Monthly Archives: April 2017
My perfectly imperfect freestyle filming style
You can’t script life – so why should I script My clips?
I thought it would be fun to talk a little about My particular filming style and why I prefer to do what I call “perfectly imperfect freestyle” filming for my clips. It’s something that I have done pretty much from the beginning and even as my equipment has improved over the years I have filmed now, my outlook on it has not changed.
When I decide to film and get ready – hair, ,makeup, nails, getting dressed etc. – I honestly have no idea yet what I am going to produce that day. All I know is that I am going to produce several clips in various fetishes for my various Studios. That’s it. I don’t script ahead of time and I don’t narrow my creative ideas down either.
Once I am ready I set up my Webcam, do a test clip to check visual and sound, and then allow the muse to move me.
What you see on the clip and the words I say are all happening organically at that very moment. I allow my mind to open itself up to possibilities and then give it free reign. I film what is fun to do and feels good at that moment to Me.
I know, this may be disappointing to a lot of you boys out there, who are so used to being the focal point in what so many of us Ladies film, but you are honestly just the happy lucky recipients if you spend the money of My having fun with a Fetish I like to personally indulge in.
As I film a clip it is always Me to you. Meaning I “speak to the lucky boy or sissy” who spend the money in order to receive the product that I have created.
In my minds eye I picture a submissive pet either standing, sitting or kneeling in front of Me. I have done so many real time sessions in my time that it is extremely easy for me to picture the reactions a sub might have when I tease, deny, scold, give my orders, and discipline. I can literally see physical reactions to it in my mind – body and facial – and I react to it in the clip I am filming as if I am responding to it. That allows me to give that intimate feeling of a real time session happening with you at that moment.
When I film educational clips or “group setting clips” like my Satanic Reverend style Sermons I picture myself giving a sermon or a “lecture” in a public real life group setting. Since I have done talks before in small public settings and given workshops for couples as well, it is again something that I can recall to mind, picture, and react to.
Once my mind has settled on the fetish topics – I rarely only cover one at a time, since in my real time sessions I always combine various fetishes and kinks – I simply do what I would during a real time session as well. I simply allow it to flow and unfold.
You can’t script real life down to the T. It’s impossible. There is always something going to happen that wasn’t planned or unforeseen. You are trying to be stern and suddenly your nose starts itching. Your necklace is crooked and you don’t notice it. You can’t spit a word out right for some reason. There is a background noise right outside your door or the phone rings. You are inhaling and suddenly your sub makes a face and you are laugh-coughing because it goes down wrong. A lot of different things can happen and will.
Most people will edit those out in order to produce and present a perfectly flawless product to their fans. I don’t, I leave those little real life happenings in, because I want YOU to get the real time feel and experience. In real life I couldn’t undo it either. Once it happened it is done. No do overs or take backs.
I think of it as perfectly imperfect freestyle. Real life captured on film. Goddess as she lives and breathes, no censorship or editing required. As long as the picture is clear and the sound is good, I usually just put my copyright in, website links and My name in various spots in the clip, and I am ready to release it.
Since I film “solo girl” style – no sub with Me since I am putting you through your paces – I can focus on just myself being clearly visible and the view point I want you to have.
The most difficult thing to get over at times is to see yourself on film to be honest. I had to learn not to be critical of myself and how I look. The camera will always throw some shadows in your face, add some weight to you, and in my case I have this stubborn lock of hair that is always guaranteed to get out of place and in my way.
Filming raw like this requires a lot of self-confidence and an attitude of – If you don’t like the way I do this, the way I look, the way I sound etc… – exit stage left. It’s the same attitude I have with real time and online slaves, subs etc.
Let’s get really realistic for a second. No matter who you are, you are not going to be everyone’s taste. So to drive yourself nuts over “those guys might not liking you” is ridiculous. If they don’t they go somewhere else and another lucky guy will take their place.
I am 47 years old now, have zero surgical enhancements on my body, weigh 246 – 250 lbs depending on that time of the month, have a swayback that will naturally push my belly out further to the front, and yes I have some laughter lines and wrinkles around my eyes. I am a regular every day woman who loves what she does and enjoys sharing it with those who can afford to pay for MY work and products.
If you want perfection in filming there are thousands of producers out there who will cut and edit a clip down until it is nothing more than a stage production. It’s perfect for those who want the illusion of perfection in their fetish pornography.
Me? Well I bring a dose of “real life” to you and allow you into MY life for that span of time. What you see on film with me is what you’d see during a real time Session when you kneel to Me in person. I am not one bit different on film then I am in real life. I don’t put on a “show” and I don’t perform a “persona”.
I am just Me… – Goddess Bella Donna – which means sometimes I am silly, sometimes I am cruel, sometimes I am mean, sometimes I am sensual, sometimes I switch attitudes in the middle because you “misbehaved” etc. Real personality showing through.
I don’t have a big studio to film in and I no longer have my in-house dungeon space the way I used to. So this gives you more of a feel to as if you actually came to visit me in my RV or maybe I took you on the road with me.
Now not all of my clips are purely fetish and FemDom either. I enjoy spinning erotic wicked tales as well and give a nod to my writers side. There I take you “back” or “into the future” of what your life might look like under my control or the control of wicked forces. You can see me smirk or my eyes light up in laughter as I picture it too.
I like sharing that bit of mental intimacy with you and that is something that if I was to edit or script would be lost. It’s the spontaneous unfolding of my wicked mind.
To me filming has to be fun for Me or it is not worth doing. I share a special part of Me in those clips and as I always say — “You can either appreciate Me for it or go your way!” I am perfectly imperfect in every way and that is what makes ME a true Goddess of duality. Perfectly embracing of herself and accepting of the fact that you are human too and flawed in those delicious ways.
Goddess Bella Donna
The spiritual side of BDSM
Healing, evolving, connecting on a deep level and more!
Oh yes Goddess is on a roll today and apparently the Teacher in Me is strong in Me today. Now before you begin to read this “out loud meditation” on a deep subject matter, I want you to remember that all I am offering up to you here is food for thought and a bit of My Wisdom that was born out of MY personal experiences in BDSM over a couple of decades.
You are as always free to disagree with Me and of course reject it out of hand. You are on your own Path within BDSM and may not be able or willing to share one similar to mine.
For the remainder of this writing I will dispense with the online tradition of Capitalization for Dominant Individual and lower case for the submissive side and will revert back to standard writing. I am pretty sure that the intelligent individual can figure out when something comes from the TOP of covering position and the bottom or to be covered one. NO that is not sexual – we are talking about a form of intercourse but not the fucking type.
One of the many reasons why people unfamiliar with BDSM practices see it as something vilified, immoral, dangerous and abusive is because they are only presented with a lot of the kinky play aspects of it in pornographic literature, films and “trigger for arousal” geared towards often time male thinking online content.
For the unschooled novice or unfamiliar to BDSM bystander a lot of what we do can appear to be very damaging and abusive on both a physical and mental level indeed. Let’s phase it for someone with any type of psychology training a lot of the things we say and do is borderline mental illness behavior on both sides. There are definitely parallels in it if things are done outside of consent and safety which would push them into that realm. Ah but there is where we are entering the arena of the title above.
Human sexuality and desires to experience ourselves within the confines of a safe and consensual environment with another Adult whom we feel a measure of trust towards can be extremely important for our emotional and mental health as well as our personal evolution in becoming our most authentic self.
As the ying and yang towards and for one another in a good match and with much care for the welfare of each other we create a safety zone in which each side is released from the “morality” and “society restraints” of a society that plays by very different rules then we do.
We are not “broken” as so many people assume, but very often we have been scared emotionally in some way by what we have been told by outside influences and overly dogmatic upbringing makes us “bad”, “unworthy”, “sick” and “unlovable”. It closed many people off to reaching out to someone else and allowing them to see us for who we truly are on the inside or perhaps could be in caring circumstances.
A strict but ultimately caring which is build on consent, trust and safety, as well as structure and ritual D/s relationship and/ or “intercourse” removes this necessity to hide what we want, need and are starved for – the D/s intimacy that comes with a good match – and allows us to blossom into the person we are on our most authentic core level.
We begin to remember and learn within this structured and safe environment that there is nothing wrong with us for having a desire to be something other then what society tells us is ok. We are able to explore and discover what we truly want, what makes us happy and yes even find our limitations and own moral compass.
If you remove the kinky actions of the BDSM play and focus purely on the interaction, rituals, respect, intimacy and trust that is the core of every good D/s relationship you’ll discover that a rebirth of self and a deep healing takes place. It becomes without dogma a spiritual experience of learning to love, trust, embrace fully and be the catalyst to evolving for ourselves as well as our D/s opposite and / or partner.
