer to as “toe stepping” and “slutting around behind Mistress back” without permission.

The principal behind this is actually really simple. If it doesn’t belong to you but to someone else and you have not been invited to use it by the one who it belongs to then you keep your hands off. That pertains to both human beings aka subs / slaves as well as toys / tools.  Now online we have this “thought reasoning” that if the Mistress can’t control her bitch boy then he is fair game, in real time however such an action would have severe consequences.

Getting “marked” as non-trust-worthy and pretty much be shunned is the minimum of the consequences and that might not mean much to you now until you actually want to be able to meet new people, be allowed at Play Parties, Dungeons etc. Oh but wait there is more. Get on the wrong person and you may just get your ass beat, find pain inflicted on your person or all kinds of lovely little memorable actions that come with being a thief, because Dearies that is exactly what you are. It doesn’t just disrespect the other Lady and the slave, but shows that you have NO self-respect.

Now there are things where you cannot control if someone owned or collared spends money on you. For example if he buys content from you via one of the many venues out there, or if he hides the fact that he belongs to someone else. Basically at that point you are just as much a victim of his deception as She is, but when you literally approach a slave who is clearly labeled as belonging to someone else and engage them in conversation with the intent of either poaching him or USING HIM without his Mistress Permission, then that’s 100% on you.

Oh and boys you don’t get away without getting smacked here either. A slave who can be poached and who sluts around behind his Ladies back without Her permission to engage in “intimate” conversation with the intend to provide service or tribute to another, is NOT worth having. It breaks trust and is unbecoming of the supposed D/s relationship bond you should be having with Her. If being a slut is in your nature then don’t ask to be owned or collared by a Lady or at base minimum be honest and seek HER CONTROL about to what extend you are allowed to indulge in slut behaviors. It’s called catting with Permission and many Ladies have RULES that will benefit HER and you in the end.

KNOW YOUR PLACE and act accordingly!

Once upon a time, haha yeah sounds like a Fairy Tale I know, submissive seekers were required to show proper courtesy and respect when interacting with Dom/mes and Tops. They didn’t run rough shot over them, back talk to them, call them out of their name, or address them in overly familiar ways. That went in private as well as in public settings. The Mistress / Goddess etc WAS NOT an afterthought in a conversation, service or action.

There is a reason why in real time during the slave training period a lot of Ladies actually instituted a rule of having to ask permission to speak first. Slaves / subs interrupting a Mistress when speaking or conversing with another Mistress / Master unless it was important (aka an Emergency) or had been told to inform HER if something had taken place (like the seat in the Restaurant they had been waiting for now was available) held severe disciplinary actions once they were in private again or if during a Dungeon party on the spot.

Have an old school Lady like myself and you’d have to clear permission to interact with another Dom/me first. You didn’t just go run off and chatter away like a magpie. That usually meant that if I granted permission I knew that other Lady or Lord and held HER / HIM in esteem. In HIGH PROTOCOL setting they would actually approach ME first and ask Me agreement to speak to MY slave or request a service from them such as fetching them a drink or finding them a seat. They didn’t sent their slave to do that either, they approached Me themselves and I would do the same for them. It showed mutual respect and assured that there would not be any misunderstandings later on down the line.

Just DEMANDING attention or service from a sub / slave who belongs to another is paramount to grabbing their collar and leash in real time. I have bend more then one wrist back in the real world for that action. Their Collar and Leash are not just symbols of their belonging to whomever holds the key to that lock and the end of the leash, but is their “SAFETY ZONE”. It means I have granted them MY PROTECTION from unwarranted and often unwanted touching, demands, or anything else that would almost literally force them to step out of sub zone and behavior.

Just because someone identifies as sub / slave does not mean they are yours. It’s theirs to offer and give freely, not yours to force and demand. The Collar and Leash represents that their choice has been made and the Lady or Lord has accepted it and has given her agreement to take up all of her rights and responsibilities over that submissive person from here on out until such time that there is a “request to be granted release / freedom”, dismissal or dissolution of the collar, or literally death do you apart.

Yes that too is an actual Tradition and unspoken rule. Starting to see where they are not there to rain on your parade, but are there to keep all sides safe and assure that you can concentrate on building that Queendom, that D/s relationship etc?

Oh and subs / slaves if you were to show your “dicks” or “just grab a Lady” or just think you can hope on someone’s lap without permission granted to do so, you’d find yourself very unpleasantly surprised. Most would not find this cute and cheeky in real time and if you come on a hard core and old school protocol and disciplinarian and Goddess you would be in a world of pain. The last male “slave” who just grabbed Me (and that was my shoulder) without permission found himself on the floor with My foot on his throat. The last male “slave” in real time who thought it appropriate to show Me his dick without it being demanded by me had a whip across it and a cane literally broken on his ass. As I said, KNOW your PLACE.

Oh and for you dear Doms, NO MY dominance is not up for discussion. I am your peer not some chick to be turned just because you have a dick. Trust Me I can always tell a Dom / Master who is worth his salt and is an actual BDSM Lord worth the mutual respect and some dick obsessed idiot who couldn’t dominate his way out of a brown paper bag.

