This is a mature ADULT only Blog Site!
What does that mean to you?
This post as well as the footer section below is
“Sticky”, “in your face”, and “impossible to ignore”!
This is a for mature Adults Blog site only, which means that in order to be here, stay here, partake of any of the professional services offered by me, purchase any of the content available by me, or even just browse around, look around, skippy doo dah around on here, you have to agree to and verify the correctness of the following statements directly below here and just in case you ever want to “forget that you agreed to them” can find them in a bold reminder in the FOOTER section of this Blog!
Please read carefully and take them serious! Thank you!
#1 I agree to and certify that I am of or older than the legal age of 21 years upon time of entering Goddess Bella Donna’s Website www.paymepiggy.com
#2 I agree to and certify that I understand the nature of ADULT ENTERTAINMENT Content especially Fetishes,
Femdom, BDSM, and Financial Domination and am NOT offended by it.
#3 I agree to and certify that I do NOT suffer from any type of mental condition that prohibits me by law to enter into any type of Contract with another Person or prohibits me from giving consent. I am mentally able and legally permitted to give consent and make adult decisions for myself.
#4 I agree to and understand that this Website offers services, Content for sale, and Media that can be considered highly offensive, politically incorrect, and may use speech in keeping with and for fetish humiliation only purposes including but not limited to: racial, body type, religious, gender, sexual preferences, or any other possibly sensitive topics. I certify by entering into Goddess Bella Donna’s Website www.paymepiggy.com that I am not sensitive, offended or otherwise mentally disturbed by humiliation and use of slurs in those fetish topic fields. Yes, thank you, I know the difference between a fetish humiliation and a point of view and am not bothered by it.
#5 I agree to and certify that I will respect all copyright laws and will not copy, duplicate, resell, republish, or otherwise spread the content (intellectual property of Goddess Bella Donna) without prior written consent by Goddess Bella Donna.
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#7 I agree to and certify that I am Not prohibited by State, Country, National or Regional Law to enter this Adult only Website.
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(I am seriously sorry I have to put this on here darlings, but sign of the times!)
#9 I agree to and understand that Goddess Bella Donna reserved the right to refuse Me service, direct contact, or sales of content if I behave in a way unbecoming of a mature adult; she suspects I have given false statement as to my Age upon entry of this site, and I do understand that if I should attempt to use fraudulent means of paying for services or products such as stolen credit cards, Identities or Credit Cards used without permission of the Credit Card Holder I will be blocked from further contact and reported. This is a NO tolerance zone for such illegal activities.
#10 I agree and verify that I have READ and AGREED TO ALL of the points above and that they are
statements of truth pertaining to me. By remaining on this Blog / Site I contest to this Statement and consider this my electronic signature of Adult CONSENT.
Please read them all again carefully so you understand what you are agreeing to and where you are. By remaining on this blog you have just certified that you are over 21 years of age and agreed to all the statements above.
I have now done everything humanly possible to stay within and gone above and beyond what I can do to assure that only those who are legal, and not offended by what I offer should be here. Now it’s on you.
Click read: My Privacy and Zero Harassment tolerated policy
Goddess Bella Donna
Oh the mystical humiliating Friend Zone that you guys have somehow managed to turn into something different and totally sexualized in your sweet if somewhat cum addled little minds.
I have to laugh so hard when I read or hear about the “Friend Zone” and the sexual torment it brings to you poor sweet darlings. The desperation you feel for her and the fantasies you conjure up around her, her with other men, and of course the explosive sexually charged way it would be if only she’d give you a chance to get into her panties.
Lordy be, you guys sure have an imagination to rival my own and I am not saying that part is a bad thing, because it sure makes me chuckle when you pay me on Niteflirt to tell me all your poor cock blocked woes, or is that pussy blocked I always mix those two up for some reason. No I am pretty sure it’s your cock she is blocking from getting into her.
Isn’t it funny how you always want what you can’t have? Human nature I guess, but the force of “woe is me she won’t fuck me” is really strong in you isn’t it buttercup?
Of course then on the other end of the stick are those among you guys who are constantly whining because I won’t let you be “my friend” which in your world seems to translate to “eligible for a booty call” and “free pussy for being a nice guy”.
Let me tell you a little bit something about the Friend Zone and just how lucky you would be for me to consider you my friend. Something most of you would never even achieve to begin with, because I am pretty darn picky of whom I befriend and allow that deeply into my confidence and into my life.
First of all the Friend Zone is not a “no-man’s land” where only the losers in the lottery of life are being delegated to, but a place of honor in my life because I only place people in it with whom I even feel a connection at all and enjoy being around. Translation – Losers may not apply, because I prefer intelligent, interesting, fun to talk to, and fun to hang out with people. I have yet to meet a person whom I consider a Loser that has any of those qualifications. I usually do an “about face” and walk away from them while leaving them standing there holding their dicks. You don’t even get into the friend zone.
Second – I actually spend time with those I consider friends and have many fun times with them. They get to know me on a level that you can’t even imagine and I them. There is pretty much nothing we can’t joke about and talk about, oh and if I consider you my friend I am very protective over you. So there is that.
Third – Most of the people who are lucky enough to be in MY Friend Zone or group of friends are actually women, couples and a very select few men whom I consider as something akin as my brothers. Neither of us see each other in a sexual way. Which means I often know and meet their Wife or Girlfriend as well. There is a measure of platonic love between us!
Fourth – I actually trust you! Oh boy that is a big one! There is very little I wouldn’t do for and give to my friends. To me friendship is something that endures through a lot of shit. My friends in general are really awesome people in their own that may like sex but actually have a lot of other interests aside from that. They are able to keep it in their pants or panties and don’t need to let the bird fly every few minutes.
Fifth – Friends help one another out. Not something I would ever do with you obviously.
Six – You know all those horny little Fetish Chats you constantly want for free and I make you pay me for? Yup I have them with a lot of my friends both male and female. You know why? Because I actually want to talk to them about it because they have something other then heavy panting and jerk off moves to offer to me. ALL of my actual friends know what I do and they actually respect me, unlike you who just wants an excuse to get off for free and thinks using me to do so is ok. Spoiler Alert – it isn’t.
Seven – My friends don’t want to fuck me either! They are attracted to me for something completely different and so am I to them. Oh and yes, we actually have had those conversations before too just to make sure we are all on the same page. There are no “hurt feelings” and “pining for the pussy” from my male friends. They aren’t desperate little bitch boys who can’t get a woman of their own.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I hold my friends actually in pretty high regards. I respect them, care about them, even love them in a completely non-sexual way, and feel 150% comfortable around them. I am a cheerleader for their relationship with their special Lady not a threat to her. Imagine that, which means she can become my friend too and be comfortable with it. The Friend Zone is a No-pressure – keep the drama to a minimum – zone in my life. That is the Zone I go to when I want to be around someone I can just relax with and chill.
So don’t worry baby cakes, you are safe, I’ll never Friend Zone you, because Sugar Pie you really don’t qualify.
There see… problem solved. You are so very welcome. Anything else I can put into perspective for you BOY?
Goddess Bella Donna
Don’t confuse serving Me with fetishizing Me!
If you truly want to serve Me and be My slave
you got to get to know Me the person!
Do you see the picture and how blurry it is? I have chosen this particular image for a reason today. To me it illustrates what it’s like when someone who claims to want to serve me only cares about my kinky, fetish, how will it turn them on nature – aka fetishizing me.
They get a pretty good outline of me and can make out some of what I am like, but it’s at best blurry and they are missing some of the most important details that will allow them to actually understand the woman they are wishing to serve.
It’s enough to turn them on, give them a reason to desperately jerk off and pretend that they are in front of me as my slave, but that is all. In the end, they do not care enough to invest their time into learning about the non-fetish, non-kinky, non-adult-only aspects that are just as much a large part of my being. They are missing the big and most important picture. The human being who drives this kinky bus.
Now I want to be fair here, I try to be as fair as possible whenever I can, and bring up the point that in many cases online it is very hard for men to get to know the women behind the exalted Titles, because for whatever personal reasons (often safety) the majority of Mistresses do not share their vanilla life with the masses. That makes it hard for those rare men among you who want to have a deeper connection and understanding of the woman they admire and wish to serve to get to “know her”.
I also know from personal experience that most so called online slaves will run once the Mistress or Goddess is “demystified” and they realize that even so she stands above them, she is still a normal human being with flaws, feelings, worries, fears, quirks, and all the other fabulous stuff that comes with being a human being.
I am the first one to admit that women in general can be pretty darn quirky, complex as fuck, frustrating to try to figure out with our hormones swinging monthly, and hell even I think sometimes we are just this side of a little crazy. I’ve been alive and around way too long to buy into this “all women are perfect” BS that you keep either trying to feed yourself or are being spoon-fed. We are no more perfect then you are, we are just simply different and have things to offer which you are still having problems with being born male
I often think that what makes us appear “weak” are often times our biggest strength in the long run. WE have a unique approach in how we handle things and how we pick the moments when we will address certain things has always mystified men from the beginning of time.
Now I am one of those women who are not “just” a Mistress, but a motivational writer, an unlicensed life-coach, a mentor and many other things that require for me to be open about who and what I am as well. I am fortunate enough to not have to hide behind a facade to keep myself safe, I can’t be blackmailed by ignorant fools about being exposed to my family and friends or Boss – because first of all they all know what I do and I am my own Boss. I am not fearful of being looked down upon by people as immoral or broken that don’t even know me, nor any of the other million reasons why women keep themselves hidden and secret. I am an open book and I share what I am willing for you to know about me whenever I may choose.
Matter of fact, over the years I have had several different non-adult blogs and just recently felt led to begin another in which you can get to know me – not as a Mistress, FemDom or sexworker – but as just another normal everyday human being. The woman that is behind the title and this will give you a lot more insight into me and why I do things the way I do and think the way I think, then you’d ever get from this adult only blog..
When a male approaches me on Skype or any other option and claims he wants to serve me, I always ask him how he found me and if he bothered with researching me first. The majority of the time, at best they may have read one or two of my blog posts, and / or bought some of my fetish content for sale. That isn’t researching me and that is not taking the time to form a bigger picture about me to see if I am even the type of woman they could handle serving.
I always send them away with the following.
Unless you are just here to pay for a fetish session and then depart again, you need to put in some effort first and read up on me before approaching. I take a lot of time to allow you boys to see who I am and what I am about, this takes away the excuse of “can I get to know you first?” I already gave that to you before you ever asked. Now it is your turn to reach for it. Come back when you did so.