It is an irony for many when they see someone in a strict but caring D/s relationship speak of always putting each others welfare first and providing an absolute form of freedom via enslavement. We are always so focused on fighting for our rights that to hear someone giving their control and “rights” over to another person and to willingly become dependent on them for their good will, guidance and benevolence it is hard to understand.
Living a life in a selfless manner that pleases the one to whom you surrender to is actually a selfish action in and of itself in a twisted sense of human desire. For that type of person it is acting in accordance with their deep seated need to be controlled, guided, be useful to and have a deep purpose when behaving in such a selfless way. Their need is fulfilled by the one who allows them to hand that control over, give up those decisions, and is willing to pick up the reigns over their life and often deeply hidden desires and needs. In the same way someone who feels a deep seated desire to take control, to guide with a strict but caring hand, to discipline and condition, to be the catalyst and inspiration for that other person to become a better and more authentic version of themselves, is acting in accordance to their true nature and is at the same time providing a selfless service to that person by becoming their purpose to be their very best for them.
It looks black and white, but it is actually ying and yang, symbiotic and deeply spiritual in nature.
We talk about destroying, abuse, forcing them in often very callous ways (apparently to the outside) but those are all fractions of the sentences that should be said in full to give the true measure of what is going on within that intimate and private relationship in which side is fully embraced of themselves and each other.
Let me give you a few sentences in full as I see those words above from the side of the one taking control and giving strict but caring purpose, structure and dominance over the one kneeling in full surrender to Me and My will.
Again remember this is purely how I see it and how it feels to Me.
I will destroy within you the false sense of being bad, worthless, unlovable, undesirable and the pain of your upbringing as well as your bad habits that are cause of self-sabotage and which keep you from finding and blossoming into your best and most authentic self in order to build you up into someone of whom I can be proud of, take great joy and pleasure in, and who can find deep seated satisfaction and healthy pride in living up to his or her purpose as was placed within your own nature and which is part of your true authentic self.
See how different that sounds?
In return you will surrender yourself to Me, trust Me to know what’s best for you, give me honesty and obedience. You will make My happiness, My needs and desires your priority. You will bend but not break your spirit beneath Me and give Me what I need to take control over you as My sweet creature which I am pleased with and feel worshiped by. You will place Me upon that Throne and lay before Me all of the gifts (including yourself) that are yours to give. That includes your fears, your worries, your dreams, your desires, your needs, your obedience, your trust, your worldly possessions (to a point) in order to assure your Goddess is comfortable and well provided for, for SHE now takes you into her hand and gives you what you need most of all. Acceptance and guidance of your most deeply hidden self and will help you heal, evolve and become that GEM that right now is oh so rough.
I will abuse you of the notion that without sacrificing your Ego and without your willingness to give yourself to Me in perfect trust and perfect love as is due to me as your Goddess on high, that you are able to find your way into that deepest darkest core of yourself and become that which you need to be in order to be complete and satisfied.
I will force you into opening your eyes and sink deep into the darkly hidden places of your being to face that which you are and learn to not only accept it but embrace it. I will force you to go into those dark shadows that scare you so much by allowing you the bright light of my control and guidance so you can find your way always and can finally come home where you belong. With Me!
The only thing I truly ever force anyone into doing is to seek within themselves who they truly are and admit to themselves that which it is they need. I cannot and will not force a person to take an action that is truly abhorrent to their nature or the bully them into submitting to me. That is something you must lay willingly and eagerly at my feet and oh yes it will scare you and make you feel vulnerable, but that is what you need to be.
Can you see where it goes a lot deeper and is very spiritual in nature? It is truly a path into your very own self and a reemergence of your authentic self without feelings of guilt and shame. You are made whole by this and can find contentment and acceptance within this once you have done the journey into yourself. The Voices that tell you that being different then what people tell you you should be may never truly be silenced, but they will no longer be able to hurt you or harm you. They will simply no longer hold power over you and you can finally find that home with the one that knows and understands you and doesn’t judge you ill for it.
For those of us who are the ones who will take the power into our hands and who will become the foundation and safety upon which our subs and slaves can kneel upon, we have to do our own journey into ourselves and discover if we are truly willing, able and happy to carry the responsibilities and weight of our standing.
You always just see, hear or read about the great and amazing privileges that come with being THE ONE. We sweep the flip side of that under the table because it destroys an illusion for so many. That is one of the reasons why we have so many people out there who throw words like owned around without even knowing what that means.
We see the strong arm act and the constant tough talking bitch act as a representation of what a Mistress (or yes Master is), but the reality of it looks very differently.
Again please remember that I am only offering you my insight on this.
One of the biggest complaints is that new subs are oh so needy and it annoys the one who has taken control to no end. There is a constant strain on your time and energy from them. A constant desire to be close to you. An overwhelming need to be acknowledged, guided, instructed, and reassured. A new sub is very much like a child learning to walk, talk, and how to interact in a proper way with you.
You are going to have an immense amount of patience with them for a while until they get their submissive footing. You are going to have to be able to discern and be comfortable with knowing when to discipline them and when to hold them safely in your arms to let them know they are safe. That will change with time as they progress in their journey beneath you, but for the first year it’s utterly time consuming and extremely taxing on your energy.
Are you able and willing to put them first in that way and to give this large amount of energy and care, or are you too selfish to take your responsibility serious? Does this feel like an overwhelming burden to you or does it feel natural for you to take them by the hand for a while and establish that structure for them that they need to feel safe?
Can you make decisive decisions and carry them out? Can you set rules and when necessary enforce them without feeling guilty or overloaded by them? Can you carry out a consequence to an action even if you know that action was taken with good intentions but goes against your rules? Can you instruct, explain and share yourself with them on a deep level that allows them to actually be able to trust you completely? Can you be reliable?
Those are just a few things you need to learn about yourself.
Can you admit when you were wrong or when you don’t know something? OH yes that is something you need to be able to do, since before you can control anyone else you need to be able to accept that you too are not infallible. You will make mistakes when you deal with this new human being under your control and to do something without knowing what it is you do will place them in harms way.
Are you willing and able to grow with them, to evolve, because dears you both will. With each experience you share you will both grow and evolve together or are you so set in your ways that there is no room for growth inside of you?
Are you able and willing to listen – really listen and to consider what you have been told, not just dismiss it as if it is worthless?
Does taking control, being in charge, guiding and providing strict but caring structure fill a need inside of you as well or are you just in it for the shallow benefits that it brings?
Does making a demand feel comfortable to you when it comes to those whom you have at your feet or does it make you feel apologetic and guilty?
Oh and hardest of them all, are you willing to be vulnerable as well and risk having your heart broken? In order to take control you have to be willing to do both as well.
Spirituality is about Balance as well!
First of all you will need to balance each other out and feed into each others needs. That’s why it symbiotic. Neither side goes without and that happens naturally if you are good match.
Second you need find balance within yourself. You need to be able to set boundaries for yourself and those who are your counter part. You need to find something that keeps your spirit flowing and the energy fresh.
Third you must continue to do your own journey as well. Both sides need undisturbed time in which they can recover from physical and mental strain. To reflect on the new developments that are going to be part of your relationship to one another. To realize and confront what makes you afraid or stops you from reaching that next level so you can sit down with one another and communicate that to each other without fear of it ruining what you are building.
Fourth you need to be able to step outside of your “roll” without stopping to be who you are so you can be the total of what makes you you. You are not “just” Dom/me or sub/slave you are also a regular human being with interests, priorities, responsibilities and more that are based in the regular every day world outside of the BDSM haven you are creating. Those will not magically disappear and now you need to be balanced enough to assure that you can be that as well without feeling guilty about making them important as well.
Fifth look to your own spirituality and higher divine power. Seek within you that which makes you a better human being and soak it up. I can not be your Goddess if I have no connection to my own higher power that replenishes me. I didn’t say anything about religion here, that is something totally different. We all have divinity inside of us, that is our best possible self and our purest thoughts.
Sixth remember that in the end it is still about about love. A D/s relationship at it’s best it one of the purest most untainted forms of love out there. If all things sexual are strip away from it it still endures and continues to grow because it is intimate and mutually embracing, giving, and accepting of each others strength and weaknesses.
Learning to separate the body and mind!
Our bodies are deceptive little things really. When your devotion as a submissive or your dominance as a Dom/me is purely hinged on sexual urges, visual eye candy, physical attractions, and satisfaction of the body it is doomed to failure in the long run because all those things change and are shallow connections indeed.
In order for things to last you need to seek to get to know each other on a deeply mental level, connect on an emotional level, and bond on a spiritual level as well. The ying and yang that is you forms a whole. Without beginning and end, infinite symbiotic satisfaction and feeling of being in the right place, complete acceptance and feeding of each others needs without guilt or shame. Being as one each from their place perfectly fitting to one another.