A Dom worthy of mutual respect TREATS a Lady of Power with the respect She deserves and is a Gentleman to HER, not some obnoxious little tool. I have been fortunate indeed to have met many Doms / Masters whom I have had mutual respect with and watching them with their slaves has always been a delight as well sharing a discussion or time with them as equals.

Being a Brat, a cock obsessed hoodlum, an uncouth loudmouth with absolutely ZERO understanding or respect for little important things like S.S.C. , R.A.C.K, and respectful interaction with others in the BDSM realm as well as a measure of self-control, does NOT make you a Mistress / Goddess etc or Master / God. It makes you an imbecile at best who needs to get educated first. You can become someone, but right now you are unworthy of the title you slapped on yourself after watching some porno or watching some “Reality Shows”.

It would take Me way too long to keep going into many of the fine little traditions that made BDSM the wonderful world we get to play and participate in. That has allowed us all a measure of safety and freedom to explore our own desires and needs in a harmless way that doesn’t inflict damage on anyone.

A final thought for you to consider Dearies!

Nobody can tell you how to run your own show, that is a given, but remember that neither are we required to tolerate your behavior when it breaks every single bit of common courtesy and goes directly against Safe – Sane – Consensual.

Don’t bitch about subs / slaves or just males in general are nothing but a bunch of morons and entitled little shits when it is your disregard for anything even resembling tradition and core courtesies allowed for that to even become possible.

Guys, don’t you dare complain either that the majority of us Ladies of Power now are looking out for OUR benefits first and CHARGE YOU upfront for our attention. You did this to yourself when you bought into the idea that being submissive and providing service is all about sex and your dick induced thinking.

You wanted this new style of BDSM – you got it – now live with the fallout of it.

For Me and many other Ladies that still follow some of the traditions and courtesy rules, there will still be slaves who understand that actually SERVING and being CONTROLLED – DOMINATED – DISCIPLINED – GIVEN STRUCTURE – ETC… is what BDSM is all about and that you don’t get that unless you are willing to actually surrender, submit and obey.

Those slaves are treasures, the ying to our yang, highly intelligent and worthy of a place at our feet. They are the furthest thing from idiots, morons and losers. We leave those for you to ensnare…

Have a nice day Dearies!

Goddess Bella Donna




I love those old school disciplines!

Hardcore discipline of days gone by!

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one left on this planet who truly enjoys utilizing those good old school disciplinarian tools. A lot of the hardcore and often very humiliating disciplines I dish out to those who understand the concept of needing to accept their proper correction with a grateful heart are rooted in some of those very old school disciplines you may have found in the now old days.

Here are some of mine, how I enjoy adjusting them and what I love about them so much. Remember that discipline is essential to assure you will always try to be my good boy or gurl.


Are you old enough to remember having to go outside to pick a switch from a Tree so you could get your thrashing after having been a bad boy just a few times too many? If you attempted to pick one that wouldn’t hurt so much, not only were you send back outside to get a different one but the whacks you’d receive weren’t just a lot harder but more in count as well.

These days my adaptation of that is to lay out several different tools used for corporal punishment and then make you pick one. There will be a combination of light, medium and heavy pain inflicting tools on that table and some will look deceptively easy to take if you never felt them against your body.

There is a certain amount of mental cruelty to the act of making you choose since let’s face it, by nature you are going to want to choose the easiest one on you. As a slave you may assume that picking the most pain inducing one would get you off the hook a little and make me take it easier on you. To think that and acting on it would be one hell of a gamble, since if I am in a particularly merciless mood I may take it to mind that you are trying to manipulate me. Not something I will allow. Stick in the middle and play it safe…. Not a good idea either necessarily …

Basically this forcing you to pick is already part of the discipline itself since it makes you agonize about which might be the “best” choice to make. How well do you know your Goddess and her moods??? That is the question you should ask yourself at that point.

Now of course I like what comes next as well. There is an almost Victorian Age feel to the “switching a naughty bottom”. There is a whole psychological mind-fuck that goes on before we even get to the physical part.

Even so I may not make you literally go out and gather your switch from the Tree, and you probably shouldn’t count on that either, there is the whole torment of awaiting my decision.

Will I deem your choice acceptable and commence with the physical discipline or will I reject it, scold you and make you go and get another while explaining to you exactly in how much deeper of a trouble you now find yourself in?  Ah the precious moments of utter mental cruelty that will always keep you on your toes.


What about being made to go to the woodwork shop and make your very own punishment paddle and goodness help you if you didn’t do it right?

In a way that is a variation of the first only now not only do you have to choose wisely, but you actually have to put in the work to create the very tool that will bruise your ass so nicely.

Each step of the process becomes a whimper inducing foreshadowing of what is to come. It’s not a matter of if that wooden paddle will be used on your soft skinned vulnerable ass, but when, how often and how hard.

You want to pay close attention to what you are doing as well. Oh certainly you wouldn’t want to let your lack of focus be the cause that a splinter is suddenly stuck in your arse. You won’t find any mercy from me if it does. Sanding it down to perfection is after all your duty and let’s face it to your eventual benefit.

Now I personally fancy the idea of having your stamp or burn your name into it and supplying it with a hole and cord to hang in a prominent place in the household.