Take a guess of how many return. Maybe 1 or 2 out of 200. Why? Because it takes an actual submissive and slave minded soul to want to put that much work in first before it goes into what they want and are looking for. You darlings weed yourself out by being dishonest about what you are really looking for.
If you want to be my slave and serve me, then you need to be interested in me as a human being as well and get to know me on that end a little bit. You may find that I am too intense, too deep, too straight forward, and too filled with life-experiences then you can handle.
I am 47 years old, I would have had to live under a rock not to be that way. Which means that naturally I am looking for and am only accepting a submissive or slave who can deal with that and enjoys being controlled by a woman who is a lot more then just the sum of her body parts and fetishes.
Visit www.flawedtreasures.com and get to know Me the woman behind the title a little. Bookmark it, check back often because I’ll be writing there a lot more then on here. I am going to import some of my older post from other blogs as well so you can find them in one place.
Welcome to MY world, MY realm and MY life, because darlings they are all the same.
Goddess Bella Donna
The Hallway and 50 Wacks with the cane!
My Journey in BDSM by Goddess Bella Donna
In the last post I led you up to my entry into the Training Dungeon and introduced my two Mentors / Trainers a little to you. What I didn’t mention was that I didn’t physically meet either of them until all the discussions and the contract was in place.
Matter of fact I was given a last option to back out before the Head Mistress went to get my male Trainer who ended up a different male then she originally choose. I guess you could say he “claimed” me, as he later was fond to say, because he saw something in me that I didn’t even realized was there. It’s a good thing too, because the one she originally picked was a douche I came to disdain in the long run during the few interactions we had.
Anyway, I was told that if I was sure I wanted to do this, I was to strip naked, fold my clothe neatly and place them in a basket by her desk. I was to kneel and keep my head down while she went to get him. I was instructed not to look up when the door opened and that I was not allowed to look at anyone without permission first. My gaze was to be firmly on the ground before me and that I was to listen to the instructions given to me.
Sounds simple right? Yeah until you have to actually do it. Here is the thing. She was only gone for maybe 5 minutes, but that was long enough for me to imagine all kinds of worst case scenarios, doubt to creep in, worry about my family whom I would be separated from for a while, and debate my own sanity.
Stripping on stage when I was able to see the people in front of me was one thing, but now suddenly stripping down and kneeling without the ability to “see” made me feel scared and vulnerable. I had no idea what this guy would be like, was he sane? Yes, all those thoughts went through my mind and remember I had already seen the darker side of “men” in my business and knew just how “brutal” some could get when they didn’t get their way.
So all those things went through my mind in a quick succession and triggered the natural flight or fight instinct in most human beings. Oh I knelt alright, but my back was stiff, my muscles taunt and I was ready to jump up and fight if I needed to. So not submissive or bottom material lol. There was nothing arousing for me about this whole situation, at least not physically. Mentally however I was already starting to become intrigued. I think that, more then anything and the hunger to learn, is what kept me there.
The door opened and I heard two sets of foot steps. One the click clack of high heels (the Head Mistress) and the other a heavier set made by male boots. I heard him walking up behind me and watched as her high heels walked around the desk to be seated. Take a guess what I did…
Yup you guessed it… I tried to look up. Natural reaction and I got a firm smack over the back of my head for it too.
“You were told to keep your head down!” the male behind me said and DAMN that voice. Dark, smooth and filled with command. No screaming, screeching, posturing. Just a simple disciplinary action and a command.
They commenced to discuss different things above my head and of course I tried to look up several times when I thought they weren’t paying attention, and each time I had the back of my head smacked for it. Not hard, but hard enough to make me realize he meant business. When they started talking about me I fumed.
I hate it when people talk about me as if I am not there in the room and of course I started crumbling about it.
At some point I said something along the line of “Ignorant Asshole, I am right here!” to which I hear a chuckle from behind me and “Well looks like it’s time to begin. She needs to learn some do’s and don’ts. Excuse us!”
With that he pushed his knee into my back (to get my attention), snapped his fingers at me, ordered me to get on my hands and knees and follow. I was instructed to keep my head down, my eyes on the heels of his boots and keep up.
With that he opened the door and strode out, not even paying attention if I would obey his orders and follow. “First lesson – A Dom/me expects the orders to be carried out naturally and isn’t going to wait around to see if you do or badger you into them. You either follow them or you don’t.”
With a heavy, put upon sigh, while silently cursing myself I did. Now here is where I learned about some of the simplest things apparently being the hardest. Ever try crawling naked on a Stone Floor and trying to keep up with someone who is walking at his own pace, in an unfamiliar environment and low lighting? Give it a shot, not as easy as you think.
When I slowed down because my knees were getting sore quickly (stone floor) he didn’t stop but told me over his shoulder. “I am not used to being kept waiting and I am not going to slow down for you. Push through it!”
Have you noticed he never called me by my name either? I was an “it” at this point. I had no name.
Yup that was hard to swallow when I realized that one. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to show some respect. Roars in laughter in hindsight.
This Hallways was a lesson in frustration and humility more then humiliation really. Taught perfectly without much fuss. I was never forced to continue on, I could have turned around and said I changed my mind, but this was what I had come here for. I wanted to learn to do what he was doing, take charge and control without … what exactly? Well that was what I was here to discover wasn’t it?
The first door we entered was to part of his “personal Suite” of rooms and it was a Dungeon room. I didn’t get to look around until later, but for now he walked up to a St. Andrews Cross and bade me stand up facing it.
I did and then I felt his gloved hands adjusting my legs and bringing up my hands to grasp the D-Rings that I could reach. Nope he didn’t tie me up. He simple told me not to move and to accept my punishment for my disrespect and disobedience.
This one was about punishment and seeing what I could take and how I’d react. I know that now, back then I had no idea. Matter of fact it looked a lot like abuse to me. So yes I can understand perfectly how vanilla people can mistake it like that from the outside looking in. Just remember I could have moved away at any given time. I was just bond by his command which is why he did it.
A cane will hurt and depending what kind of cane you use and the intensity with which you apply force can go from medium pain to extreme. Add to this that I had an untried ass and soft flesh,,,, well I think you get the point.
He started out pretty light but after a while he switched canes and did heavier strokes after my flesh heated up. He never broke skin but my ass felt like it was on fire and bleeding. A mental trick that happens when the blood comes to the surface.
50 Wacks to my ass and he was careful to where he hit and how he patterned them. These days I would admire the artistry of it, then I just screamed in pain after about the 19th one… LOL what a lightweight I was.
Now pay attention to this. I SCREAMED – I didn’t cry. The screams were as much ANGER AND FRUSTRATION, as they were pain induced. He had me count them off and told me that if I missed a number he’d start over.
When he was done I literally dropped to the ground. My knees were shaking from forcing myself to stay in place and stay upright.
He had me crawl after him to his Bed Chamber and there made me lay face down on his bed. I still had not seen his face or his body. Just his boots and up to his knees
He went to get a healing salve which he applied to my welted and bruised ass, and that is when I began to cry. Big heart stopping sobs. He turned me over and made me sit up…. OUCHHHHHHHHH and that is when I saw him for the first time.
He wrapped me up in a hug and gently rubbed my back, murmuring something I didn’t hear into my hair until I stopped crying and hiccuping.
When I was done he set next to me and asked
“You are not used to kindness are you?”
I responded with…
“Why do you ask? What makes you think so?”
His answer was illuminating in it’s simplicity.
“Because while I inflicted pain you screamed but never cried. Crying along with the screams would have been a natural reaction for most people. You didn’t let go on that level, screaming was easier for you. But when I showed you a measure of kindness it broke you lose. That tells me you are used to pain, but not to someone caring about you.”
I’ll leave you all with that for now. Think about it.
Next time I continue I’ll tell you about learning to undress him and meeting the submissive Goddesses, plus another very important lesson that hit home.
Goddess Bella Donna
How it all began for me!
BDSM experienced on a human level memories
by Goddess Bella Donna
I am going to take you back with me to the year 1992. The year when I first entered into BDSM as a complete and utter novice. It was a different time back then and much has changed over the years.
I lay no claim on being a “Sandbox Mistress”, nor was I the “mean girl in school”. Matter of fact I was about as vanilla as they came and what I call rather fetish ignorant.
That is not to say that I didn’t have natural personality trades that ended up shaping them-selves into the female Dominant I realized I was, but during those days I wasn’t focused on anything to do with BDSM, Fetishes and Kinks, nor did I read or watch pornography. I know surprising in this day and age, but my life up to this point was all about education, raising a family, earning an income the best I could to survive.
I was already in the Sex Industry when I had my first real introduction to the kinky world I am a long-standing part of now, but I was in it as an Exotic Dancer, a Burlesque Dancer and when necessary an Escort. By then I had already worked as a Private Dancer (women you hired for companionship and to literally dance with) as well. I had my first short experience as a phonesex operator which was call centers in those days only, but that didn’t last long the first go around That’s a story for another day so.
The point I am making was that human sexuality was nothing new to me and I wasn’t a prude by any means, but I was firmly in the vanilla sector of the Business with no time or inclination for “dirty films and stories”. I was a doer not a watcher.
It was actually a submissive man whom I had done a “public scolding / humiliation / manners training” on without even knowing what it was I was doing while working in a Strip Club in Iowa of all places who opened my mind and world up to what would end up becoming a huge part of my life and personality.
It took a few months just learning with him and a lot from him about what it was that was waiting to emerge inside of me, before I realized that I had a burning hunger and need to learn more and discover for myself what this wide world was. For me, safety in all things was always a big thing no matter what I was doing, and I quickly realized and understood that here was an area of human sexuality in which I could inflict a lot of harm if I didn’t know what I was doing.
Sounds hokey to many these days, but yes you can harm a submissive or bottom if you don’t understand the physical, mental and emotional aspects of what it is you put them through.
I wanted and needed to understand and for that I needed a safe environment with people who had a lot of experience already and knew what this was all about.
So I started putting out some feelers, Jim the submissive male I was talking about and who by now had become my first submissive client, put me in contact with some people and vouched for me (yes back then you needed references), and they put me in contact with someone else until I finally was in contact with a private “Training Dungeon” where I would be able to learn what I needed to satisfy my need for understanding.
It took several phone conversations with the “Head Mistress” or “Dungeon Mother”, before I was invited to come and speak to her in person. No I never had to send a picture to show how hot I was or if I fit a cookie cutter image of what a Mistress looks like. That was not important there. They were a lot more interest in my mental capacity, sanity and yes willingness to learn.