That does not happen overnight and takes a lot of effort and patience, willingness to push through the hard spots, and honest communication with one another away from sex, play and just spend in spiritual and devoted to each others betterment communion with one another.
Well dears that was a different look into BDSM I am sure for most of you and I now it challenges the mindset of many, but then what is growth without being challenged to become a better version of yourself daily.
Goddess Bella Donna
Why do we have traditions and
unspoken courtesy rules?
BDSM talk by a 25 + Years experienced Goddess
Good morning everyone, come on in and take a seat. Slaves and subs on the floor, Ladies and Lords on the Couches, the rest of you that are undecided go stand somewhere until you can figure out what you are today.
For the last few years now we keep reading the “This is not your Mother’s BDSM” phrase over and over again. We see old school BDSM Traditions not only being laughed out of hand, but literally ridiculed and belittled.
We witness a complete disregard for protocols, common sense practices, unspoken courtesy rules and a disdain for Traditions that gave a core structure to what we’d end up developing our own individual styles and paths within the glorious Arena of BDSM in.
Ladies bemoan the insincerity and flakiness of the male submissive / slave and the submissive / slaves bemoan their inability of finding women who actually really exude not only power but who are comfortable with it as well as retain a certain amount of humanity.
Ladies complain that the guys are cheap and unreliable losers and the guys complain that the women are now just pure business transaction inclined.
We have the great controversy about catering to the guys from the side to the Ladies, and the entitled I should get it all for free and my way in order to be motivated to “tribute” and “serve” from the guys.
You are right Dearies, this is NOT your Mother’s BDSM any longer and welcome to the NEW AGE BDSM you have created in your ultimate wisdom of knowing everything so much better then literally GENERATIONS of women of Power before you. This is the result of breaking completely away from Traditions and scoffing at those “Unspoken courtesy rules” because sadly online by no means carries the same consequences for your actions then real time would.
You find those Traditions and unspoken courtesy rules restrictive and out of date. You mistake them for something that stops you from developing your own Style and setting your own RULES for your Queendoms, but in reality they never have been that.
No Dearies, instead they were just a solid core foundation that kept all sides safe and on which you can build your HOUSE of Dominance. They are a GIFT handed down from Generation to Generation of dedicated to BDSM individuals who realized that unless you have some type of structure and agreed upon common courtesy rules BDSM will decline into a free for all and chaos.
Now the majority of you who may read this probably don’t have any type of real time experience at all or have only played outside of the actual BDSM Communities. That seems to be a big thing now online with the newer Generations as well. Online truly is all about the fantasy of Domination and submission, but oh so many do not want to be bothered with the reality of it.
BDSM Gatherings where real time participants from all sides interact with one another is very much all about courtesy and respect for one another and your actions will have consequences when you keep insisting of letting your own big fat head to get in the way. Your “entitlement” will only be tolerated for so long before someone else with an equally big EGO but probably a lot more experience will not so politely show you the door or tell you to go back to school first before darkening that particular door step again.
Online you are protected by an AVATAR – your anonymity – and it gives you a false sense of security and bravery, it gives you a false sense of being excused from acting out badly, and a false sense of EGO as well. If you ever want to see what the nature of humanity is when it feels safe from repercussion just sit back and watch Twitter and Facebook Timelines run past you. There you will see the nature of each individual in a condensed version. It’s really eye opening just how foolish people can get when they think that nobody can reach them and that there will never be any consequences for their Actions. However they all forget that the INTERNET has a very long long memory. It’s called caches. Not the people so much, but everything you do and say online gets stored away for a very long time and real life agencies, future employers, anyone who wants to do a background check on you that includes future possible life partners and your own offspring if you ever have any, can access this cache and bring back things you have thought long forgotten and gone.
One of the Traditions in BDSM was to keep a strong sense of privacy and protecting those who are part of the BDSM Arena from being exposed to individuals who would not be able to understand your needs and desires to act or be treated a certain way which goes very often in direct opposite of what most Vanilla Traditional behavior is seen as.
People in BDSM (all sides) come from all different walks of life and some of them have jobs, careers, businesses and affiliations that would be ruined – YES RUINED – if their activity would be discovered. Now online there is a big following and fantasy fetish that is about ruination and home wrecking, but the reality of this really happening would be devastating and not only to the sub / slave / fetishist who gets his wish, but to his FAMILY, his Co-workers, his JOB which gets drug into the mud now too and many other people who did NOT CONSENT to this.
Now I can just see the women who are participants of this fetish and take it as far as to actually carry it out to the bitter end laugh and go “So what the hell do I care? It’s his own freaking fault. The Loser got exactly what he wanted and I got paid so fuck you GBD!”
OK fair enough – I fully belief in making each person accountable for their own actions, but that includes you. For one as a Mistress / Goddess etc you are under the obligation to keep your slaves safe from HARM and that often includes from their own stupidity and ignorance. You are the first to point out all the time that a male is unable to think once his dick is engaged. So now the responsibility falls heavily on your powerful shoulders. Of course that is one of those traditional ways of thinking and unspoken rules you make so much fun of in your “wisdom” and need to “reinvent the wheel again”.
So let’s make it personal to you. If a males wife actually does find out about this and you pushed your home wrecking schemes a bit too far and took it out of pure fantasy land, the chances are that she’ll divorce him. During a divorce all manner of things will be drug into the court room and this will NOT be a friendly divorce since she will be furious not just with him BUT WITH YOU!!! Oh I know you don’t care YET, but when your name starts getting drug around in the Court System as Evidence A and that goes on record trust me you will care later on down the line. Let’s just say She has more class then you do and doesn’t set out to ruin your life in return. There is always the Cache and Karma being a bitch. I wonder how your future Partner or his / her Family will feel if they ever decide to do a little background check on you and see all those lovely little things you did there. You are a person who can not be trusted with a Relationship or anything else for that matter. Those are real consequences to foolish actions. Same goes for Career choices etc. Think before doing. How far should you really carry it???
Oh and you boys who want so desperately to be ruined… the fantasy of having to live homeless might be a turn on until you actually do. There is nothing sexy or glamorous about that and by the way once you are destroyed do you really think she will still care about you? She never did to begin with fools, SHE TOLD YOU SO from the start.
I am not talking about acting out a fetish fantasy on a clip, in an Audio, in a piece of writing or during a “Session”, but the public one on one displays that are directed at a person in full public view. It becomes very hard for people to distinguish what is just a fantasy fetish roleplay and what is real here. The wrong person sees it and you just made it real without meaning to perhaps. Again, there is a reason of why we protect our slaves, subs, and pets privacy.
Let’s go to what we refer to as “toe stepping” and “slutting around behind Mistress back” without permission.
The principal behind this is actually really simple. If it doesn’t belong to you but to someone else and you have not been invited to use it by the one who it belongs to then you keep your hands off. That pertains to both human beings aka subs / slaves as well as toys / tools. Now online we have this “thought reasoning” that if the Mistress can’t control her bitch boy then he is fair game, in real time however such an action would have severe consequences.
Getting “marked” as non-trust-worthy and pretty much be shunned is the minimum of the consequences and that might not mean much to you now until you actually want to be able to meet new people, be allowed at Play Parties, Dungeons etc. Oh but wait there is more. Get on the wrong person and you may just get your ass beat, find pain inflicted on your person or all kinds of lovely little memorable actions that come with being a thief, because Dearies that is exactly what you are. It doesn’t just disrespect the other Lady and the slave, but shows that you have NO self-respect.
Now there are things where you cannot control if someone owned or collared spends money on you. For example if he buys content from you via one of the many venues out there, or if he hides the fact that he belongs to someone else. Basically at that point you are just as much a victim of his deception as She is, but when you literally approach a slave who is clearly labeled as belonging to someone else and engage them in conversation with the intent of either poaching him or USING HIM without his Mistress Permission, then that’s 100% on you.
Oh and boys you don’t get away without getting smacked here either. A slave who can be poached and who sluts around behind his Ladies back without Her permission to engage in “intimate” conversation with the intend to provide service or tribute to another, is NOT worth having. It breaks trust and is unbecoming of the supposed D/s relationship bond you should be having with Her. If being a slut is in your nature then don’t ask to be owned or collared by a Lady or at base minimum be honest and seek HER CONTROL about to what extend you are allowed to indulge in slut behaviors. It’s called catting with Permission and many Ladies have RULES that will benefit HER and you in the end.
KNOW YOUR PLACE and act accordingly!
Once upon a time, haha yeah sounds like a Fairy Tale I know, submissive seekers were required to show proper courtesy and respect when interacting with Dom/mes and Tops. They didn’t run rough shot over them, back talk to them, call them out of their name, or address them in overly familiar ways. That went in private as well as in public settings. The Mistress / Goddess etc WAS NOT an afterthought in a conversation, service or action.