What joy it is to watch you walk past it each time when you even think about giving into the temptation to disobey and disappoint me. It’ll only take a few times of me commanding for you to get your punishment paddle before you have learned the disciplinary lesson of that day. Ah the whimpers, cries and assurances of how you’ll be so much better behaved for me from here on out are music to my ears. Just make sure you are sincere, but we both know where your Paddle hangs.

In either of those cases above there is also the moment when you have to strip down in front of me in order to receive the discipline you so deeply deserve. Peeling off what little protection your clothing allows you before being utterly vulnerable before me.

Knowing that without the barrier of even a flimsy pair of panties or underwear each strike with the tool of discipline will be so much more intense and so much more intimate.

Hesitate too long or attempt to argue your way out of the necessary discipline and I may just decide to make you wet your panties and underwear before administering the reminder of who is in charge here over its wetness. Now not only will you feel the pain of the tool intensely but the sting of humiliation as well.

I do not need to raise my voice my dear nor call you out of your name to make you see the strict love of God reflected in my hand and face. There is a reason I am your Goddess, I am rather skilled at creating good boys and gurls.

Let’s move away from the oh so painful old school punishments and go into the arena of the more mentally forceful options. Putting you into the position of the fool, the dunce, the imbecile without ever naming you such verbally. An experience many won’t forget.

Do you have one come to mind?

What about being put into a corner or other place where people could see you with a dunce hat on your head or any variation of humiliating outfit or signs?

Ah yes, the dunce, a person to be laughed at, pitied by the more tender hearted, pointed at and used for a tale of caution.

Not only is it humiliating that singling out from your peers for your misdeed or foolish misguided speaking out of turn, but it is something that once witnesses you will probably not be able to live down for a time to come. The dunce is iconic in many tales of humiliating tales of discipline. The disgraced fool in the Market Place or in Class Rooms where you had time to contemplate your wayward ways while being put on display as a showpiece of what not to do.

Petticoat Punishments date way back and sadly now days have been put by the wayside. The force feminization of a male via the dressing him in over the top girlish clothing with lots of ruffles, flounces and of course the iconic for women of that time petticoats and corsets laced tight. Silken hose, girlish knickers, shoes that scream girl and more.

Of course that was back in the day when it was a deeply humiliating and embarrassing experience for a boy to be made to dress that way and paraded out to the snickers and laughter of those around him. Back then boys still had a different level of pride and this sissification of his appearance was something that he wanted to avoid as much as possible. “Looking so much like a pretty girl.” Was not a cause for strutting around showing off unless forced to do so back in those days, but something that made you hang your head in shame and work really hard at being worthy of being dressed as the boy you were born as.

Of course a lot of Matrons advices their female offspring to continue on this humiliating and debasing measure of correction with their new young husbands or submissive minded husbands when he didn’t show the proper respect or hard working attitudes required to support his household in the manner SHE deserved. He was a lot less likely to strut around, be a drunkard in the Pups, or attempt to cheat on her or humiliate her with his roaming eyes and hands, when dressed like a female. It was emasculation as a form of discipline and correction long before it became the attention whoring fetish of sissification we see today.

More the pity actually because it was such a lovely way of getting a male to see things in a more female type of way.


Soaping someone’s mouth out was a wonderful and very memorable way of teaching them how to speak politely and mind your verbal manners. It became another rather iconic picture of a woman placing a bar of Ivory Soap or equivalent in the mouth of a verbally disrespectful boy or girl and make them hold it in their mouth for a duration of time while contemplating what got them there or enduring a rather strict and harsh lecture / scolding on the proper social graces when speaking to your betters.

A variation which is a bit more painful and yet just as humiliating is the clothe peg placed firmly on the outstretched tongue for a duration of time which makes it impossible from keeping yourself from drooling helplessly after a time. Not to mention the discomfort you’ll experience both at the application and removal of it.


These days when we think of time out it is not much of a disciplinary action or punishment any longer since all it does is give the person time to think of more mischief. That used to not be that way since time out often came with being put into rather physically straining positions with required your fullest focus so you wouldn’t drop the items or lose your balance. Something that would have been cause for a much harsher and more painful punishment. Go ahead try and hold out a fully loaded Tea Tray in front of your body for about 20 minutes and see just how difficult that is. In many cases dressed fully as a servant girl again bringing another now Fetish into existence.

Line writing and knuckle rapping was something you saw frequently in Schools and Households. You may scoff at the simplicity of this at first until you have to sit on your desk or stand by the blackboard writing a single sentence 100’s of time in beautiful penmanship and without a single error.  Fail to do so and your knuckles were rapped with a wooden ruler. The same went for having ink on your fingers since it showed that you didn’t value the money spend on your writing equipment back then.


Scrubbing the Bathrooms and especially the Toilets when someone had a naughty mouth was not unheard of either. Now then off course you still used a lot of elbow grease to get the job done and once finished the white glove inspection by the LADY of the house was not something you wanted to fail.

Lucky enough to have servants in the house? Not so lucky when a young man forgot his place and hassled the female help. These women were paid by the Lady of the House to do work not be playthings for the young “Master”. If he wouldn’t mind his manners and remembered his place in a household in which the women traditionally ruled that Domain it was not uncommon to have the Housekeeper and Cook put him over a chair or make him bend over to grab his ankles while using a cane or other strap to educate him about proper behavior towards those hard working women.. Always with the Lady of the House present and overseeing the correction aka HER full approval.