This particular Dungeon was 75% Lifestylers and 25% Professional. Both Mistresses as well as Masters, and of course Sadists as well. Yes there is a distinction and one I ceased on quickly. After some negotiations and discussions I was told that it was their rule that it had to be total submergence and the training would be from the bottom up.
Meaning I had to endure the “receiving and serving” side before I would be taught to do it to others. OMG I didn’t have a submissive bone in my body and the idea of someone putting me out of control was not only scary as hell, but very frustrating and challenging as well.
Now I was never someone to make things easy on myself either. I was here to learn and gain experiences after all. I wanted the best education in this I could get and I have always been the type of person who understood that the different genders approach things differently.
So I opted to be trained by a female and a male.
The male was a “Harem Lord / God” and strict service as well as sensual and aesthetically pleasing Dominant. The name he went by was Lord God Apollo and yes he was a Pagan. His Harem consisted of several women ranging in ages from 25 to 49, and he also trained and controlled several male slaves who were used as Bodyguards and sex toy rewards for his females. He also had 2 Nullo Eunuchs who were not sissy dressed but pretty much were the servant bitches in a domestic sense. Now these days looking back I laugh about a lot of the things because as much as I learned from him, it was very much fantastical and not something you can really pull off in most cases as a male. He was independently wealthy and his fortune was already made, so none of his female slaves needed to work and could concentrate on serving and cultivating many forms of education and grace. Oh and before you ask, no he didn’t support the male slaves. They actually had to go out and work. Their money was taken at a 50/50 split for their rooms and board there. Apollo was a strong believer in men having to pull their weight. Yes, I have up to this day nothing but the highest respect for him. He was very different from what you see “Masters” being like these days. He was an actual BDSM Master and Lord, who saw his slaves as a lot more then a quick fuck.
The female was a Sadist. Her name was Sadist Mistress Demona, and she considered herself to be a “controlled and ethical hardcore Sadist”. I often playfully referred to her as the “Punisher” and boy was her maniacal laughter fear inducing for the lesser souls around her when she let her sadistic nature fully play with those who could take it. I am not above admitting that the first time I saw her with her personal Number 1 who was a hardcore masochist, I almost fainted in fear. It was a sight you really had to get used to first and it took a few weeks before I could really understand that this was something he needed,
Before I was handed over to those two, we agreed to a contract and hard limits were set. One of the more unusual perhaps on that one was that I had demanded as part of my agreement that I was not to be used for any kind of sex services at all and that Apollo and I would always wear gloves when touching each other. That is something that actually drove him insane in the long run with me, but turned out really well when I had to do my “testing” at the end to showcase what I had learned. Oh that is a fun story, but you’ll have to wait for that one.
I was about to enter into a world that I never even imagined existed. It was like being on a different planet in many ways and it not only stretched my mind and physical abilities to endure, but made me look at human beings in a completely different way. I learned that not everything is the way it appears and that some of the apparently easiest things are the hardest to take and give.
I’ll leave it here and when I continue I’ll tell you about my trip down the Hallway and the first 50 wacks of the cane, and with that a first breakthrough of discovering some deeper side of myself.
Goddess Bella Donna
The Internet has a Bot Fetish I think!
Automated Spiders crawling while human beings reading
becomes less frequent!
over the weekend I was thinking about the type of content I want to continue adding on my blog. I noticed myself that I really don’t blog as frequently or as in Fetish detail as I used to.
I check my traffic on this blog a few times a week and when I do I actually check to see if the traffic is of the human kind or the bot – spider – crawler kind. I found something rather interesting as I did so for the last roughly 3 months now.
Out of every 100 clicks and visitation to my blog – between 81 and 90 are bots. So that means that out of 100 clicks only between 10 to 19 visitors are actually human who are interested in reading what I have written. Let that sink in for a second fellow bloggers and especially fellow Content Providers who not only write about whatever comes to mind, but how also market your products via your blogs.
Now for those of you who haven’t been blogging for that long it doesn’t feel that surprising perhaps, but for someone who like myself who has been blogging since roughly 2005 and has had easily a couple hundred of various blogs over the years in all kinds of categories from regular family friendly to adult, this is a huge shift.
It used to be about 30 % bots to 70% human readership. Does that mean people are just getting too lazy to read? Are blogs becoming obsolete? Are we back to the Picture only marketing phase that require little to no thought? Or does our target audience – in my case males – get all of their fixes now online via Social Media for free and no longer need to actually read and think? Has the mind become a last frontier for fetishes in which the written word becomes the main drive to fantasy and is slowly becoming a wasteland?
Regardless of what the answer is on that one, one thing is for sure. It makes my motivation to talk about anything Fetish and Kink related decrease. As a writer I write for things to be read by human beings. That’s just natural.
If I just wanted to write for myself I could just put it in a Journal (the pen and paper kind) and never share a thought with you.
It does make you think, well at least it does me. How much is our world really changing and is it just a lack of interest in doing something that requires some effort, or are we dealing with a much bigger issue? Maybe literacy is the real issue here and the lack in education? Maybe it is that fetish topics which are at the same time educational are simply a turn off, because they require for the reader to look within and at times maybe even adjust their points of view a little.
Or, and that is a big “or”, it is that we have become so sensitive and politically correct now that it quiet literally has killed or is killing Fetishes as we continue on. I am not ruling this one out either.
Of course it could simply be that we human beings are now just getting too frustrated and scared about our future and what is to come. You’d have to be really foolish to not realize just how uncertain things are and have been for a very long time.
I try not to talk about politics online because I have found that politics always serve to upset people on either side and I am probably way too moderate for most. Hell I didn’t vote for either Hillary or Trump in the last elections simply because to me neither were a good option to pick from. I don’t care for extremes when it comes to things that will alter all of our life in the long run. I can see good and bad on both sides, and the idea that if you like something about one side or the other automatically making you anti whatever the opposing side has to say is just ridiculous.
Now of course I discuss politics and social justice as well as social economics in my private life. How can you not? It’s not like you can get away from it and it does effect everyone to some degree sooner or later. We are all interconnected with one another on some level, like it or not.
There you go a little insight on how I think on this broad spectrum and only because I am trying to point out that yes, just like you perhaps, I realize that there is a lot more at stake here then a dick getting hard and getting off.
Here is the thing so and this seems to be something that we overlook. We are not dead yet, we still have desires and needs of the carnal variety, and when it comes to fetishes and kinks, well there are some things that are to be taken into consideration always.
I want to start a new series of blog posts and those will be a bit different in a way, because I have decided to share some experiences from both sides of BDSM from the days when I had my formal training in real time. Literally coming from vanilla – fetish ignorant and being trained and educated from the bottom up.
Don’t get too excited so because I am not going to write them for horny young bucks but through my eyes, which literally goes a lot deeper then just the physical. I don’t switch and I don’t submit – those days are long gone, but I found that what I learned during those days was invaluable. Not just for me personally which it was, but in the sharing might actually show others that some reactions are not as unusual as you may think.
Maybe I am trying to bring a bit of humanity back into a robotic world where we stop feeling and just live on auto-pilot because it’ s just so much easier for many out there.
I do hope that it will be human readers rather then bots finding and taking something away from this.
The Internet may have a robot fetish – as in that is mostly what reads anymore and pays attention – but I still prefer the human interaction which is the only way to connect and remain connected.
Goddess Bella Donna
Is it really worth losing your sanity over?
Good morning boys and girls,
I finally made it up to my destination where I will be spending my time until September of this year. I am surrounded by nature everywhere I look and it is oh so peaceful. Just the way I like it.
Besides doing my bit of a summer job which I have committed to, it gives me time to sit back, reconnect with my inner balance and finally wrap my head around creating more content for you all to enjoy. That’s the good news and something I know I have not been doing a lot of as of late.
As I am sitting here having my first cup of coffee for the day, taking some quick morning calls on Niteflirt, and reading through Social Media Tweets and postings, I can’t help but wonder if the online rat race I am witnessing is really worth your sanity
It reminds me so much in a way of the rat race you run in high power jobs where the balance and sanity is often lost. Pushing things deeper and deeper into a hole you may not find your way out of again without selling your soul or your-self to the company store.
It’s all about competition, of nay-saying other people, of shade being thrown around and oh so many other truly mind-numbing things. I watch as oh so many of the females of the sex-industry claw each others virtual eyes out, attack each other on base of trying to look more powerful or hotter then the next, and honestly it just makes me sad.
I don’t have a dick, so I can’t talk for you males, but I would think that the majority of men get a bit sick of watching the stupid flowing past them as well. Oh sure there are enough guys out there who get off on seeing women clawing at each other and essentially putting on a virtual version of a cat-fight, but all in all is it really worth it to you?
I can’t help but wonder if there aren’t other people like me who literally get turned off by what they see to the point that feeling sexy and having those delicious wicked thoughts is the furthest thing from the mind.
The funny thing is that as always the more our venues of marketing get restricted and our ability to earn an income (bite me – that is exactly what we are trying to do – can we all please just drop the B S for 2 seconds here?) is being bitch slapped around by the powers that be, the meaner and shady it gets out there.
It is literally turning into a rat-race. Operative word here is RAT!
During my travels up to this location and even beforehand while I was getting ready for it, I was hardly able to get any work done. Time was not on my side. So when I finally did have a few minutes to log in and do my own marketing efforts, I was turned off and cold within mere seconds. The question of ….. “Is this really what we have all been reduced down to?” … kept floating around in my head.
Now I am not saying that this Industry has ever been all Kumbajah and sunshine and roses. Far from it. It just seems as if the more outside influences try to keep us from making a living in a professional manner and keeping with some sort of ethics at least, the more the women in the industry are becoming not just mean but downright obnoxious or should I say noxious in their behavior.
I watch Venues encouraging what I call the “Walmart” Syndrome. Mass amounts of super cheap content that you either agree to sell at lower then dirt prices and you’ll have to sell loads off just to make your bill money or just fail to make a living there. Call it forced under pricing and no matter what side of that debate you are on in the end it will not do any of us any good in the long run.
Again the Rat Race that is all about clawing your way to the top, trying to out do each other, without realizing that the next body that might get trampled on the way up could be yours.
Ask any person in any Industry who has made it to the top at any given point just to realize that being there is not all it is cracked up to be and that the cost of a little Ego and money often comes at the cost of your health, family and sanity.