There is a reason why in real time during the slave training period a lot of Ladies actually instituted a rule of having to ask permission to speak first. Slaves / subs interrupting a Mistress when speaking or conversing with another Mistress / Master unless it was important (aka an Emergency) or had been told to inform HER if something had taken place (like the seat in the Restaurant they had been waiting for now was available) held severe disciplinary actions once they were in private again or if during a Dungeon party on the spot.
Have an old school Lady like myself and you’d have to clear permission to interact with another Dom/me first. You didn’t just go run off and chatter away like a magpie. That usually meant that if I granted permission I knew that other Lady or Lord and held HER / HIM in esteem. In HIGH PROTOCOL setting they would actually approach ME first and ask Me agreement to speak to MY slave or request a service from them such as fetching them a drink or finding them a seat. They didn’t sent their slave to do that either, they approached Me themselves and I would do the same for them. It showed mutual respect and assured that there would not be any misunderstandings later on down the line.
Just DEMANDING attention or service from a sub / slave who belongs to another is paramount to grabbing their collar and leash in real time. I have bend more then one wrist back in the real world for that action. Their Collar and Leash are not just symbols of their belonging to whomever holds the key to that lock and the end of the leash, but is their “SAFETY ZONE”. It means I have granted them MY PROTECTION from unwarranted and often unwanted touching, demands, or anything else that would almost literally force them to step out of sub zone and behavior.
Just because someone identifies as sub / slave does not mean they are yours. It’s theirs to offer and give freely, not yours to force and demand. The Collar and Leash represents that their choice has been made and the Lady or Lord has accepted it and has given her agreement to take up all of her rights and responsibilities over that submissive person from here on out until such time that there is a “request to be granted release / freedom”, dismissal or dissolution of the collar, or literally death do you apart.
Yes that too is an actual Tradition and unspoken rule. Starting to see where they are not there to rain on your parade, but are there to keep all sides safe and assure that you can concentrate on building that Queendom, that D/s relationship etc?
Oh and subs / slaves if you were to show your “dicks” or “just grab a Lady” or just think you can hope on someone’s lap without permission granted to do so, you’d find yourself very unpleasantly surprised. Most would not find this cute and cheeky in real time and if you come on a hard core and old school protocol and disciplinarian and Goddess you would be in a world of pain. The last male “slave” who just grabbed Me (and that was my shoulder) without permission found himself on the floor with My foot on his throat. The last male “slave” in real time who thought it appropriate to show Me his dick without it being demanded by me had a whip across it and a cane literally broken on his ass. As I said, KNOW your PLACE.
Oh and for you dear Doms, NO MY dominance is not up for discussion. I am your peer not some chick to be turned just because you have a dick. Trust Me I can always tell a Dom / Master who is worth his salt and is an actual BDSM Lord worth the mutual respect and some dick obsessed idiot who couldn’t dominate his way out of a brown paper bag.
A Dom worthy of mutual respect TREATS a Lady of Power with the respect She deserves and is a Gentleman to HER, not some obnoxious little tool. I have been fortunate indeed to have met many Doms / Masters whom I have had mutual respect with and watching them with their slaves has always been a delight as well sharing a discussion or time with them as equals.
Being a Brat, a cock obsessed hoodlum, an uncouth loudmouth with absolutely ZERO understanding or respect for little important things like S.S.C. , R.A.C.K, and respectful interaction with others in the BDSM realm as well as a measure of self-control, does NOT make you a Mistress / Goddess etc or Master / God. It makes you an imbecile at best who needs to get educated first. You can become someone, but right now you are unworthy of the title you slapped on yourself after watching some porno or watching some “Reality Shows”.
It would take Me way too long to keep going into many of the fine little traditions that made BDSM the wonderful world we get to play and participate in. That has allowed us all a measure of safety and freedom to explore our own desires and needs in a harmless way that doesn’t inflict damage on anyone.
A final thought for you to consider Dearies!
Nobody can tell you how to run your own show, that is a given, but remember that neither are we required to tolerate your behavior when it breaks every single bit of common courtesy and goes directly against Safe – Sane – Consensual.
Don’t bitch about subs / slaves or just males in general are nothing but a bunch of morons and entitled little shits when it is your disregard for anything even resembling tradition and core courtesies allowed for that to even become possible.
Guys, don’t you dare complain either that the majority of us Ladies of Power now are looking out for OUR benefits first and CHARGE YOU upfront for our attention. You did this to yourself when you bought into the idea that being submissive and providing service is all about sex and your dick induced thinking.
You wanted this new style of BDSM – you got it – now live with the fallout of it.
For Me and many other Ladies that still follow some of the traditions and courtesy rules, there will still be slaves who understand that actually SERVING and being CONTROLLED – DOMINATED – DISCIPLINED – GIVEN STRUCTURE – ETC… is what BDSM is all about and that you don’t get that unless you are willing to actually surrender, submit and obey.
Those slaves are treasures, the ying to our yang, highly intelligent and worthy of a place at our feet. They are the furthest thing from idiots, morons and losers. We leave those for you to ensnare…
Have a nice day Dearies!
Goddess Bella Donna
Pay Pig excuses for beginners!
A little Financial Fetish Humor with a side dish of education!
These “reasons” why someone can’t tribute are as old as My grandma’s buckskin bra and boys are still using them daily on new and not so new unsuspecting girls who haven’t developed an aversion to carrots yet.
What is really amusing is that after literally YEARS of financial domination or financial fetish has made it’s round now online and has literally turned into a fad, these silly little grasshoppers still haven’t come up with much of anything new.
I am personally wondering if this is a “hand-me-down ” syndrome from one generation of piggy trolls to the next generation not unlike what you see in Bars and Clubs when it comes to those super cheesy pick up lines that only work on the most desperate and inexperienced of women.
I don’t have a debit / credit card!
First of all this is almost impossible in this time and age where the majority of transactions and verification now require some form of plastic payment method in your name, but even if you are still living under a rock or have ruined your credit so much already that your Bank locks the door when they see you coming, there are is always such a thing as a Pre-Paid Credit Card you can purchase and load up with funds available in most Gas Stations and Retails Stores. That aside darlings, a boy without plastic payment methods online is utterly worthless. So use that excuse and you just bought yourself a one way ticket to iggy land.
I forgot my Wallet in the Car / Work / etc!
Oh my really? You were foolish enough to leave your Wallet with your ID in it and other really important information in a place that other people can easily get to? I think you best get your arse moving and retrieve it. *End of conversation* and *automatic block* for using one of the most annoying lies which just screamed loudly… I am an Idiot who thinks you are a total moron. NEVER insult a woman’s intelligence this way.
My wife / GF / Mother / Sister etc is coming!
Isn’t it funny how these dear ladies always show up right when it is time to put your money where your mouth is? Of course if they were really suddenly appearing you have a lot more to worry about when you are caught once again with your dick out jerking while talking to a strange women. As often as this seems to happen to some of you poor darlings may I suggest you start putting financial fetish on the back burner and start a savings fund for your impending DIVORCE. They do get rather costly.
I want to get to know you better first!
Now I am all for boys doing research and getting to know the Lady with whom they wish to have an actual D/s relationship with but let’s be honest that isn’t you. Someone who is actually into getting to know the Lady whom he approaches never needs to be told to send a courtesy or “sincerity” tribute to show that he is not just there to waste your time. They do it automatically because they respect her and want to see where this is going. So for the rest of you “wanting to get to know you better first” peacocks try this one… Go and read her blog posts, tweets, call her on a phone line and feel free to stay on for hours at the cost of xyz per minute while enjoying the delightful experience of getting to know her.
I am in between pay days, if you give me some time now …
Stop right there! This is an instant ignore UNTIL you have been paid and come back with tribute money. Giving you any kind of credit might happen once you have literally and loyally served Me for several years and I know I can trust you, but then in that case I would also know when your pay day is and I would have put you on a budget. So this wouldn’t be happening to begin with.
I would love to tribute you but I have other obligations right now that I have to take care of first!
Now this one I am not going to make too much fun off because if it’s actually true then I give you a small measure of respect, but until you got your obligations taken care of and have free to use aka play money you can tribute you have no business taking up MY time either. Go forth and pay your bills!
I am Student and just can’t afford to tribute you but soon I’ll have a great job and then I can spoil you…
First of all you need to be concentrating on your studies to begin with. Second when you first get a job in the field that you are currently studying and that is IF you get a good job in the field you are studying you will NOT have any money to spoil me for a long time yet. Why? It’s called Student Loans and getting your life set up. Maybe moving costs and many other little things that come with being a young adult who is just starting out. This might work on the 18 to 23 crowd of girls because they don’t know any better either, but a woman in her late 30’s on up who already had life experience and education of her own will laugh you right out of the court.
If you really would love what you are doing you wouldn’t require for me to pay you!