Oh yes, I sure enjoy those old time disciplinary actions and I find it a bit sad really that so many have gone by the wayside now. It was a wonderful tool to build character and remind a male of his place and that respect towards women is not optional but a given.

A strong female hand often made a difference in how the grown man would behave later on down the line. Those were disciplinary actions you would never forget and learned to wish to avoid.


Goddess Bella Donna

Selective service and tributing

A little blunt talk by Goddess Bella Donna

Piggy Bank photo

Photo by Ted Van Pelt

The moment you begin with telling me what you are willing to tribute towards and how you will serve me (we are not talking about hard limits here) you have just stepped out of being a submissive or slave and into being a fetish client.

Now there is nothing wrong with being a fetish client at all, but it’s a thing far removed from being a submissive or a slave. The dynamic changes, the interactions change, the time spend with you and the effort put into you changes. Oh and loves, you don’t get more, you get less. Matter of fact you ONLY get what you literally have paid for and the price may just triple because of your attitude.

Most of the males I interact with in some form or the other are fetishists. The percentage of how many males a Lady like myself interacts with depends on the individual. For me, these days,  it’s roughly 96% fetishists and 4% actual sub or slave material.

Read that carefully. I said sub or slave material not submissive to or enslaved by me. The thing is that just because someone carries the spark in them doesn’t mean you and them will be a good match or that they are not just hanging around looking for attention even so they are beholden to someone else, which makes them automatically off limits for anything more than paid counseling chat to me. In that case  I step purely into the role of the Advisor or emotional lifecoach / counselor if they approach me and I do get paid for that service.

Males have a tendency to try to control things, which is ironic especially when they come to a FemDom or Disciplinarian for interaction and a session. It’s ironic because supposedly you are seeking to give up said control and experience what it is like to have decision taken away from you and be controlled in a way that she enjoys.

It’s a complete oxymoron in action.

Instead of however actually letting go and experiencing what it is you supposedly seek after a bit of an “interview chat” in which I will find out your hard limits, your limits, your enjoyments – fetish and kink interests, and your actual experience level, you still insist on trying to control as much as you can get away with in the session itself.

Now that may go to “Topping from the Bottom” or “sub leading” behavior. It’s not giving feedback or answering questions that are designed throughout the session to test your threshold of what you can take, nor is is it the typical and healthy aftercare feedback chat you will have with a submissive or slave in training.

Selective Service and selective tributing is no different.

The essence of SERVING is to do something in an utterly selfless manner without it being required to arouse you in any way in order to delight, bring pleasure (not always sexual), amuse and ease the life of the Mistress / Goddess / Queen etc you wish to serve. Being OF USE TO HER and knowing that you have made her life easier and more pleasurable IS THE REWARD in itself. It should feed a need inside of you that is present in actual slaves and submissives.

Before you ask what is the difference between a slave and a submissive.

To me personally I classify it as such.

A slave is mentally and emotionally enslaved, obedient, desiring to be of use and service, and fulfilled by being under the control of his / her Mistress / Goddess / Queen etc at all times. He doesn’t need to be physically aroused in order to be that way. She does not need to stand over him / her 24/7 a day, but can depend on her will being done and her best interest being of highest priority to the slave at all times. The slave does not serve purely on his or her own whim, when it is convenient or only in ways that he / she enjoys. As long as it doesn’t break any hard limits or personal agreements between Mistress / slave, the slave will provide service in any manner ordered, desired, mentioned, hinted at etc. A well trained slave is a pure treasure in the Crown of the Goddess and does not require constant hand holding, micro-managing or being forced to obey. He / she does it because it is the natural thing to do for them. It completes them and gives them purpose.

A submissive more often then not is more motivated to obedience when he is in the mood for it. A lot of what we call “Weekend – Warriors” are submissive or only submissive in the bedroom. They are not as deeply controlled as a slave and retain a larger amount of “rights” over their own actions and behaviors even within the D/s dynamic. Most of the time you will see or experience them “feeling submissive” when they are in the mood rather then being submissive regardless of the mood. I consider them to be slave light versions.


A fetishist in most cases simply plays at being submissive and usually only in the areas that entices them and when it is convenient to them and they are aroused. For them it is more about selfishly pursuing their experiences in the various kinks and fetishes they want to explore or enjoy, then making it about the Lady whom they are temporarily kneeling to. This is the majority of the males and even females you will encounter in the Fetish Communities these days. It’s a short term roleplay interaction from which both  sides will walk away from after the session is over. Flat out and blunt it is pure pay to play interaction especially online.

It’s important to understand that concept and distinction since it will serve to keep a lot of heartache, disillusionment, and misunderstandings at bay. Especially as a Mistress / Goddess / Queen / Disciplinarian it is important that you know what type of male you are dealing with so you do not fall for the illusion of the interaction.


Selective service and tributing is never ok!

I am not talking about doing something that is a hard limit for you. We shouldn’t even need to bring that up. That’s common sense. Hard limits are just that – hard limits. However that doesn’t mean you get to pick and choose which service you provide for Me outside of hard limit land.