Oh and what goes up, will come down. The Rat race never ends and now it starts a lot earlier on then it used to. I don’t know, but these days it just don’t seem worth it to me to participate in that. I find that just doing what I can and feeling “at ease” with myself is a lot more important to me the being able to claim the title of Queen Bitch out there. Maybe I am just showing my age with that statement, or maybe it’s just my personality. I never did want to become a Legend, I just wanted to live a good life, make enough money to be content and stress free (as much as it is possible), enjoy what I do and be able to look into the mirror at the end of the day.
Fortune and Fame are fickle things. Ever wonder if they are worth the price you have to pay for them on a personal level? I have and I do.
The thing is, you can never totally get away from it. Society won’t allow it. Not if you are online and making a living, but just how far you are willing to get sucked into it and chewed up emotionally as well as physically by it, well that is really up to you.
Don’t let it get to the point where you have to get drunk and / or high every day just to make it through another day. Don’t let it cost you what relationships you might have. I know right now you think – fuck that – money is more important, but there will come a point when you see it differently. You can’t keep putting your special people in your life as last resort thoughts and when I get around to you and expect them to remain.
Don’t let it turn you into someone that you won’t be able to live with being in the end. When it turns you into the type of person you loath yourself and finally realize that you loath them so much because they remind you of the person you have become, it’s a long hard road to come back from if you even can.
Don’t let it turn you into a plastic version of the wonderful human being you are dear ones.
Take it from someone who speaks from experience. It’s lonely in that rat race you are running, it’s riddled with fake friends, false hope, and when you make it to the top, it only satisfies you for a short while. Oh you’ll have money and lots of frenemies for a while, but when the next hot thing takes over (and they always do) and you slowly plateau out somewhere a little less in the spotlight, you’ll get to see what your 5 minutes of fame really cost you. It’s not worth it!
Success without retaining your integrity and humanity is worthless in the end. Make sure you know what it is you really want and then go for it. Don’t trample people on the way up there and stay as far away as you can from the shade that is thrown and the foolish cat-fighting that only serves to give broke guys amusement.
Most of all, be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to evolve into your personal best possible self and that my precious ones isn’t depending on what society tells you it should be. That is fully on yourself.
Have a lovely day all.
You know where to find me if you want to talk to me. I’ll be available at Niteflirt off and on until this evening
Goddess Bella Donna
This entire time in the last week or while I was getting ready for my trip and then while being on the road I had this distinct feeling I was forgetting something.
You know the feeling I am talking about. There is something just out of reach that is niggling at you a bit, but you can’t fully figure it out? I knew there was something, but every single time I checked all the important things they all had been covered.
It wasn’t until today when I finally figured out while reading several freebie seeking and just attention whoring look at me emails what it was. I had forgotten to give a damn about you while going about my life and I suppose I figured that if you wanted my attention badly enough you’d just pick up the phone and call ME when I showed as available.
You see, those who are smart always know how to get my attention, especially when I am traveling and on the road. They know that while I am on the road I have no time at all for “I just want to be your friend” BS from guys who still haven’t figured out that if I want to have a male friend, I can just walk out the door in the real world and make a whole slew of them and that I am not one bit interested in the online version of a booty call.
By the way Ladies…. you are more in touch with the dating scene out there these days… do they still do such a thing as booty calls or is that trend over and so yesterday now too. Personally I never did the booty calls. Sorry but I am not interested in being any males fuck on speed dial and my pussy isn’t a drive-thru fast food joint either. So yeah, not really interested in all of that jazz, which is what the internet version of “can we just be friends” is when approaching a woman in the Adult Industry.
Trust me bunny turds, if I want you as a friend you’ll know it. It’ll happen organically and won’t be a 2 hour discussion with a memorandum and side quests attached to them. We won’t be passing notes either – with 2 little boxes on it that give me the choices if I like you or not. My School Days are long gone and over.
So where was I before I went off on a rant into the blue yonder about the down right stupidity of the intellectually challenged – look I have a dick hahaha wanna see? – online aspiring Darwin Award Candidates.
Ah yes, my forgetting to give a damn about whatever your problem is, was or will be unless you actually get your head screwed on right and try to get my attention the correct way.
By the way, if you were one of those shadow humpers that naturally ignored any and all opportunities to fund or sponsor my trip, don’t bother asking me for photos or acting as if you are one of my best boys, sissies, or gulp – clients – either. You are not, and since you decided to ignore an important opportunity to make Me very happy with you and just acted as if you didn’t even know about it, guess what you get treated now exactly how you deserve.
How is that? Oh I think you’ll figure it out soon enough. Money talks baby cakes and Bullshit walks or gets ignored in this case. No whining allowed either. You made a grown up choice there buttercup, now you get to deal with grow up consequences.
Oh and those lovely direct call and purchase options are gone now too again. Why? Figure it out! I am really getting tired of chewing it all out for you these days.
I’ll share some photos of my current location and where I’ll be over the next few months with those who actually contributed to my travel fund privately. I see no reason to give you something so beautiful to enjoy when you didn’t want to be a part of it when money was involved. Sorry puppets. Too bad so sad. Besides the Country side doesn’t have any tits, ass, cunt or dick hanging around anyways, so I am sure it wouldn’t interest most of you. I do see some nice peaks so….
Want my attention – phone lines are on, tributes can be made to email@example.com if you want an email chat or just want to be noticed, and you can always go and get your quick fix by just buying content.
Goddess Bella Donna
It’s Sunday and that means some across the board updates from the world and life of Goddess Bella Donna.
Consider it my thinking out loud in written format. Something that might be of interest to those among you who actually enjoy getting to now me as a person.
Real time session link in the menu will be removed today since I am going back on the road again for a bit and I am not going to have the time to make myself available for real time while I am in Susanville besides maybe, and that is a big maybe, for very generous and special already serving boys.
Since I haven’t been to Susanville before I need to figure the place out first, get a feel of it etc. I am actually really excited about getting back on the road again. 2 months (I think it has been 2 months already – I lose track of time) in Las Vegas was more than enough for me to be ready to get out of here again. It’s great for a visit, but it’s just not my happy place.
Since I have been here I witnessed a fatal stabbing, several car crashes, domestic violence going lethal, a fire on the top of a Casino Roof top and just the usual bad attitudes of people who are living in a major Metropolitan City. I don’t drink and I don’t gamble, so it holds little appeal for me in the long run.
A lot of the cool little shops I used to frequent when living here are now closed down and gone as well. Over the many years that I used to live here I had come to think of this place as a highly convenient City to live in (Shops, Restaurants, etc all at your fingertips and open late), but as far as human interaction it is a rather soulless place to be.
I did have the pleasure however to reconnect with a good friend here and spend a few hours with him, as well as take a pro-domination session with a wonderful boy with whom I have had several before and had formed a connection with over the years. It was great to see how far he progressed in his personal development since I last seen him and to explore our mutual fetish / kink enjoyment further under my control.
I am not too proud to admit that among the many people I have seen over the years for real time sessions on a professional level he is easily one of my favorites. We always have a great time together and that is what matters.
My travel fund is still $250 short from the “safe zone” of $1000 that I have set to make sure I don’t run into financial stress on the way up there. I am planning on making the trip slowly over several days. The RV still has a couple of repairs that need to get done in time and this is a way of assuring I don’t aggravate it to the point that they become a primary must do like yesterday repair. Gypsy – the nickname I have given my RV – is just like Me. Neither of us are spring chickens anymore and sometimes you just have to give us older gals some extra love and time to get things done in a safe and pleasant to us manner. It’s oh so worth it in my books too, besides it gives me an excuse to enjoy the journey instead of turning it into another rat race.
I was going to leave on May 1st but the road is calling to me strongly already so I am batting the idea of Wednesday April 26th or Thursday April 27th around instead. Depending on if I get all the last minute errands done ahead of time before I turn the key.
In the meantime I have filmed and audio recorded several new pieces of content which I have released for sale at Niteflirt: https://www.niteflirt.com/GoddessBellaDonna#goodies as well as at my various Clips4Sale Studios: https://clips4sale.com/store/16963, https://clips4sale.com/97505, and https://clips4sale.com/47343.
If you haven’t checked lately to see what is new, now is a good time to do so.
I have checked into opening a Studio with Iwantclips but have decided against it because of their “forbidden” content rules. They seem to be on par with Niteflirt who recently restricted their TOS even further and since I enjoy various fetishes that they are not ok with I decided it would just be a waste of time for me to do. Especially since they are still permitted via Clips4Sale and of course once the last few wrinkles are ironed out I can offer them via my direct purchase option.
That is something that actually surprises me. So many of you are always complaining how you prefer direct payment options which are discreet but then when you get them offered to you, you are not willing to use them. Seems like yet another excuse and contradiction to me. Something to really ponder.
Which brings me to something else which has been really strongly on my mind lately. Human nature – yes this is something which never fails to make me ponder and observe just how truly hypocritical and “false” we humans actually are. So often I see something proclaimed loudly by groups of people only to see the complete opposite being enacted. I find it amusing how we are expected to stand behind and be supportive of certain things which have been turned into movements, but if it is just an every day person who doesn’t fall into the movements of the day that person is left by the wayside and ignored. It really does show the true sense of what human kind is like.
Luckily for me, I have the great pleasure to keep myself balanced out by communicating with so many different people from across the various races and backgrounds in real life while on my travels, and I have found that there you find a very different mindset then what you have thrown into your face online.
I often wonder and have discussed this privately with a wonderful fellow Lady from across the pond – the charming yet hardcore Lifestyle / Professional Mistress The demanding Dutchess – if this is simply a sign of just how far we are removed from reality online and the false security we feel when we are nothing but an avatar to other people.
I have had the great pleasure to have gotten to know her now over several private Skype Conversation and have come to know a very witty, charming, highly approachable and extremely spiritual no-nonsense Lady of Power whom I am glad to call my friend and a “sister from another Mister”.
I often have to chuckle when I see her tweets and know just how “offended” and “taken aback by her bluntness” as well as “unrelenting verbal asskicking” she dishes out to you so many of you can be. I know very well that she is someone who scares you lesser beings to no end, and I pity you for your fear of actual dominance and discipline that is based in an old school real time foundation. You are all missing out so much, because you’ll never get to know this Treasure among US LADIES who take firm but caring control over those who serve US properly.
In appearance we are like night and day, but it is refreshing to know just how much we have in common on a personal as well as dominant base. For those of you in the UK I can only say…. If you are interested in serving an extremely skilled and unrelentingly powerful Lady you may want to approach HER, just make sure you bring your best manners and remember that HER TIME is VALUABLE.
As I said however, yes there is a wide and deep difference in what is being fed into us online constantly and what I am fortunate enough to witness in real time as I travel into the smaller Towns and Cities. You’d be surprised just how easy it is to make someones day there and how open they are to finding things that connect us rather then separate us.