Wait I have to stop laughing first… What part of financial domination or financial fetish did you not get? If either of those is something the woman loves to do, then dipshit HER TAKING YOUR MONEY is the fetish and HER CONTROLLING YOUR FINANCES AS WELL AS TAKING WHAT SHE DESIRES AS PART OF THAT CONTROL is the DOMINATION! FINANCIAL = MONEY, MATERIAL POSSESSION, VALUABLE GOODS! Rolls eyes.
I am too cheap to spend a lot!
Thanks for the heads up … next. Listen we all understand budgets but Financial Domination / Fetish is a LUXURY FETISH and that means at least reasonably higher amounts. Now if you just want to actually tribute in the good old fashioned sense of the word, meaning giving without even as much as an acknowledgement then the amount doesn’t matter – go ahead and send your $5.00 and up. But that is not what you guys want is it? You want attention for it so try for the lower bankers at least $50 on up and for the general at least $100 on up, and for the High ROLLERS at least $1000 on up. What class do you belong in and want to claim? Cheapskates who are proud of being cheap are nothing but an annoyance in the long run and don’t belong in this fetish.
But I tributed to you last month!
That’s nice dear… pet pet pet on the head. What does that have to do with today? I took a shit last week too, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to poop today!
I have spent xyz on my previous Mistress talk!
YAWN!!!! What does that have to do with Me again? Look, first of all there is always a reason why she is your previous Mistress and second of all I didn’t benefit from it. So go and tell your best friend about it and jerk off with him to your fantasy of how that impresses anyone but yourself. If anything this type of bragging just gets you blocked for being a bore.
If you do xyz I will tribute you but you have to motivate me first. Show me your …!
Welcome to the Adult Industry Business Women Counsel. Your request to purchase a Show has been noted. I will pass your Order on to the next available Cam Girl, Escort, Fetish Producer or other available Entertainer who enjoys fulfilling your Order. Please be advised that you have just been filed as Trick, Client, or Weasel Dick who has zero idea of what submission, slavery and servitude is. Further more be advised that the going rate for your Demand starts at $250 and goes up from there depending on Entertainer and Model. It can go as high as $10,000 for basic depending on popularity and self-worth. Have a nice day. A SUB, SLAVE OR PAYPIG DOES NOT MAKE DEMANDS! HE EARNS HIS REWARDS BY OBEYING AND SERVING!
I could keep going but…
I think you got the point. Dear boys and girls, there is nothing new under the sun when it comes to guys making excuses as to why they can’t tribute or won’t tribute. There is an entire Fetish offspring that is build around this and it is called “Timewasting”. Yes, these days it has actually been turned into fetishism by guys who can’t or won’t actually afford to participate in the actual financial fetish or domination.
Now keep in mind that one persons trash is another persons treasure in the long run, but when you see someone tagging every single skirt with this type of BS the chances are that you have just encountered the proud Brotherhood of time consuming Weasel Dicks.
Don’t give them more time than you are willing to invest in them and always remember this girls – ONLY YOU CAN WASTE YOUR TIME – THERE IS A REASON WHY WE HAVE MUTE, BLOCK , IGNORE AND MOVE ON.
Goddess Bella Donna
Let the traveling commence!
Tribute / Sponsorship for your Nomadic Goddess
The clouds are breaking and the skies are blue. My time in Las Vegas is coming to an end on May 1st and I am going back on the Road again. Next stop for Me will be Susanville Ca where I will be staying from May until September. I found a great Summer Job for myself there which will make a big difference for Me in the long run.
Great news for Me and even better news for you boys, sissies and cash pets since it gives you the delightful opportunity to do something useful for Me and make yourself known.
The Travel Cost in My RV to get there and take it slow, Gas fillups, stays along the way, food etc… You know all the various costs associate with my traveling plans is $1000.
The money MUST BE IN MY HANDS by April 30th since I am turning the key to get on the road on May 1st.
I want to make a competition and game out of it which is why I call it a Tribute / Sponsorship rather then just a pure tribute.
Who can be MY best Contributor ?
My top Contributor will get a special “Thank you” Clip from Me – Exclusive or may choose to be “spotlighted” by Me here for one month on my Blog.
Runner up gets an exclusive Audio from me.
Minimum Tribute to start for either of those is $100.
Options to tribute are:
Giftrocket to email@example.com made out to anywhere with “Safe Travels Ma’am” as a note.
For International and USA Tributes billed discreetly click here!
Can’t afford $100 but want to do your part anyways then it becomes a pure tribute and no you don’t get into the running for best Contributor. For pure tribute minimum is $25.00 and you can use any of the options above as well.
Now let’s see who can be my best boy, sissy, contributor, cash pet, puppet or just FAN etc.
Goddess Bella Donna
Update April 15th!
$350 of the $1000 in total have been covered. Thank you for your Sponsorship / Tribute! That keeps $650 remaining.
I have spend $129 today on preparations to get on the Road safely on May 1st. This was for a full Oil-Change. YES traveling and maintaining an RV for safety is costly. This $129 was included in My $1000 Travel cost calculations.
I DO NOT make public who has Tributed or Sponsored Me unless it is directly requested by the Individual for their privacy.
I have had a couple of questions about if I can and would accept PayPal as a tribute / sponsorship option. I do have a totally Vanilla and utterly unlinked to anything Adult in nature PayPal account. Sorry I will NOT make it public since this is on an Adult Blog here. If you are someone I know and feel I can trust with this sensitive information (I get book royalties and other vanilla payments for non-adult services I render through this so will not risk someone being shady) you can email Me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask about it.
Update April 17th:
Now that was HOT HOT HOT – $400 more have been covered as pure travel tribute via a loyal and totally addicted Sissy Panty Jerk Off Bitch during a public wallet draining. Looks like the lucky slut gets a reward.
This leaves only $250 more to be covered. Who will take care of that for Me?
The dark and vengeful Queen
A tale of caution for all of you foolish boys and gurls!
There is so much whimpering and whining from males these days about women who have become dark, jaded, vengeful, cruel, mean, self-absorbed, bossy and who put them-selves first. You call them bitches, cunts, and other words meant to show your dislike and disgust for those women when they don’t play into your fantasy of what they should be like and do for you. When you get rejected and are made to not only man up but pay for the privilege of OUR attention, you want to resort to calling names and once again showing US that you are nothing more then little boys playing dress up in trousers far too big for your character.
The thing however is that it was males and many fellow females that created that Monster, that Villainess, that dark and vengeful Queen, who now looks upon the majority of foolish human beings with disdain, distrust and an attitude of – YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME UNTIL YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELF WORTHY OF MY ATTENTION AND BENEVOLENCE.
Was she that way? In most cases she wasn’t. In the majority she was probably born a real sweet girl, with flower dreams and candy spun hopes. She probably dreamed at some point of finding that special someone whom she could spend the rest of her life together. That Prince among men who’d treat Her like his Princess or Queen. A dependable, hard working man who’d know how to make HER feel cherished and who would be loyal / devoted to Her until the end of day.
Guess what! She grew up and very soon SHE learned that what She dreamed about now were a weakness and that men are no Princes or even Gentlemen these days. She learned, often the hard way, that if you wanted to get something done you had to do it yourself. That there wasn’t going to be anyone to come rescue Her when She really needed and that most of the time the opposite would be true. That loyalty and devotion no longer were common place with men and that they’d leave Her for a “different” model when things became tough.
So She toughened up and learned the ways of mankind. She became all of those things that She had hoped to find in a Partner and now it made you obsolete to Her.
Sexual satisfaction? Haha, oh She got that and She no longer needed you for it either. Oh there are so many fun toys on the Shelves to pick from and guess what you don’t have to worry about them being happy too, or of course there is always some guy willing to have a quick fuck just to take that edge off. She learned really fast that HER PUSSY was a lot more powerful then that dick that you are so proud of. She also learned by making you WORK FOR IT and rationing out what you thought was your due SHE now held the Power over you.
“Bitches be replaceable!” once said by hoodlum males with cocky attitudes now was reverberated back at you males. “Why yes they are and guess what boys – now you are HER bitches!” Does the Shoe fit Cinderella?
She learned to stop nagging and if you couldn’t do it by the 2nd asking She FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WOULD, once again making you utterly obsolete. Only of course oh you were so foolish as to see it as a blessing. Oh good less for you to do, that is until HE REPLACED YOU IN ALL THINGS not just the ones you didn’t want to get done.
SHE learned to shield HER HEART and began to take care of herself. Now empty flattery, promises and other words without actions no longer could melt HER sweet HEART.
She learned to become the MIRROR of your actions and stood before you reflecting all your bad behavior back at you while laughing at the discomfort it brought you.