If I desire for it to be done, it needs to be done and done properly. That’s what you are there for. To delight me, to please me, so serve me in the ways I prefer to be served, and it’s an honor for you to be allowed to do so. You confuse play time or scene time with servitude all too often. Play time or scene time is about both of us to indulge in our kinky nature and have fun. SERVICE is purely about giving Me what I want. By the way you don’t get play time or scene time without SERVING me first. You earn that, you are a slave.

Tributing is the same way. Giving someone a gift they didn’t ask for or won’t find enjoyment in, or you do exactly the opposite of what you were told is preferred or a priority, then you didn’t make it about Me but about yourself.

For example if I say I want my new laptop as a priority gift because this is something I actually need right now in order to continue running my business and you decide that I should have 5 pairs of shoes instead because you are foot and shoe bitch, you didn’t buy it for me but yourself. It turned you on to buy those shoes, instead of realizing that at the moment the laptop was a lot more beneficial to me.  I always mark my amazon wishlist with priorities so you can see what is the most important gift(s) on the list that I prefer and actually want / need the most right now.

Ever so often I hear things like: Oh Goddess I adore you so much but I rather not tribute cash to you (even so I make it clear that this is MY preferred way of tributes and gifts since I can use it in any way I DESIRE!) but I’ll buy you a gift or send you a gift card (to whatever store he things I should buy from). Can you see where this is no longer about ME and what I WANT? He is making decisions that are about his preferences rather then adoring me and begifting me. If the gift or tribute is truly for Me and about Me, you give Me what I want and prefer, not what you prefer.

Now don’t get me wrong darlings, that is actually a mistake most people make even in regular vanilla life. They buy and give gifts to someone because they like it and just figure since they like so will the other person. It’s human nature and that is also why so many women make a joke about this so often. When it comes to men giving gifts they are usually pretty clueless unless told exactly what you want. Hey best case scenerio I just tell you how much it will cost, have you give me the money for it and then go get it myself.

You have been taught that this is a heartless way of gift giving, but to me it’s the only guaranteed way I actually get what I want. So I prefer it that way, and you should too.

The core essence primary priority for a slave or sub is to make ME happy!

Look boys and sissies, that is one of the wonderful things about being enslaved by, in service to, under the control of a Goddess and Disciplinarian like myself. It’s really easy to get it right as long as you simply do what you have been told.

There is no guess work involved since unlike so many regular vanilla women (which always drives you guys nuts when they do that) there is no beating around the bush and heehaawig about what I want, how I want it, when I want it and in which progression I want it done. I take the guess work out of things for you, take control, make the decisions and all you have to do is listen, pay attention and obey. Get it done, do it right the way I declared and you have one happy Goddess looking down at you with great benevolence in her heart. Isn’t that the ultimate goal for you all?

Remember this always – A happy Goddess is a playful and generous Goddess with attention too!

I am a divine woman, a wonderful Disciplinarian, a deeply strict but caring Queen, but no matter what I am still human as well. That means if I am constantly being annoyed by disobedience, am stressed out because I just have entirely too much on my plate to take care of, have to worry about whatever normal human beings worry about, then the last thing on my mind is giving you attention, playing with you, conditioning you, training you etc.

Even a Goddess has only so much Energy and the more I have to use up for all those other things because you are not doing what you claimed you wanted to do for me – serve me, provide for what I want, need, desire etc (Yes that is actually what good boys and sissies due for their lady so stop with the BS), then I just have nothing left for you.

You literally become obsolete to me. If I have to do it all by myself or pay for it all by myself and out of my pocket, then what are you good for? You are just another chore or burden at that point. Just something else I have to get around to doing. Is that really how I should feel about you, or shouldn’t you be the light of my day and someone I gt to look forward to interacting with because you have done well for Me?

I’ll leave you with that for the day. Think about it.

My Birthday is on April 8th and if you come here to learn from my insights or to find arousal, wisdom etc in my words then show me that you are worthy of my time and appreciate me.

Buy me a gift of my Wishlist. Look what I want the most or need the most and do the best for within your budget limit.

Want to make me really happy then send me a cash tribute instead. You can send a giftrocket to goddess@paymepiggy.com (make it out to anywhere), send me a tribute via www.niteflirt.com/GoddessBellaDonna or use this link to send me a tribute.

There you go, lots of different options and that means no excuses why you can’t do something nice for Me on my special day. Oh and no, sending me a Birthday gift doesn’t make you a paypig instantly, it makes you someone who knows how to be appreciative. Something I personally adore and take notice of.

Goddess Bella Donna






The real man myth

Some blunt talk by Goddess Bella Donna

Man photo

Photo by kevin dooley

At the risk of me offending some sensitive souls here, remember that this is only MY opinion and that you can agree or disagree with my thoughts on this. It honestly makes zero difference in the big scheme of things.

In order to understand the following post it is important for you to understand that I am NOT talking about any alternative identifications to the original equipment between your legs you were born with. Aka your penis.

I am going to go purely on the traditional idea of someone with a penis being a male. If you do not identify as a male then this has nothing to do with you. You are excused. Away with you now!