For me on a personal base I have had very little hatred brought against me on my travels for being the kinky, fetish loving and strict disciplinarian Domme I am. If anything it has opened up some very curious and delightful questions from what we term vanilla folks. Many of them much older than me even.
I have shared meals with people from so many different walks of life, backgrounds, religious believes, race, gender and more without that ever having been a cause for anger, hatred and separation. If anything it opened up topics of debate, questions and answers over a good meal or a glass of wine / cup of coffee (in my case). A way of learning from one another and seeking to understand one another without the foolish prejudice that is so often found online.
I don’t know if it is just that RVers already share a more open nature since we are nomadic souls, or if it is just because we are more used to reserve judgement for character rather then outward appearances, but we tend to see each other as human beings first and foremost rather then “groups” of people.
I have found that the further you get away from the Metropolitan Cities the more you rediscover the heart of the people who toil away daily in order to make a living and survive. A lot of people who are not RVers are the same way.
Unless someone actually wants to get to know you, they rarely really care about what or who you are. There is a spirit of live and let live as long as you don’t force yourself on them. That seems to be a big problem in today’s society I see (online and in the big cities). We assume that everyone needs to “see us” and not just tolerate but “praise us” for being the person we are. We assume that people actually spend all day long caring about what it is we do, who we are, what we look like, what swings between our legs or doesn’t, and even more so disturbingly perhaps who we want to fuck. Honestly, most people in real life don’t give a hoot about that until you force it on them or they choose to become something more then just ships passing in the night with you.
Most people really just want to go about their day, live a reasonably good life and enjoy the company of other nice people. That is a fact that so many folks seem to miss.
Online we get so “caught up” in “stereotypes” of what is assumed someone is like, that we miss one little fact. Most people aren’t that way. There are pockets and in the big scheme of things handfuls of jerks out there who really need an attitude adjustment in a big way, but the large majority of people that I met at least are pretty decent folks who worry about their own issues and just want to have a good day.
I want to share a clip from Youtube here that many of you online will find “offensive at first” but I want you to consider that this is what you want to turn it into. Let me tell you again, it’s far from the norm.
The point is don’t try to be a stereotype if you don’t want to be treated like one. It’s how we present ourselves is how we will be treated. Sorry but that is what it’s like in the real world.
Oh and when people are bigots, because yes they do exist on all sides sadly – like I said the handfuls and pockets of miserable dipshits, you can always snap your fingers to this snappy little tune and just walk away laughing while leaving them standing there in their own misery. You don’t have to engage them and waste your energy on people who are not worth your time.
You are welcome. If you can’t walk away laughing with this song in your head when you meet one of them, then you need to recover your sense of self and sense of humor. Laugh at ’em, people that are miserable hate it when you are happy and can’t be made miserable by their attitude.
Ok that was enough. I think I’ll leave it here.
You have a choice just like I do. What are you going to do with your life? Get caught up in someone else “thinking” or go out there and live your life with a spirit of exploration and finding the good people who I promise you are out there a lot more then the asshats that seem to get all the attention online and in the media.
Wish me luck on my upcoming travels. Who knows, maybe one of these day you get to meet Me in person and have a meal with me. I wonder just how many of you would have your illusions about me shattered if you listened to haters on social media who never even met me.
Goddess Bella Donna
My perfectly imperfect freestyle filming style
You can’t script life – so why should I script My clips?
I thought it would be fun to talk a little about My particular filming style and why I prefer to do what I call “perfectly imperfect freestyle” filming for my clips. It’s something that I have done pretty much from the beginning and even as my equipment has improved over the years I have filmed now, my outlook on it has not changed.
When I decide to film and get ready – hair, ,makeup, nails, getting dressed etc. – I honestly have no idea yet what I am going to produce that day. All I know is that I am going to produce several clips in various fetishes for my various Studios. That’s it. I don’t script ahead of time and I don’t narrow my creative ideas down either.
Once I am ready I set up my Webcam, do a test clip to check visual and sound, and then allow the muse to move me.
What you see on the clip and the words I say are all happening organically at that very moment. I allow my mind to open itself up to possibilities and then give it free reign. I film what is fun to do and feels good at that moment to Me.
I know, this may be disappointing to a lot of you boys out there, who are so used to being the focal point in what so many of us Ladies film, but you are honestly just the happy lucky recipients if you spend the money of My having fun with a Fetish I like to personally indulge in.
As I film a clip it is always Me to you. Meaning I “speak to the lucky boy or sissy” who spend the money in order to receive the product that I have created.
In my minds eye I picture a submissive pet either standing, sitting or kneeling in front of Me. I have done so many real time sessions in my time that it is extremely easy for me to picture the reactions a sub might have when I tease, deny, scold, give my orders, and discipline. I can literally see physical reactions to it in my mind – body and facial – and I react to it in the clip I am filming as if I am responding to it. That allows me to give that intimate feeling of a real time session happening with you at that moment.
When I film educational clips or “group setting clips” like my Satanic Reverend style Sermons I picture myself giving a sermon or a “lecture” in a public real life group setting. Since I have done talks before in small public settings and given workshops for couples as well, it is again something that I can recall to mind, picture, and react to.
Once my mind has settled on the fetish topics – I rarely only cover one at a time, since in my real time sessions I always combine various fetishes and kinks – I simply do what I would during a real time session as well. I simply allow it to flow and unfold.
You can’t script real life down to the T. It’s impossible. There is always something going to happen that wasn’t planned or unforeseen. You are trying to be stern and suddenly your nose starts itching. Your necklace is crooked and you don’t notice it. You can’t spit a word out right for some reason. There is a background noise right outside your door or the phone rings. You are inhaling and suddenly your sub makes a face and you are laugh-coughing because it goes down wrong. A lot of different things can happen and will.
Most people will edit those out in order to produce and present a perfectly flawless product to their fans. I don’t, I leave those little real life happenings in, because I want YOU to get the real time feel and experience. In real life I couldn’t undo it either. Once it happened it is done. No do overs or take backs.
I think of it as perfectly imperfect freestyle. Real life captured on film. Goddess as she lives and breathes, no censorship or editing required. As long as the picture is clear and the sound is good, I usually just put my copyright in, website links and My name in various spots in the clip, and I am ready to release it.
Since I film “solo girl” style – no sub with Me since I am putting you through your paces – I can focus on just myself being clearly visible and the view point I want you to have.
The most difficult thing to get over at times is to see yourself on film to be honest. I had to learn not to be critical of myself and how I look. The camera will always throw some shadows in your face, add some weight to you, and in my case I have this stubborn lock of hair that is always guaranteed to get out of place and in my way.
Filming raw like this requires a lot of self-confidence and an attitude of – If you don’t like the way I do this, the way I look, the way I sound etc… – exit stage left. It’s the same attitude I have with real time and online slaves, subs etc.
Let’s get really realistic for a second. No matter who you are, you are not going to be everyone’s taste. So to drive yourself nuts over “those guys might not liking you” is ridiculous. If they don’t they go somewhere else and another lucky guy will take their place.
I am 47 years old now, have zero surgical enhancements on my body, weigh 246 – 250 lbs depending on that time of the month, have a swayback that will naturally push my belly out further to the front, and yes I have some laughter lines and wrinkles around my eyes. I am a regular every day woman who loves what she does and enjoys sharing it with those who can afford to pay for MY work and products.
If you want perfection in filming there are thousands of producers out there who will cut and edit a clip down until it is nothing more than a stage production. It’s perfect for those who want the illusion of perfection in their fetish pornography.
Me? Well I bring a dose of “real life” to you and allow you into MY life for that span of time. What you see on film with me is what you’d see during a real time Session when you kneel to Me in person. I am not one bit different on film then I am in real life. I don’t put on a “show” and I don’t perform a “persona”.
I am just Me… – Goddess Bella Donna – which means sometimes I am silly, sometimes I am cruel, sometimes I am mean, sometimes I am sensual, sometimes I switch attitudes in the middle because you “misbehaved” etc. Real personality showing through.
I don’t have a big studio to film in and I no longer have my in-house dungeon space the way I used to. So this gives you more of a feel to as if you actually came to visit me in my RV or maybe I took you on the road with me.
Now not all of my clips are purely fetish and FemDom either. I enjoy spinning erotic wicked tales as well and give a nod to my writers side. There I take you “back” or “into the future” of what your life might look like under my control or the control of wicked forces. You can see me smirk or my eyes light up in laughter as I picture it too.
I like sharing that bit of mental intimacy with you and that is something that if I was to edit or script would be lost. It’s the spontaneous unfolding of my wicked mind.
To me filming has to be fun for Me or it is not worth doing. I share a special part of Me in those clips and as I always say — “You can either appreciate Me for it or go your way!” I am perfectly imperfect in every way and that is what makes ME a true Goddess of duality. Perfectly embracing of herself and accepting of the fact that you are human too and flawed in those delicious ways.
Goddess Bella Donna
The spiritual side of BDSM
Healing, evolving, connecting on a deep level and more!
Oh yes Goddess is on a roll today and apparently the Teacher in Me is strong in Me today. Now before you begin to read this “out loud meditation” on a deep subject matter, I want you to remember that all I am offering up to you here is food for thought and a bit of My Wisdom that was born out of MY personal experiences in BDSM over a couple of decades.
You are as always free to disagree with Me and of course reject it out of hand. You are on your own Path within BDSM and may not be able or willing to share one similar to mine.
For the remainder of this writing I will dispense with the online tradition of Capitalization for Dominant Individual and lower case for the submissive side and will revert back to standard writing. I am pretty sure that the intelligent individual can figure out when something comes from the TOP of covering position and the bottom or to be covered one. NO that is not sexual – we are talking about a form of intercourse but not the fucking type.
One of the many reasons why people unfamiliar with BDSM practices see it as something vilified, immoral, dangerous and abusive is because they are only presented with a lot of the kinky play aspects of it in pornographic literature, films and “trigger for arousal” geared towards often time male thinking online content.
For the unschooled novice or unfamiliar to BDSM bystander a lot of what we do can appear to be very damaging and abusive on both a physical and mental level indeed. Let’s phase it for someone with any type of psychology training a lot of the things we say and do is borderline mental illness behavior on both sides. There are definitely parallels in it if things are done outside of consent and safety which would push them into that realm. Ah but there is where we are entering the arena of the title above.
Human sexuality and desires to experience ourselves within the confines of a safe and consensual environment with another Adult whom we feel a measure of trust towards can be extremely important for our emotional and mental health as well as our personal evolution in becoming our most authentic self.