SHE NOW WAS and IS FIRST and oh sweet vengeance became HER middle name. While you sunk deeper into the quagmire of your existence SHE ROSE to the TOP, demanded WHAT IS HER RIGHT and without apology TOOK IT!
Now that SWEET SMILE ON HER FACE has a tinge of WICKEDNESS to it because SHE IS PLAYING FOR KEEPS, but it isn’t you that she necessarily means to keep.
HER MEMORY BECAME LONGER and SHE NO LONGER FORGAVE EASILY! There is no more wrathful woman in the world than the forgotten Queen.
The feminine gift of love unconditional turned into TOLERANCE CONDITIONALLY ON WHAT WOULD BENEFIT HER FIRST and FOREMOST.
She learned that if she would have to walk the EARTH alone in HER DIVINITY, SHE MAY AS WELL USE THE BODIES AND WALLETS OF FAITHLESS MALES AS HER STEPPING STONES.
Look into the Mirror that is HER EXISTENCE oh FOOL IN HER COURT and realize that it was you and others like you who turned the sweet girl – the little Princess into the DARK and VENGEFUL QUEEN.
Pleasant dreams peasants …..
Goddess Bella Donna
I love those old school disciplines!
Hardcore discipline of days gone by!
Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one left on this planet who truly enjoys utilizing those good old school disciplinarian tools. A lot of the hardcore and often very humiliating disciplines I dish out to those who understand the concept of needing to accept their proper correction with a grateful heart are rooted in some of those very old school disciplines you may have found in the now old days.
Here are some of mine, how I enjoy adjusting them and what I love about them so much. Remember that discipline is essential to assure you will always try to be my good boy or gurl.
Are you old enough to remember having to go outside to pick a switch from a Tree so you could get your thrashing after having been a bad boy just a few times too many? If you attempted to pick one that wouldn’t hurt so much, not only were you send back outside to get a different one but the whacks you’d receive weren’t just a lot harder but more in count as well.
These days my adaptation of that is to lay out several different tools used for corporal punishment and then make you pick one. There will be a combination of light, medium and heavy pain inflicting tools on that table and some will look deceptively easy to take if you never felt them against your body.
There is a certain amount of mental cruelty to the act of making you choose since let’s face it, by nature you are going to want to choose the easiest one on you. As a slave you may assume that picking the most pain inducing one would get you off the hook a little and make me take it easier on you. To think that and acting on it would be one hell of a gamble, since if I am in a particularly merciless mood I may take it to mind that you are trying to manipulate me. Not something I will allow. Stick in the middle and play it safe…. Not a good idea either necessarily …
Basically this forcing you to pick is already part of the discipline itself since it makes you agonize about which might be the “best” choice to make. How well do you know your Goddess and her moods??? That is the question you should ask yourself at that point.
Now of course I like what comes next as well. There is an almost Victorian Age feel to the “switching a naughty bottom”. There is a whole psychological mind-fuck that goes on before we even get to the physical part.
Even so I may not make you literally go out and gather your switch from the Tree, and you probably shouldn’t count on that either, there is the whole torment of awaiting my decision.
Will I deem your choice acceptable and commence with the physical discipline or will I reject it, scold you and make you go and get another while explaining to you exactly in how much deeper of a trouble you now find yourself in? Ah the precious moments of utter mental cruelty that will always keep you on your toes.
What about being made to go to the woodwork shop and make your very own punishment paddle and goodness help you if you didn’t do it right?
In a way that is a variation of the first only now not only do you have to choose wisely, but you actually have to put in the work to create the very tool that will bruise your ass so nicely.
Each step of the process becomes a whimper inducing foreshadowing of what is to come. It’s not a matter of if that wooden paddle will be used on your soft skinned vulnerable ass, but when, how often and how hard.
You want to pay close attention to what you are doing as well. Oh certainly you wouldn’t want to let your lack of focus be the cause that a splinter is suddenly stuck in your arse. You won’t find any mercy from me if it does. Sanding it down to perfection is after all your duty and let’s face it to your eventual benefit.
Now I personally fancy the idea of having your stamp or burn your name into it and supplying it with a hole and cord to hang in a prominent place in the household.
What joy it is to watch you walk past it each time when you even think about giving into the temptation to disobey and disappoint me. It’ll only take a few times of me commanding for you to get your punishment paddle before you have learned the disciplinary lesson of that day. Ah the whimpers, cries and assurances of how you’ll be so much better behaved for me from here on out are music to my ears. Just make sure you are sincere, but we both know where your Paddle hangs.
In either of those cases above there is also the moment when you have to strip down in front of me in order to receive the discipline you so deeply deserve. Peeling off what little protection your clothing allows you before being utterly vulnerable before me.
Knowing that without the barrier of even a flimsy pair of panties or underwear each strike with the tool of discipline will be so much more intense and so much more intimate.
Hesitate too long or attempt to argue your way out of the necessary discipline and I may just decide to make you wet your panties and underwear before administering the reminder of who is in charge here over its wetness. Now not only will you feel the pain of the tool intensely but the sting of humiliation as well.
I do not need to raise my voice my dear nor call you out of your name to make you see the strict love of God reflected in my hand and face. There is a reason I am your Goddess, I am rather skilled at creating good boys and gurls.
Let’s move away from the oh so painful old school punishments and go into the arena of the more mentally forceful options. Putting you into the position of the fool, the dunce, the imbecile without ever naming you such verbally. An experience many won’t forget.
Do you have one come to mind?
What about being put into a corner or other place where people could see you with a dunce hat on your head or any variation of humiliating outfit or signs?
Ah yes, the dunce, a person to be laughed at, pitied by the more tender hearted, pointed at and used for a tale of caution.
Not only is it humiliating that singling out from your peers for your misdeed or foolish misguided speaking out of turn, but it is something that once witnesses you will probably not be able to live down for a time to come. The dunce is iconic in many tales of humiliating tales of discipline. The disgraced fool in the Market Place or in Class Rooms where you had time to contemplate your wayward ways while being put on display as a showpiece of what not to do.
Petticoat Punishments date way back and sadly now days have been put by the wayside. The force feminization of a male via the dressing him in over the top girlish clothing with lots of ruffles, flounces and of course the iconic for women of that time petticoats and corsets laced tight. Silken hose, girlish knickers, shoes that scream girl and more.
Of course that was back in the day when it was a deeply humiliating and embarrassing experience for a boy to be made to dress that way and paraded out to the snickers and laughter of those around him. Back then boys still had a different level of pride and this sissification of his appearance was something that he wanted to avoid as much as possible. “Looking so much like a pretty girl.” Was not a cause for strutting around showing off unless forced to do so back in those days, but something that made you hang your head in shame and work really hard at being worthy of being dressed as the boy you were born as.
Of course a lot of Matrons advices their female offspring to continue on this humiliating and debasing measure of correction with their new young husbands or submissive minded husbands when he didn’t show the proper respect or hard working attitudes required to support his household in the manner SHE deserved. He was a lot less likely to strut around, be a drunkard in the Pups, or attempt to cheat on her or humiliate her with his roaming eyes and hands, when dressed like a female. It was emasculation as a form of discipline and correction long before it became the attention whoring fetish of sissification we see today.
More the pity actually because it was such a lovely way of getting a male to see things in a more female type of way.
Soaping someone’s mouth out was a wonderful and very memorable way of teaching them how to speak politely and mind your verbal manners. It became another rather iconic picture of a woman placing a bar of Ivory Soap or equivalent in the mouth of a verbally disrespectful boy or girl and make them hold it in their mouth for a duration of time while contemplating what got them there or enduring a rather strict and harsh lecture / scolding on the proper social graces when speaking to your betters.
A variation which is a bit more painful and yet just as humiliating is the clothe peg placed firmly on the outstretched tongue for a duration of time which makes it impossible from keeping yourself from drooling helplessly after a time. Not to mention the discomfort you’ll experience both at the application and removal of it.
These days when we think of time out it is not much of a disciplinary action or punishment any longer since all it does is give the person time to think of more mischief. That used to not be that way since time out often came with being put into rather physically straining positions with required your fullest focus so you wouldn’t drop the items or lose your balance. Something that would have been cause for a much harsher and more painful punishment. Go ahead try and hold out a fully loaded Tea Tray in front of your body for about 20 minutes and see just how difficult that is. In many cases dressed fully as a servant girl again bringing another now Fetish into existence.
Line writing and knuckle rapping was something you saw frequently in Schools and Households. You may scoff at the simplicity of this at first until you have to sit on your desk or stand by the blackboard writing a single sentence 100’s of time in beautiful penmanship and without a single error. Fail to do so and your knuckles were rapped with a wooden ruler. The same went for having ink on your fingers since it showed that you didn’t value the money spend on your writing equipment back then.
Scrubbing the Bathrooms and especially the Toilets when someone had a naughty mouth was not unheard of either. Now then off course you still used a lot of elbow grease to get the job done and once finished the white glove inspection by the LADY of the house was not something you wanted to fail.