Have you noticed that I said the traditional idea of someone with a penis dangling around being a male not a man? Read it again and understand that just having a penis, a pillar and stones, as they used to call it at times too, marbles and stick if you will, doesn’t make you a man. It makes you a male – traditionally speaking – and nothing else.

It’s easy to identify you. Drop your pants, look down, do you see an outward growth rather then a slit, then you were born a male. Pretty easy. That requires no skills, no special further requirements, it’s not an achievement to be proud of and oh by the way you didn’t get a choice in the matter either. It was simply what was handed to you as you grew inside your dear Mother’s womb. Hence it gives you zero special privileges and garners no rewards. Congratulations – it’s a boy!

Now let’s talk about being a man. Oh my goodness now we are in an entirely different Wheelhouse aren’t we and you may not qualify.

Before you start putting your hands on your growth and start desperately fondling and jerking it because you figure you are about to be told all about the merits of a real man having a big hard cock and who can make a woman scream while fucking her to the point of having her at the edge of passing out, let’s fix your illusion.

If that is all it takes then I am more real man than 80% of you males out there. All I have to do is strap on a cock and fuck her. Being a woman I’ll do a hell of a better job fucking her into bliss then you do with your idea of what love making and proper fucking is. Seriously half of you need to be send to training camps just to learn how to be a proper fuck aka STUD.

So a big cock (length + girth) along with the ability to properly provide sexual satisfaction to a woman doesn’t make you a “real” man but a Stud. A brute animal for pleasure. Wham bam thank you Sir … you are now excused until I desire your services again. Bye bye now.  See how easily you are dismissed. In the big scheme of things your big dick means nothing and oh by the way doll face again – IT’s NOT A BLOODY ACHIEVEMENT OR SOMETHING TO BE OH SO PROUD OFF. YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HAVING IT. YOU JUST GOT LUCKIER THAN YOUR SHORTER DICKED BROTHERS.

Physical attributes like size of cock, looks and how lovely your thick good hair is makes no difference at all when it comes to being a man. Matter of fact if you are one of those vain little peacocks who spends more time in the mirror than the average woman does, I’d rather classify you as sissy. A popinjay, a dandy and unless that comes with a Maids Uniform and a chastity device, and proper housekeeping services who has time for that Jazz?

So what does make a man a man? Oh boy I am about to ruffle feathers in so many camps I may have enough feathers to start up an entire pillow factory. I am about to have males and females be very upset with me because oh my goodness I am going old school traditional and way back before all those trend words where ever thought of.

A MAN is a male who:

Provides financially for himself and his Family and / or those who he has pledged himself to without complains and without whining about it.

Protects himself and his Family and/ or those whom he has pledged himself to without complaint and without whining about it and assures they that they are SAFE! He will gladly stand between them or her and danger. He knows it is his privilege as a man to do so, not hide like a bitch behind the skirts or women like a child.

Achieves and is motivated to achieve advancements in his job or career so he may provide better and easier for his family or those he is pledged to. He takes pride in his ability to better himself and his financial circumstances, not takes pride in being a loser, a waste of time or lacks a healthy bit of self-esteem that allows him to have those achievements.

Has MANNERS and uses them. That should be enough to be said on that one.

Has self-confidence without being an egotistical little shit. He knows what is he worth and brings to the table, but still understands that the only thing he is entitled to is the things he EARNS and works for.

Is HONEST, LOYAL and DEVOTED. His word is his bond, not someone who throws out promises which he never holds.

Accepts WISE COUNSEL and is able to think for himself. A man is not an imbecile who needs to have everything chewed out for him and spoon fed. He is of value, not worthless. He is of use, not looking to be used. He is able to think and ease the life of his woman, not need her to be his Mother in the traditional sense of the word.

Doesn’t need to live with his parents once he is an adult. Seriously if you are in your mid to late 20’s and older and are still being taken care of and have your life paid for by your Mommy and Daddy, you have NO right to call yourself a man. Get out there and support yourself. The only excuse on that one is if your Mom or Dad are too old to take care of themselves or are ill and you have to be their caregiver.

Doesn’t abuse Children, Women or the Elderly period. What is wrong with you guys that you even think that is ok?

Doesn’t leave a relationship with someone they are pledged to just because they get bored or it gets a little difficult. If it is impossible to remain in the relationship after you have tried everything you can and it only brings misery to both, then man up and have the talk with her not go out and look for a woman to wreck your home for you because you are a miserable little coward.

Has HONOR! If I have to explain honor to you, you are already disqualified. You are excused.

Doesn’t use things like feminism, female superiority, female supremacy, Goddess worship etc as an excuse to be a lazy, no good, bitch boy with absolutely no responsibilities. That’s not supporting your supposed causes, you are not a white freaking knight, you are a lazy guy who has figured out that you can use that as an excuse to look like the “nice guy”. Spits.

Are you starting to get the idea yet darlings? You need to earn the right to call yourself a man, by actually living up to what it means to be a man. YES even in the YEAR 2017. Maybe even now more so then ever, because we are terrifyingly short on REAL MEN now-a-days, because you my dears are pussified to a point that is is terrifying for our future.