As the ying and yang towards and for one another in a good match and with much care for the welfare of each other we create a safety zone in which each side is released from the “morality” and “society restraints” of a society that plays by very different rules then we do.
We are not “broken” as so many people assume, but very often we have been scared emotionally in some way by what we have been told by outside influences and overly dogmatic upbringing makes us “bad”, “unworthy”, “sick” and “unlovable”. It closed many people off to reaching out to someone else and allowing them to see us for who we truly are on the inside or perhaps could be in caring circumstances.
A strict but ultimately caring which is build on consent, trust and safety, as well as structure and ritual D/s relationship and/ or “intercourse” removes this necessity to hide what we want, need and are starved for – the D/s intimacy that comes with a good match – and allows us to blossom into the person we are on our most authentic core level.
We begin to remember and learn within this structured and safe environment that there is nothing wrong with us for having a desire to be something other then what society tells us is ok. We are able to explore and discover what we truly want, what makes us happy and yes even find our limitations and own moral compass.
If you remove the kinky actions of the BDSM play and focus purely on the interaction, rituals, respect, intimacy and trust that is the core of every good D/s relationship you’ll discover that a rebirth of self and a deep healing takes place. It becomes without dogma a spiritual experience of learning to love, trust, embrace fully and be the catalyst to evolving for ourselves as well as our D/s opposite and / or partner.
It is an irony for many when they see someone in a strict but caring D/s relationship speak of always putting each others welfare first and providing an absolute form of freedom via enslavement. We are always so focused on fighting for our rights that to hear someone giving their control and “rights” over to another person and to willingly become dependent on them for their good will, guidance and benevolence it is hard to understand.
Living a life in a selfless manner that pleases the one to whom you surrender to is actually a selfish action in and of itself in a twisted sense of human desire. For that type of person it is acting in accordance with their deep seated need to be controlled, guided, be useful to and have a deep purpose when behaving in such a selfless way. Their need is fulfilled by the one who allows them to hand that control over, give up those decisions, and is willing to pick up the reigns over their life and often deeply hidden desires and needs. In the same way someone who feels a deep seated desire to take control, to guide with a strict but caring hand, to discipline and condition, to be the catalyst and inspiration for that other person to become a better and more authentic version of themselves, is acting in accordance to their true nature and is at the same time providing a selfless service to that person by becoming their purpose to be their very best for them.
It looks black and white, but it is actually ying and yang, symbiotic and deeply spiritual in nature.
We talk about destroying, abuse, forcing them in often very callous ways (apparently to the outside) but those are all fractions of the sentences that should be said in full to give the true measure of what is going on within that intimate and private relationship in which side is fully embraced of themselves and each other.
Let me give you a few sentences in full as I see those words above from the side of the one taking control and giving strict but caring purpose, structure and dominance over the one kneeling in full surrender to Me and My will.
Again remember this is purely how I see it and how it feels to Me.
I will destroy within you the false sense of being bad, worthless, unlovable, undesirable and the pain of your upbringing as well as your bad habits that are cause of self-sabotage and which keep you from finding and blossoming into your best and most authentic self in order to build you up into someone of whom I can be proud of, take great joy and pleasure in, and who can find deep seated satisfaction and healthy pride in living up to his or her purpose as was placed within your own nature and which is part of your true authentic self.
See how different that sounds?
In return you will surrender yourself to Me, trust Me to know what’s best for you, give me honesty and obedience. You will make My happiness, My needs and desires your priority. You will bend but not break your spirit beneath Me and give Me what I need to take control over you as My sweet creature which I am pleased with and feel worshiped by. You will place Me upon that Throne and lay before Me all of the gifts (including yourself) that are yours to give. That includes your fears, your worries, your dreams, your desires, your needs, your obedience, your trust, your worldly possessions (to a point) in order to assure your Goddess is comfortable and well provided for, for SHE now takes you into her hand and gives you what you need most of all. Acceptance and guidance of your most deeply hidden self and will help you heal, evolve and become that GEM that right now is oh so rough.
I will abuse you of the notion that without sacrificing your Ego and without your willingness to give yourself to Me in perfect trust and perfect love as is due to me as your Goddess on high, that you are able to find your way into that deepest darkest core of yourself and become that which you need to be in order to be complete and satisfied.
I will force you into opening your eyes and sink deep into the darkly hidden places of your being to face that which you are and learn to not only accept it but embrace it. I will force you to go into those dark shadows that scare you so much by allowing you the bright light of my control and guidance so you can find your way always and can finally come home where you belong. With Me!
The only thing I truly ever force anyone into doing is to seek within themselves who they truly are and admit to themselves that which it is they need. I cannot and will not force a person to take an action that is truly abhorrent to their nature or the bully them into submitting to me. That is something you must lay willingly and eagerly at my feet and oh yes it will scare you and make you feel vulnerable, but that is what you need to be.
Can you see where it goes a lot deeper and is very spiritual in nature? It is truly a path into your very own self and a reemergence of your authentic self without feelings of guilt and shame. You are made whole by this and can find contentment and acceptance within this once you have done the journey into yourself. The Voices that tell you that being different then what people tell you you should be may never truly be silenced, but they will no longer be able to hurt you or harm you. They will simply no longer hold power over you and you can finally find that home with the one that knows and understands you and doesn’t judge you ill for it.
For those of us who are the ones who will take the power into our hands and who will become the foundation and safety upon which our subs and slaves can kneel upon, we have to do our own journey into ourselves and discover if we are truly willing, able and happy to carry the responsibilities and weight of our standing.
You always just see, hear or read about the great and amazing privileges that come with being THE ONE. We sweep the flip side of that under the table because it destroys an illusion for so many. That is one of the reasons why we have so many people out there who throw words like owned around without even knowing what that means.
We see the strong arm act and the constant tough talking bitch act as a representation of what a Mistress (or yes Master is), but the reality of it looks very differently.
Again please remember that I am only offering you my insight on this.
One of the biggest complaints is that new subs are oh so needy and it annoys the one who has taken control to no end. There is a constant strain on your time and energy from them. A constant desire to be close to you. An overwhelming need to be acknowledged, guided, instructed, and reassured. A new sub is very much like a child learning to walk, talk, and how to interact in a proper way with you.
You are going to have an immense amount of patience with them for a while until they get their submissive footing. You are going to have to be able to discern and be comfortable with knowing when to discipline them and when to hold them safely in your arms to let them know they are safe. That will change with time as they progress in their journey beneath you, but for the first year it’s utterly time consuming and extremely taxing on your energy.
Are you able and willing to put them first in that way and to give this large amount of energy and care, or are you too selfish to take your responsibility serious? Does this feel like an overwhelming burden to you or does it feel natural for you to take them by the hand for a while and establish that structure for them that they need to feel safe?
Can you make decisive decisions and carry them out? Can you set rules and when necessary enforce them without feeling guilty or overloaded by them? Can you carry out a consequence to an action even if you know that action was taken with good intentions but goes against your rules? Can you instruct, explain and share yourself with them on a deep level that allows them to actually be able to trust you completely? Can you be reliable?
Those are just a few things you need to learn about yourself.
Can you admit when you were wrong or when you don’t know something? OH yes that is something you need to be able to do, since before you can control anyone else you need to be able to accept that you too are not infallible. You will make mistakes when you deal with this new human being under your control and to do something without knowing what it is you do will place them in harms way.
Are you willing and able to grow with them, to evolve, because dears you both will. With each experience you share you will both grow and evolve together or are you so set in your ways that there is no room for growth inside of you?
Are you able and willing to listen – really listen and to consider what you have been told, not just dismiss it as if it is worthless?
Does taking control, being in charge, guiding and providing strict but caring structure fill a need inside of you as well or are you just in it for the shallow benefits that it brings?
Does making a demand feel comfortable to you when it comes to those whom you have at your feet or does it make you feel apologetic and guilty?
Oh and hardest of them all, are you willing to be vulnerable as well and risk having your heart broken? In order to take control you have to be willing to do both as well.
Spirituality is about Balance as well!
First of all you will need to balance each other out and feed into each others needs. That’s why it symbiotic. Neither side goes without and that happens naturally if you are good match.
Second you need find balance within yourself. You need to be able to set boundaries for yourself and those who are your counter part. You need to find something that keeps your spirit flowing and the energy fresh.
Third you must continue to do your own journey as well. Both sides need undisturbed time in which they can recover from physical and mental strain. To reflect on the new developments that are going to be part of your relationship to one another. To realize and confront what makes you afraid or stops you from reaching that next level so you can sit down with one another and communicate that to each other without fear of it ruining what you are building.
Fourth you need to be able to step outside of your “roll” without stopping to be who you are so you can be the total of what makes you you. You are not “just” Dom/me or sub/slave you are also a regular human being with interests, priorities, responsibilities and more that are based in the regular every day world outside of the BDSM haven you are creating. Those will not magically disappear and now you need to be balanced enough to assure that you can be that as well without feeling guilty about making them important as well.
Fifth look to your own spirituality and higher divine power. Seek within you that which makes you a better human being and soak it up. I can not be your Goddess if I have no connection to my own higher power that replenishes me. I didn’t say anything about religion here, that is something totally different. We all have divinity inside of us, that is our best possible self and our purest thoughts.
Sixth remember that in the end it is still about about love. A D/s relationship at it’s best it one of the purest most untainted forms of love out there. If all things sexual are strip away from it it still endures and continues to grow because it is intimate and mutually embracing, giving, and accepting of each others strength and weaknesses.
Learning to separate the body and mind!
Our bodies are deceptive little things really. When your devotion as a submissive or your dominance as a Dom/me is purely hinged on sexual urges, visual eye candy, physical attractions, and satisfaction of the body it is doomed to failure in the long run because all those things change and are shallow connections indeed.
In order for things to last you need to seek to get to know each other on a deeply mental level, connect on an emotional level, and bond on a spiritual level as well. The ying and yang that is you forms a whole. Without beginning and end, infinite symbiotic satisfaction and feeling of being in the right place, complete acceptance and feeding of each others needs without guilt or shame. Being as one each from their place perfectly fitting to one another.
That does not happen overnight and takes a lot of effort and patience, willingness to push through the hard spots, and honest communication with one another away from sex, play and just spend in spiritual and devoted to each others betterment communion with one another.
Well dears that was a different look into BDSM I am sure for most of you and I now it challenges the mindset of many, but then what is growth without being challenged to become a better version of yourself daily.
Goddess Bella Donna
Why do we have traditions and
unspoken courtesy rules?