Lucky enough to have servants in the house? Not so lucky when a young man forgot his place and hassled the female help. These women were paid by the Lady of the House to do work not be playthings for the young “Master”. If he wouldn’t mind his manners and remembered his place in a household in which the women traditionally ruled that Domain it was not uncommon to have the Housekeeper and Cook put him over a chair or make him bend over to grab his ankles while using a cane or other strap to educate him about proper behavior towards those hard working women.. Always with the Lady of the House present and overseeing the correction aka HER full approval.
Oh yes, I sure enjoy those old time disciplinary actions and I find it a bit sad really that so many have gone by the wayside now. It was a wonderful tool to build character and remind a male of his place and that respect towards women is not optional but a given.
A strong female hand often made a difference in how the grown man would behave later on down the line. Those were disciplinary actions you would never forget and learned to wish to avoid.
Goddess Bella Donna
Toxic Situations and Relationships
a bit of real talk!
Sometimes you can’t get out no matter how much you want to!
I had to think really long and hard if I really wanted to post this here on an Adult Blog, but considering this is a Topic that is very important and millions of Adults find themselves in I decided to break my silence and slap some illusions in the face here.
For the time it takes you to read this post I want you to set aside your prejudice on this topic and just read what I have to say.
I hope that you will never personally find yourself in the situation(s) I am about to bring up and that you’ll always be able to extract yourself from Toxic Situations and Relationships, but I want to point out that for a lot of people it’s not possible without outside help or at all.
It’s easy to talk big when you don’t know the circumstances that really surround someone in that situation and it is even harder when that person cannot reach out for help out of fear to make things even worse on them . Yes that can be an issue.
I am asking you to not make this about discrimination in any way shape or form because it is not meant to be. I am in no way trying to play down any other groups but I do need to point out some realities that so many of you either don’t realize or just don’t want to see as truth.
Be aware that I am dropping the mantel of FemDom / Mistress / Disciplinarian etc and come at you purely as a regular everyday woman. I am talking to you here as “Just Regina” and I am not pointing any fingers at anyone.
This is just a topic that really needs to be brought to the light of day and talked about, because it is our ignorance, our foolish need to think that only one type of person matters and that there is always a way to escape something that is slowly crushing you under it’s weight.
I want to point out to you that in the end we are all the same, and that there is no privileged group or gender when it comes to this type of thing to happen.
So again please hear me out and thank you for your patients. (Forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes I might make, because I won’t go back to edit it or I may lose MY COURAGE to bring this out there. If you have to ask me why that is you are not paying attention.)
Bad things happen to good people. It is not always something they have done to put themselves into a specific situation. Illnesses, Emergencies that can’t be avoided, Tragedy that strikes, are all things that can be utterly devastating to someone and wipe them out completely within the snap of a finger. Life is no respecter of “Titles” or of anything else. It really doesn’t care how good of a person you are or if you have done everything in the world you can possibly do in order to be self-sufficient and never become a burden on anyone.
I think it is fair to say that the majority of human beings don’t enjoy having to ask for help. Most of us want to take care of ourselves and oh so many have done a lot of things in their life they may not even have been proud of just to survive and not have to lean on someone else.
These types of things can strike anyone at any time and very often we struggle so much to get out of it ourselves that by the time we are forced to ask for help we are already literally drowning in the toxic Situation we find ourselves in.
We so often assume that everyone but ourselves is able to get help easily or that they are privileged in some foolish way just because we see them as a group rather then an individual. Nothing could be further from the truth and I could fill book after book with stories from people who are living proof. Your race, your age, your gender, does not protect you from bad things happening and being tossed aside by those you thought hold you dear and were your friends or a system that is supposed to be there to catch you when you fall.
In some situation as I said it is impossible to reach out for help publicly because it would carry extensive repercussions in the long run.
Sexworkers (all of them – male, female, trans, etc) for one are often seen and treated even up to this day as dredges of society. When they reach out to groups who are supposedly there to help you they often get ignored or ridiculed unless they can be used as a Poster Child to further a cause. We all have seen this in action and it made many of us sick.
If you happen to be a Mistress (any title will do here) and you have to confess that you are on the ground and can’t get out of a horrible situation that is making it unable for you to even work and continue on, you are laughed at, ridiculed and told that you can’t be a real Mistress because a real Mistress is always in charge of her own life.
I will make one statement to that – You trying to tell that one to pesky little things like Cancer, Heart Attacks, advanced Diabetes, crippling Depression, Car Crashes that leave you unable to work, and hundreds of other things we have ZERO control over. Do you really think any of those things care if you are a Mistress or the person next door? I don’t know about you, but it never gave a damn when it happened to me.
What about being undocumented in a Country with no way to become legalized because the law is against you on every front and you had to break the law just in order to survive. Do you realize that if you work in any capacity while being undocumented it is considered a Felony and a huge strike against you? Do you realize that if you are in the adult industry and try to legalize they come at you with “morality”? I have known thousands of women personally who were brought into this Country by men they thought loved them and had their papers stolen. Had Children with those men and ended up being forced into the Business because that was the only way they could feed them-selves and their kids? I even met a few men who were in the same position with a gay partner and couldn’t reach out for help, because once you are in that situation you are not the victim but the criminal in the eyes of the law.
These women who have Children won’t risk angering those who hold them under control or go to the authority because they do have to fear being deported. This women come in all races and it doesn’t only effect refugees either. Many men and women from European Countries and Russia are not as heavily represented as those from others. They don’t have those huge groups of support behind them. They are truly left to their own devices.
I have known women personally who have went to Immigration lawyers to seek help and get legalized only to be told AFTER 9 / 11 happened that if they even tried to gain status they would face deportation and to just lay low. That’s the reality.
Human Trafficking isn’t as black and white as you think. It’s not always what you assume it is either. We talk about the horror of slavery in the past and OH MY GOSH it was horrific, but it is still happening these days. WE are just not aware of it.
When we talk about BDSM enslavement it is a far thing removed from actually being enslaved to a situation you can’t get out of.
Let’s step back so and do something less drastic but just as devastating.
People stuck in a toxic Relationship because they are depended on their partner to be a caregiver or because they have Children together and can’t afford to raise them on their own. Because living that relationship would mean losing your children.
Being so deep in debt as a couple that you have to stay together just to make ends meet and put food on your table even so the emotional and mental interactions brought on by stress now has become abusive. Sometimes you really can’t walk away and it cripples your ability to work.
What about FEAR? We always assume that everyone has the amazing network of support, but look around you. Have you ever been forced to walk away with literally nothing in the middle of the night with nobody there to help you? I know people who have. Many of them ended up on the Street homeless because they had nobody to help them.
What about fear physically of being destroyed. If someone sees you as their property is and is an abusive personality they are not just going to let you walk away from them. Yes those types of people are really out there. Seen that too with my own two eyes with several people and in that case the women or men are too afraid to leave.
What about having been mentally abused all their life to a point that they no longer see themselves as worthy of a better life? You have no idea how many people out there have lived through YEARS of abuse and neglect and that is all they know now. It’s not as easy as you think to get over that and an extended period of overwhelming stress can bring it back to you.
What about being too old to start over again? Oh yes that is happening more than you think. The older you are the harder it is to get a job these days. Not all relationships started out bad, they turned toxic over time and then you are dealing with loyalty and honor. You feel honor bond to stay with that person especially when you have been with them for a lot of years. I am not talking about 3 or 4 years but 15 – 20 – 25 and more. You know you need to get away, but you feel obligated and you remember the good times and so you stay. Hoping they will come back, trying to make it work, but by the time you realize they never will only death will be your way out.
Finally HUMAN NATURE and judging someone by their background. You may climb your way out of the Shit that you were born into, but it only takes one person to set out to destroy you and dig it up and suddenly you find yourself once again fighting for survival. Why? Because all too many people are focusing on where you came from rather then where you are going.
WE have 100’s of affirmations that we spout every day to encourage us to get out of bad toxic situations, but that is just what they are… Words of affirmations…. YOu still have to be able to do it and sometimes you just can’t do it on your own.
So don’t be so quick to judge and don’t assume the person (whoever they are) did this to themselves or are happy being in distress. Don’t assume that the super strong person you see online feeding you an illusion isn’t struggling to keep their shit together. Don’t ever assume anything and if someone finally breaks and asks you for help, don’t be a bitch and turn your back on them, because guess what you might be next.
Thank you for reading.
Regina – The lady behind the Title.
Selective service and tributing
A little blunt talk by Goddess Bella Donna
The moment you begin with telling me what you are willing to tribute towards and how you will serve me (we are not talking about hard limits here) you have just stepped out of being a submissive or slave and into being a fetish client.