You have NOT been excused from your obligations boys. Not by WOMEN anyways. Being a submissive male,  a sissy, a crossdresser, a bitch boy to a Mistress / Goddess / Queen etc, does NOT excuse you from being required to be man, if anything it is a base requirement.

So the myth of real man being the ones who can just fuck you and strut around all macho like with no substance is just that .. a myth. You are nowhere near a man, at least not in my REALM.

I discipline, command, am served by, dominate, and otherwise interact with men in my REALM. Do NOT confuse your kink, your fetish interests, with need to submit and be controlled by Me with what you need to be first before you are even worthy of being a sub, slave, sissy, bitch boy, puppet, minion, creature, adult baby etc for Me.

I don’t play with little boys, I take MEN and turn them into my special boys.

Goddess Bella Donna








Men need discipline and structure

Let’s take you back to the beginning…..

I want to hope that you still had the pleasure of an actual upbringing in which your Mother was involved in the everyday running and control of the Household. I want to further assume that when your Mother told you to do something it was a given that you’d either obey her and do it or if you were inclined to be a brat took the consequences of your disobedience.

I want to make the assumption that your Mother still held the position of the original undisputed female authority figure in your life and that she assured that you were granted some basic life lessons via her careful, fair and strict discipline and guidance.

There is a very good chance that your mother was NOT a Dominatrix – neither lifestyle nor professional – and that she didn’t need to resort to running around naked in front of you in order to get you to mind your manners with her.

More and likely, if you are of a more advanced age and are at least in your mid to late 40’s by now, you will still up to this day show your Mother a certain amount of respect or even at your age suffer the consequences of her displeasure.

Now why am I talking about your Mother here and the authority figure I hope she was in your life?

The answer is simple. Think of me as a combination of “Mother 2.0” as in the Archetype of wise older woman guiding, controlling, and disciplining as well as praising those under her charge and a Dominatrix who can make you understand a whole new meaning to the word suffering consequences for bad behavior if necessary.

I rarely resort to curse words when speaking to my slaves, subs, minions and devoted servants. I don’t need to do so and find it a rather obnoxious waste of energy to raise my voice. That however doesn’t mean you won’t feel yourself slapped hard across the face by the tone in my voice as I make MY AUTHORITY over you very clear.

I have the great pleasure of having experience as both for an immense amount of years now. I have raised Children into Adulthood as well as trained, conditioned and been served by slaves for a very long time. I have found many similarities in them both and since I do not allow my slaves to fuck me I truly stand above them as the superior Goddess whom you obey, serve and worship.

Oh how often have I heard the same tired excuses coming out of the mouth of a full grown man when he didn’t want to do something or disappointed me with his less then stellar efforts that I heard from my offspring as they grew up. Is that perhaps the reason why all men return once again to being boys before the great Mother Goddess?

In so many ways that is how we must treat you, teach you, condition you and return you back to those all important basics which you oh so frequently forget.

Oh and keep in mind – discipline is done out of love and care for your betterment. No matter how strict, how hardcore it may be in hard cases, how humiliating it might feel at that point, it is still only given to those who show potential to better themselves for us. I personally don’t waste MY precious time and energy (disciplining you take a lot of both) on an individual who shows no potential of ever becoming someone worth while. So when I discipline you make sure you accept it with a grateful heart even if your ass is sore, your muscles quake, your body quivers, and the tears are running down your cheeks. You won’t like the discipline, but it is what you need desperately and we both know it.

You can’t pull the wool over my eyes dear boys, and you won’t be in charge either. Oh make no mistake about it, I may allow you to run the length of your rope just to see if you have learned your lesson yet and can be trusted to please me without my having to watch you every second of the day. I however also know that until deep and unquestioning obedience and love for me has taken root deep inside of your wayward little soul, I’ll probably find you strangled by that self-same rope and by your own doing. Hopefully I get to you before you gasp for air too badly and once more take you to the hearth and home to administer the strict Discipline you need.

I find it amusing when men think that they are in charge over women and I laugh at women who actually belief that men rule in relationships. The thing is that women always hold the final control in a relationship to some point and extend. Men only can misbehave as far as we allow them too and not an inch further. Once a woman has found her worth and knows that she isn’t here for anything she is not willing to give and endure in a relationship the Wheelhouse just became hers and the rules changed. If you proof to be a lost cause, unworthy of our attention, ungrateful or too delusional in your own egotistical thinking to where you forget that your woman (doesn’t matter if dominate, sub or equal) is still your Lady and Queen too and treated with love, care and respect, you will lose her eventually. There will come a point when she’ll walk away. It may take a while, but sooner or later she’ll have her ducks in a row and walk away from you. Women are only as blind as they allow themselves to be, and only accept your behavior for as long as it amusing them or is necessary to align the tools for your hardest lesson to be learned. So never forget that boys.

You get to do what you want only as far as I am in agreement with it and finds it of benefit to your development and evolution into becoming the type of man I can be proud of having in my life and / or at my feet. If you finished your work (job / career), have finished doing your chores which I have assigned to you, have taken care of the errands I want run, and have worked on whatever was necessary for you to advance into a higher position in your job, we can see about how your free time might be spend. If I have no need for you at the moment I am open to listening to your ideas of what you might enjoy doing and receiving as a little treat for being such a good boy for me.