BDSM talk by a 25 + Years experienced Goddess
Good morning everyone, come on in and take a seat. Slaves and subs on the floor, Ladies and Lords on the Couches, the rest of you that are undecided go stand somewhere until you can figure out what you are today.
For the last few years now we keep reading the “This is not your Mother’s BDSM” phrase over and over again. We see old school BDSM Traditions not only being laughed out of hand, but literally ridiculed and belittled.
We witness a complete disregard for protocols, common sense practices, unspoken courtesy rules and a disdain for Traditions that gave a core structure to what we’d end up developing our own individual styles and paths within the glorious Arena of BDSM in.
Ladies bemoan the insincerity and flakiness of the male submissive / slave and the submissive / slaves bemoan their inability of finding women who actually really exude not only power but who are comfortable with it as well as retain a certain amount of humanity.
Ladies complain that the guys are cheap and unreliable losers and the guys complain that the women are now just pure business transaction inclined.
We have the great controversy about catering to the guys from the side to the Ladies, and the entitled I should get it all for free and my way in order to be motivated to “tribute” and “serve” from the guys.
You are right Dearies, this is NOT your Mother’s BDSM any longer and welcome to the NEW AGE BDSM you have created in your ultimate wisdom of knowing everything so much better then literally GENERATIONS of women of Power before you. This is the result of breaking completely away from Traditions and scoffing at those “Unspoken courtesy rules” because sadly online by no means carries the same consequences for your actions then real time would.
You find those Traditions and unspoken courtesy rules restrictive and out of date. You mistake them for something that stops you from developing your own Style and setting your own RULES for your Queendoms, but in reality they never have been that.
No Dearies, instead they were just a solid core foundation that kept all sides safe and on which you can build your HOUSE of Dominance. They are a GIFT handed down from Generation to Generation of dedicated to BDSM individuals who realized that unless you have some type of structure and agreed upon common courtesy rules BDSM will decline into a free for all and chaos.
Now the majority of you who may read this probably don’t have any type of real time experience at all or have only played outside of the actual BDSM Communities. That seems to be a big thing now online with the newer Generations as well. Online truly is all about the fantasy of Domination and submission, but oh so many do not want to be bothered with the reality of it.
BDSM Gatherings where real time participants from all sides interact with one another is very much all about courtesy and respect for one another and your actions will have consequences when you keep insisting of letting your own big fat head to get in the way. Your “entitlement” will only be tolerated for so long before someone else with an equally big EGO but probably a lot more experience will not so politely show you the door or tell you to go back to school first before darkening that particular door step again.
Online you are protected by an AVATAR – your anonymity – and it gives you a false sense of security and bravery, it gives you a false sense of being excused from acting out badly, and a false sense of EGO as well. If you ever want to see what the nature of humanity is when it feels safe from repercussion just sit back and watch Twitter and Facebook Timelines run past you. There you will see the nature of each individual in a condensed version. It’s really eye opening just how foolish people can get when they think that nobody can reach them and that there will never be any consequences for their Actions. However they all forget that the INTERNET has a very long long memory. It’s called caches. Not the people so much, but everything you do and say online gets stored away for a very long time and real life agencies, future employers, anyone who wants to do a background check on you that includes future possible life partners and your own offspring if you ever have any, can access this cache and bring back things you have thought long forgotten and gone.
One of the Traditions in BDSM was to keep a strong sense of privacy and protecting those who are part of the BDSM Arena from being exposed to individuals who would not be able to understand your needs and desires to act or be treated a certain way which goes very often in direct opposite of what most Vanilla Traditional behavior is seen as.
People in BDSM (all sides) come from all different walks of life and some of them have jobs, careers, businesses and affiliations that would be ruined – YES RUINED – if their activity would be discovered. Now online there is a big following and fantasy fetish that is about ruination and home wrecking, but the reality of this really happening would be devastating and not only to the sub / slave / fetishist who gets his wish, but to his FAMILY, his Co-workers, his JOB which gets drug into the mud now too and many other people who did NOT CONSENT to this.
Now I can just see the women who are participants of this fetish and take it as far as to actually carry it out to the bitter end laugh and go “So what the hell do I care? It’s his own freaking fault. The Loser got exactly what he wanted and I got paid so fuck you GBD!”
OK fair enough – I fully belief in making each person accountable for their own actions, but that includes you. For one as a Mistress / Goddess etc you are under the obligation to keep your slaves safe from HARM and that often includes from their own stupidity and ignorance. You are the first to point out all the time that a male is unable to think once his dick is engaged. So now the responsibility falls heavily on your powerful shoulders. Of course that is one of those traditional ways of thinking and unspoken rules you make so much fun of in your “wisdom” and need to “reinvent the wheel again”.
So let’s make it personal to you. If a males wife actually does find out about this and you pushed your home wrecking schemes a bit too far and took it out of pure fantasy land, the chances are that she’ll divorce him. During a divorce all manner of things will be drug into the court room and this will NOT be a friendly divorce since she will be furious not just with him BUT WITH YOU!!! Oh I know you don’t care YET, but when your name starts getting drug around in the Court System as Evidence A and that goes on record trust me you will care later on down the line. Let’s just say She has more class then you do and doesn’t set out to ruin your life in return. There is always the Cache and Karma being a bitch. I wonder how your future Partner or his / her Family will feel if they ever decide to do a little background check on you and see all those lovely little things you did there. You are a person who can not be trusted with a Relationship or anything else for that matter. Those are real consequences to foolish actions. Same goes for Career choices etc. Think before doing. How far should you really carry it???
Oh and you boys who want so desperately to be ruined… the fantasy of having to live homeless might be a turn on until you actually do. There is nothing sexy or glamorous about that and by the way once you are destroyed do you really think she will still care about you? She never did to begin with fools, SHE TOLD YOU SO from the start.
I am not talking about acting out a fetish fantasy on a clip, in an Audio, in a piece of writing or during a “Session”, but the public one on one displays that are directed at a person in full public view. It becomes very hard for people to distinguish what is just a fantasy fetish roleplay and what is real here. The wrong person sees it and you just made it real without meaning to perhaps. Again, there is a reason of why we protect our slaves, subs, and pets privacy.
Let’s go to what we refer to as “toe stepping” and “slutting around behind Mistress back” without permission.
The principal behind this is actually really simple. If it doesn’t belong to you but to someone else and you have not been invited to use it by the one who it belongs to then you keep your hands off. That pertains to both human beings aka subs / slaves as well as toys / tools. Now online we have this “thought reasoning” that if the Mistress can’t control her bitch boy then he is fair game, in real time however such an action would have severe consequences.
Getting “marked” as non-trust-worthy and pretty much be shunned is the minimum of the consequences and that might not mean much to you now until you actually want to be able to meet new people, be allowed at Play Parties, Dungeons etc. Oh but wait there is more. Get on the wrong person and you may just get your ass beat, find pain inflicted on your person or all kinds of lovely little memorable actions that come with being a thief, because Dearies that is exactly what you are. It doesn’t just disrespect the other Lady and the slave, but shows that you have NO self-respect.
Now there are things where you cannot control if someone owned or collared spends money on you. For example if he buys content from you via one of the many venues out there, or if he hides the fact that he belongs to someone else. Basically at that point you are just as much a victim of his deception as She is, but when you literally approach a slave who is clearly labeled as belonging to someone else and engage them in conversation with the intent of either poaching him or USING HIM without his Mistress Permission, then that’s 100% on you.
Oh and boys you don’t get away without getting smacked here either. A slave who can be poached and who sluts around behind his Ladies back without Her permission to engage in “intimate” conversation with the intend to provide service or tribute to another, is NOT worth having. It breaks trust and is unbecoming of the supposed D/s relationship bond you should be having with Her. If being a slut is in your nature then don’t ask to be owned or collared by a Lady or at base minimum be honest and seek HER CONTROL about to what extend you are allowed to indulge in slut behaviors. It’s called catting with Permission and many Ladies have RULES that will benefit HER and you in the end.
KNOW YOUR PLACE and act accordingly!
Once upon a time, haha yeah sounds like a Fairy Tale I know, submissive seekers were required to show proper courtesy and respect when interacting with Dom/mes and Tops. They didn’t run rough shot over them, back talk to them, call them out of their name, or address them in overly familiar ways. That went in private as well as in public settings. The Mistress / Goddess etc WAS NOT an afterthought in a conversation, service or action.
There is a reason why in real time during the slave training period a lot of Ladies actually instituted a rule of having to ask permission to speak first. Slaves / subs interrupting a Mistress when speaking or conversing with another Mistress / Master unless it was important (aka an Emergency) or had been told to inform HER if something had taken place (like the seat in the Restaurant they had been waiting for now was available) held severe disciplinary actions once they were in private again or if during a Dungeon party on the spot.
Have an old school Lady like myself and you’d have to clear permission to interact with another Dom/me first. You didn’t just go run off and chatter away like a magpie. That usually meant that if I granted permission I knew that other Lady or Lord and held HER / HIM in esteem. In HIGH PROTOCOL setting they would actually approach ME first and ask Me agreement to speak to MY slave or request a service from them such as fetching them a drink or finding them a seat. They didn’t sent their slave to do that either, they approached Me themselves and I would do the same for them. It showed mutual respect and assured that there would not be any misunderstandings later on down the line.
Just DEMANDING attention or service from a sub / slave who belongs to another is paramount to grabbing their collar and leash in real time. I have bend more then one wrist back in the real world for that action. Their Collar and Leash are not just symbols of their belonging to whomever holds the key to that lock and the end of the leash, but is their “SAFETY ZONE”. It means I have granted them MY PROTECTION from unwarranted and often unwanted touching, demands, or anything else that would almost literally force them to step out of sub zone and behavior.
Just because someone identifies as sub / slave does not mean they are yours. It’s theirs to offer and give freely, not yours to force and demand. The Collar and Leash represents that their choice has been made and the Lady or Lord has accepted it and has given her agreement to take up all of her rights and responsibilities over that submissive person from here on out until such time that there is a “request to be granted release / freedom”, dismissal or dissolution of the collar, or literally death do you apart.
Yes that too is an actual Tradition and unspoken rule. Starting to see where they are not there to rain on your parade, but are there to keep all sides safe and assure that you can concentrate on building that Queendom, that D/s relationship etc?