Now there is nothing wrong with being a fetish client at all, but it’s a thing far removed from being a submissive or a slave. The dynamic changes, the interactions change, the time spend with you and the effort put into you changes. Oh and loves, you don’t get more, you get less. Matter of fact you ONLY get what you literally have paid for and the price may just triple because of your attitude.
Most of the males I interact with in some form or the other are fetishists. The percentage of how many males a Lady like myself interacts with depends on the individual. For me, these days, it’s roughly 96% fetishists and 4% actual sub or slave material.
Read that carefully. I said sub or slave material not submissive to or enslaved by me. The thing is that just because someone carries the spark in them doesn’t mean you and them will be a good match or that they are not just hanging around looking for attention even so they are beholden to someone else, which makes them automatically off limits for anything more than paid counseling chat to me. In that case I step purely into the role of the Advisor or emotional lifecoach / counselor if they approach me and I do get paid for that service.
Males have a tendency to try to control things, which is ironic especially when they come to a FemDom or Disciplinarian for interaction and a session. It’s ironic because supposedly you are seeking to give up said control and experience what it is like to have decision taken away from you and be controlled in a way that she enjoys.
It’s a complete oxymoron in action.
Instead of however actually letting go and experiencing what it is you supposedly seek after a bit of an “interview chat” in which I will find out your hard limits, your limits, your enjoyments – fetish and kink interests, and your actual experience level, you still insist on trying to control as much as you can get away with in the session itself.
Now that may go to “Topping from the Bottom” or “sub leading” behavior. It’s not giving feedback or answering questions that are designed throughout the session to test your threshold of what you can take, nor is is it the typical and healthy aftercare feedback chat you will have with a submissive or slave in training.
Selective Service and selective tributing is no different.
The essence of SERVING is to do something in an utterly selfless manner without it being required to arouse you in any way in order to delight, bring pleasure (not always sexual), amuse and ease the life of the Mistress / Goddess / Queen etc you wish to serve. Being OF USE TO HER and knowing that you have made her life easier and more pleasurable IS THE REWARD in itself. It should feed a need inside of you that is present in actual slaves and submissives.
Before you ask what is the difference between a slave and a submissive.
To me personally I classify it as such.
A slave is mentally and emotionally enslaved, obedient, desiring to be of use and service, and fulfilled by being under the control of his / her Mistress / Goddess / Queen etc at all times. He doesn’t need to be physically aroused in order to be that way. She does not need to stand over him / her 24/7 a day, but can depend on her will being done and her best interest being of highest priority to the slave at all times. The slave does not serve purely on his or her own whim, when it is convenient or only in ways that he / she enjoys. As long as it doesn’t break any hard limits or personal agreements between Mistress / slave, the slave will provide service in any manner ordered, desired, mentioned, hinted at etc. A well trained slave is a pure treasure in the Crown of the Goddess and does not require constant hand holding, micro-managing or being forced to obey. He / she does it because it is the natural thing to do for them. It completes them and gives them purpose.
A submissive more often then not is more motivated to obedience when he is in the mood for it. A lot of what we call “Weekend – Warriors” are submissive or only submissive in the bedroom. They are not as deeply controlled as a slave and retain a larger amount of “rights” over their own actions and behaviors even within the D/s dynamic. Most of the time you will see or experience them “feeling submissive” when they are in the mood rather then being submissive regardless of the mood. I consider them to be slave light versions.
A fetishist in most cases simply plays at being submissive and usually only in the areas that entices them and when it is convenient to them and they are aroused. For them it is more about selfishly pursuing their experiences in the various kinks and fetishes they want to explore or enjoy, then making it about the Lady whom they are temporarily kneeling to. This is the majority of the males and even females you will encounter in the Fetish Communities these days. It’s a short term roleplay interaction from which both sides will walk away from after the session is over. Flat out and blunt it is pure pay to play interaction especially online.
It’s important to understand that concept and distinction since it will serve to keep a lot of heartache, disillusionment, and misunderstandings at bay. Especially as a Mistress / Goddess / Queen / Disciplinarian it is important that you know what type of male you are dealing with so you do not fall for the illusion of the interaction.
Selective service and tributing is never ok!
I am not talking about doing something that is a hard limit for you. We shouldn’t even need to bring that up. That’s common sense. Hard limits are just that – hard limits. However that doesn’t mean you get to pick and choose which service you provide for Me outside of hard limit land.
If I desire for it to be done, it needs to be done and done properly. That’s what you are there for. To delight me, to please me, so serve me in the ways I prefer to be served, and it’s an honor for you to be allowed to do so. You confuse play time or scene time with servitude all too often. Play time or scene time is about both of us to indulge in our kinky nature and have fun. SERVICE is purely about giving Me what I want. By the way you don’t get play time or scene time without SERVING me first. You earn that, you are a slave.
Tributing is the same way. Giving someone a gift they didn’t ask for or won’t find enjoyment in, or you do exactly the opposite of what you were told is preferred or a priority, then you didn’t make it about Me but about yourself.
For example if I say I want my new laptop as a priority gift because this is something I actually need right now in order to continue running my business and you decide that I should have 5 pairs of shoes instead because you are foot and shoe bitch, you didn’t buy it for me but yourself. It turned you on to buy those shoes, instead of realizing that at the moment the laptop was a lot more beneficial to me. I always mark my amazon wishlist with priorities so you can see what is the most important gift(s) on the list that I prefer and actually want / need the most right now.
Ever so often I hear things like: Oh Goddess I adore you so much but I rather not tribute cash to you (even so I make it clear that this is MY preferred way of tributes and gifts since I can use it in any way I DESIRE!) but I’ll buy you a gift or send you a gift card (to whatever store he things I should buy from). Can you see where this is no longer about ME and what I WANT? He is making decisions that are about his preferences rather then adoring me and begifting me. If the gift or tribute is truly for Me and about Me, you give Me what I want and prefer, not what you prefer.
Now don’t get me wrong darlings, that is actually a mistake most people make even in regular vanilla life. They buy and give gifts to someone because they like it and just figure since they like so will the other person. It’s human nature and that is also why so many women make a joke about this so often. When it comes to men giving gifts they are usually pretty clueless unless told exactly what you want. Hey best case scenerio I just tell you how much it will cost, have you give me the money for it and then go get it myself.
You have been taught that this is a heartless way of gift giving, but to me it’s the only guaranteed way I actually get what I want. So I prefer it that way, and you should too.
The core essence primary priority for a slave or sub is to make ME happy!
Look boys and sissies, that is one of the wonderful things about being enslaved by, in service to, under the control of a Goddess and Disciplinarian like myself. It’s really easy to get it right as long as you simply do what you have been told.
There is no guess work involved since unlike so many regular vanilla women (which always drives you guys nuts when they do that) there is no beating around the bush and heehaawig about what I want, how I want it, when I want it and in which progression I want it done. I take the guess work out of things for you, take control, make the decisions and all you have to do is listen, pay attention and obey. Get it done, do it right the way I declared and you have one happy Goddess looking down at you with great benevolence in her heart. Isn’t that the ultimate goal for you all?
Remember this always – A happy Goddess is a playful and generous Goddess with attention too!
I am a divine woman, a wonderful Disciplinarian, a deeply strict but caring Queen, but no matter what I am still human as well. That means if I am constantly being annoyed by disobedience, am stressed out because I just have entirely too much on my plate to take care of, have to worry about whatever normal human beings worry about, then the last thing on my mind is giving you attention, playing with you, conditioning you, training you etc.
Even a Goddess has only so much Energy and the more I have to use up for all those other things because you are not doing what you claimed you wanted to do for me – serve me, provide for what I want, need, desire etc (Yes that is actually what good boys and sissies due for their lady so stop with the BS), then I just have nothing left for you.
You literally become obsolete to me. If I have to do it all by myself or pay for it all by myself and out of my pocket, then what are you good for? You are just another chore or burden at that point. Just something else I have to get around to doing. Is that really how I should feel about you, or shouldn’t you be the light of my day and someone I gt to look forward to interacting with because you have done well for Me?
I’ll leave you with that for the day. Think about it.
My Birthday is on April 8th and if you come here to learn from my insights or to find arousal, wisdom etc in my words then show me that you are worthy of my time and appreciate me.
Buy me a gift of my Wishlist. Look what I want the most or need the most and do the best for within your budget limit.
Want to make me really happy then send me a cash tribute instead. You can send a giftrocket to email@example.com (make it out to anywhere), send me a tribute via www.niteflirt.com/GoddessBellaDonna or use this link to send me a tribute.
There you go, lots of different options and that means no excuses why you can’t do something nice for Me on my special day. Oh and no, sending me a Birthday gift doesn’t make you a paypig instantly, it makes you someone who knows how to be appreciative. Something I personally adore and take notice of.
Goddess Bella Donna