I said open to listening, that doesn’t mean I am going to automatically approve it so. I’ll weigh it carefully and make a decision. Don’t worry, you’ll be allowed some of it here and there, because I am a wise woman who knows that everyone needs something as a treat that is just for them once in a while to keep them feeling cared about and motivated to do better.

I belief in strict but fair discipline as well as rewards when warranted. I belief in scolding you as a mature woman in the position of authority would when necessary and I belief in praising your good efforts and work when you have pleased me well. I belief in listening, watching, taking note of your needs  and I belief in there being a time for you to be silent and absorb the wisdom I impart to you.

I belief that a human being cannot be forced into doing anything they don’t truly want to do. You can’t force someone to evolve into a better version of themselves, but you can motivate them to see the logic of it, inspire them to want to be the type of person you can be proud of, and give them the tools to make it possible via strict discipline and structure.

You know I am speaking truth and I know that right now you are probably trying to fight yourself hearing all those voices from your past who make you suffer under the knowledge that you want nothing more than to be that good boy being controlled, cared about, guided and YES disciplined by a woman who understands what it is he needs.

If that is you boy then you better approach me with a humble heart and your very best manners. Let Me take you back to the basics and give you that strict German Discipline and Structure you need so desperately. It’s time to surrender and come home boy.

Goddess Bella Donna

Call GoddessBellaDonna for phone sex on Niteflirt.com

German photo

Photo by torbakhopper

Strict German Disciplinarian 

Just the HARDCORE BITCH you need to enslave you!

Enough of the coddling and cuddling you sniffling worms. Enough with all that talking about your “feelings” and “sensitive fragility”. For crying out loud – are you men or babies still suckling on your Momma’s tit. If you are looking for that go and talk to your poor wife or girlfriend. I have no tolerance for sniffling worthless snatches like you in my realm.

You are not here to be entertained, but SERVE ME! If you can’t do that then you are of zero use to Me and that which is of no use to Me and can’t be pulled up by it’s bootstraps enough to be of some value to MY Life, gets disregarded with tomorrows trash.

Did I make myself perfectly clear boy?

It is my firm belief that you have become useless and weak with your ease of living.

Your back is no longer strong enough to carry the precious cargo that is my delectable big body. You whimper and whine like a little bitch because you actually have to do something other then what you want to do. You call yourself a man? I wouldn’t insult the lowest of MY Lowest slaves with putting you into the same category with them. You aren’t even fit to be considered a boy. You want something to cry about little bitch? I’ll give you something to cry about as I stomp all over your sensitivity.

Your idea of entitlement to be rewarded for substandard service is unacceptable. I will not tolerate such unbecoming behavior from a male in my presence, nor will I tolerate your “suggestions” of how things should be done. If I require your input or feedback, I will be sure to let you know, until such time that I issue that command you will be silent so your irritating sniffling sounds don’t hurt my ears.

There is only one Commander, one General, one Goddess in this Realm and you bitch are NOT it. That privilege and honor belongs to me. Until you have proven yourself worthwhile to listen to and accept your opinions as wise counsel because you have shown yourself valuable to me, I don’t care a lick to hear it.

I have been generous up to this point. I have allowed you to use the intelligence that you should have been given to show me that you are worthy of being conditioned to becoming one of my servants and slaves. You have failed miserably in that endeavor and now it appears it is time that I take much stricter control over you.

This is your last chance boy. Do you understand what that means? Your last chance? It means if you allow your selfishness, your ego, your misguided ideas of what it means to serve at the feet of a Goddess like myself to get in the way of what is my will and my preferences, you will find yourself back in the void and oblivion of being nothing but just another useless guy chasing his cock around.

Oh and talking about that worthless appendage between your legs which has brought you nothing but trouble ever since you discovered it’s nasty pull, it shall be locked up for as long as I deem it necessary. Access to it shall be denied and if I find that you do things only in hopes to be unlocked so you can pull on your pigs-tail, I will find a very special device which may just electrify your desire to do better for the right reasons.

I find that strict discipline, protocols and regimented structure is the best course of action for a Y chromosome inflicted specimen like yourself.

Strict discipline may just make a man worthy of the title of slave to this GERMAN DISCIPLINARIAN and GODDESS out of you, but of course that won’t happen overnight.

I have a lot of bad habits to drag out of you and whip you back into shape if necessary. I hope you are prepared to suffer my wrath, surrender to my disciplinary actions, and learn to appreciate and fully embrace your life by MY feet and under MY control.

Oh and just to make one more think perfectly clear, I have no interest in calling you names and pointing out the obvious. Your penis is what has made you subject to this situation. Your inability to properly be OF USE TO ME without my having to resort to such hardcore disciplinary actions as you’ll have to endure in order to become even palpable again to Me, has already made you inferior to me and a loser in the lottery of life. We shall not waste MY precious time on reinforcing those thoughts that have already set you up for failure. Your mind and body will be occupied with much more important matters like PLEASING, SERVING and AMUSING ME.

Kids games, cuddling your fragile little ego and playtime is over. WELCOME to the world of your strict German born Goddess.

On your knees and report to me NOW!

Goddess Bella Donna