Oh and subs / slaves if you were to show your “dicks” or “just grab a Lady” or just think you can hope on someone’s lap without permission granted to do so, you’d find yourself very unpleasantly surprised. Most would not find this cute and cheeky in real time and if you come on a hard core and old school protocol and disciplinarian and Goddess you would be in a world of pain. The last male “slave” who just grabbed Me (and that was my shoulder) without permission found himself on the floor with My foot on his throat. The last male “slave” in real time who thought it appropriate to show Me his dick without it being demanded by me had a whip across it and a cane literally broken on his ass. As I said, KNOW your PLACE.
Oh and for you dear Doms, NO MY dominance is not up for discussion. I am your peer not some chick to be turned just because you have a dick. Trust Me I can always tell a Dom / Master who is worth his salt and is an actual BDSM Lord worth the mutual respect and some dick obsessed idiot who couldn’t dominate his way out of a brown paper bag.
A Dom worthy of mutual respect TREATS a Lady of Power with the respect She deserves and is a Gentleman to HER, not some obnoxious little tool. I have been fortunate indeed to have met many Doms / Masters whom I have had mutual respect with and watching them with their slaves has always been a delight as well sharing a discussion or time with them as equals.
Being a Brat, a cock obsessed hoodlum, an uncouth loudmouth with absolutely ZERO understanding or respect for little important things like S.S.C. , R.A.C.K, and respectful interaction with others in the BDSM realm as well as a measure of self-control, does NOT make you a Mistress / Goddess etc or Master / God. It makes you an imbecile at best who needs to get educated first. You can become someone, but right now you are unworthy of the title you slapped on yourself after watching some porno or watching some “Reality Shows”.
It would take Me way too long to keep going into many of the fine little traditions that made BDSM the wonderful world we get to play and participate in. That has allowed us all a measure of safety and freedom to explore our own desires and needs in a harmless way that doesn’t inflict damage on anyone.
A final thought for you to consider Dearies!
Nobody can tell you how to run your own show, that is a given, but remember that neither are we required to tolerate your behavior when it breaks every single bit of common courtesy and goes directly against Safe – Sane – Consensual.
Don’t bitch about subs / slaves or just males in general are nothing but a bunch of morons and entitled little shits when it is your disregard for anything even resembling tradition and core courtesies allowed for that to even become possible.
Guys, don’t you dare complain either that the majority of us Ladies of Power now are looking out for OUR benefits first and CHARGE YOU upfront for our attention. You did this to yourself when you bought into the idea that being submissive and providing service is all about sex and your dick induced thinking.
You wanted this new style of BDSM – you got it – now live with the fallout of it.
For Me and many other Ladies that still follow some of the traditions and courtesy rules, there will still be slaves who understand that actually SERVING and being CONTROLLED – DOMINATED – DISCIPLINED – GIVEN STRUCTURE – ETC… is what BDSM is all about and that you don’t get that unless you are willing to actually surrender, submit and obey.
Those slaves are treasures, the ying to our yang, highly intelligent and worthy of a place at our feet. They are the furthest thing from idiots, morons and losers. We leave those for you to ensnare…
Have a nice day Dearies!
Goddess Bella Donna
Pay Pig excuses for beginners!
A little Financial Fetish Humor with a side dish of education!
These “reasons” why someone can’t tribute are as old as My grandma’s buckskin bra and boys are still using them daily on new and not so new unsuspecting girls who haven’t developed an aversion to carrots yet.
What is really amusing is that after literally YEARS of financial domination or financial fetish has made it’s round now online and has literally turned into a fad, these silly little grasshoppers still haven’t come up with much of anything new.
I am personally wondering if this is a “hand-me-down ” syndrome from one generation of piggy trolls to the next generation not unlike what you see in Bars and Clubs when it comes to those super cheesy pick up lines that only work on the most desperate and inexperienced of women.
I don’t have a debit / credit card!
First of all this is almost impossible in this time and age where the majority of transactions and verification now require some form of plastic payment method in your name, but even if you are still living under a rock or have ruined your credit so much already that your Bank locks the door when they see you coming, there are is always such a thing as a Pre-Paid Credit Card you can purchase and load up with funds available in most Gas Stations and Retails Stores. That aside darlings, a boy without plastic payment methods online is utterly worthless. So use that excuse and you just bought yourself a one way ticket to iggy land.
I forgot my Wallet in the Car / Work / etc!
Oh my really? You were foolish enough to leave your Wallet with your ID in it and other really important information in a place that other people can easily get to? I think you best get your arse moving and retrieve it. *End of conversation* and *automatic block* for using one of the most annoying lies which just screamed loudly… I am an Idiot who thinks you are a total moron. NEVER insult a woman’s intelligence this way.
My wife / GF / Mother / Sister etc is coming!
Isn’t it funny how these dear ladies always show up right when it is time to put your money where your mouth is? Of course if they were really suddenly appearing you have a lot more to worry about when you are caught once again with your dick out jerking while talking to a strange women. As often as this seems to happen to some of you poor darlings may I suggest you start putting financial fetish on the back burner and start a savings fund for your impending DIVORCE. They do get rather costly.
I want to get to know you better first!
Now I am all for boys doing research and getting to know the Lady with whom they wish to have an actual D/s relationship with but let’s be honest that isn’t you. Someone who is actually into getting to know the Lady whom he approaches never needs to be told to send a courtesy or “sincerity” tribute to show that he is not just there to waste your time. They do it automatically because they respect her and want to see where this is going. So for the rest of you “wanting to get to know you better first” peacocks try this one… Go and read her blog posts, tweets, call her on a phone line and feel free to stay on for hours at the cost of xyz per minute while enjoying the delightful experience of getting to know her.
I am in between pay days, if you give me some time now …
Stop right there! This is an instant ignore UNTIL you have been paid and come back with tribute money. Giving you any kind of credit might happen once you have literally and loyally served Me for several years and I know I can trust you, but then in that case I would also know when your pay day is and I would have put you on a budget. So this wouldn’t be happening to begin with.
I would love to tribute you but I have other obligations right now that I have to take care of first!
Now this one I am not going to make too much fun off because if it’s actually true then I give you a small measure of respect, but until you got your obligations taken care of and have free to use aka play money you can tribute you have no business taking up MY time either. Go forth and pay your bills!
I am Student and just can’t afford to tribute you but soon I’ll have a great job and then I can spoil you…
First of all you need to be concentrating on your studies to begin with. Second when you first get a job in the field that you are currently studying and that is IF you get a good job in the field you are studying you will NOT have any money to spoil me for a long time yet. Why? It’s called Student Loans and getting your life set up. Maybe moving costs and many other little things that come with being a young adult who is just starting out. This might work on the 18 to 23 crowd of girls because they don’t know any better either, but a woman in her late 30’s on up who already had life experience and education of her own will laugh you right out of the court.
If you really would love what you are doing you wouldn’t require for me to pay you!
Wait I have to stop laughing first… What part of financial domination or financial fetish did you not get? If either of those is something the woman loves to do, then dipshit HER TAKING YOUR MONEY is the fetish and HER CONTROLLING YOUR FINANCES AS WELL AS TAKING WHAT SHE DESIRES AS PART OF THAT CONTROL is the DOMINATION! FINANCIAL = MONEY, MATERIAL POSSESSION, VALUABLE GOODS! Rolls eyes.
I am too cheap to spend a lot!
Thanks for the heads up … next. Listen we all understand budgets but Financial Domination / Fetish is a LUXURY FETISH and that means at least reasonably higher amounts. Now if you just want to actually tribute in the good old fashioned sense of the word, meaning giving without even as much as an acknowledgement then the amount doesn’t matter – go ahead and send your $5.00 and up. But that is not what you guys want is it? You want attention for it so try for the lower bankers at least $50 on up and for the general at least $100 on up, and for the High ROLLERS at least $1000 on up. What class do you belong in and want to claim? Cheapskates who are proud of being cheap are nothing but an annoyance in the long run and don’t belong in this fetish.
But I tributed to you last month!
That’s nice dear… pet pet pet on the head. What does that have to do with today? I took a shit last week too, that doesn’t mean I don’t have to poop today!
I have spent xyz on my previous Mistress talk!
YAWN!!!! What does that have to do with Me again? Look, first of all there is always a reason why she is your previous Mistress and second of all I didn’t benefit from it. So go and tell your best friend about it and jerk off with him to your fantasy of how that impresses anyone but yourself. If anything this type of bragging just gets you blocked for being a bore.
If you do xyz I will tribute you but you have to motivate me first. Show me your …!
Welcome to the Adult Industry Business Women Counsel. Your request to purchase a Show has been noted. I will pass your Order on to the next available Cam Girl, Escort, Fetish Producer or other available Entertainer who enjoys fulfilling your Order. Please be advised that you have just been filed as Trick, Client, or Weasel Dick who has zero idea of what submission, slavery and servitude is. Further more be advised that the going rate for your Demand starts at $250 and goes up from there depending on Entertainer and Model. It can go as high as $10,000 for basic depending on popularity and self-worth. Have a nice day. A SUB, SLAVE OR PAYPIG DOES NOT MAKE DEMANDS! HE EARNS HIS REWARDS BY OBEYING AND SERVING!
I could keep going but…
I think you got the point. Dear boys and girls, there is nothing new under the sun when it comes to guys making excuses as to why they can’t tribute or won’t tribute. There is an entire Fetish offspring that is build around this and it is called “Timewasting”. Yes, these days it has actually been turned into fetishism by guys who can’t or won’t actually afford to participate in the actual financial fetish or domination.
Now keep in mind that one persons trash is another persons treasure in the long run, but when you see someone tagging every single skirt with this type of BS the chances are that you have just encountered the proud Brotherhood of time consuming Weasel Dicks.
Don’t give them more time than you are willing to invest in them and always remember this girls – ONLY YOU CAN WASTE YOUR TIME – THERE IS A REASON WHY WE HAVE MUTE, BLOCK , IGNORE AND MOVE ON.
Goddess Bella Donna
Let the traveling commence!
Tribute / Sponsorship for your Nomadic Goddess
The clouds are breaking and the skies are blue. My time in Las Vegas is coming to an end on May 1st and I am going back on the Road again. Next stop for Me will be Susanville Ca where I will be staying from May until September. I found a great Summer Job for myself there which will make a big difference for Me in the long run.
Great news for Me and even better news for you boys, sissies and cash pets since it gives you the delightful opportunity to do something useful for Me and make yourself known.
The Travel Cost in My RV to get there and take it slow, Gas fillups, stays along the way, food etc… You know all the various costs associate with my traveling plans is $1000.
The money MUST BE IN MY HANDS by April 30th since I am turning the key to get on the road on May 1st.
I want to make a competition and game out of it which is why I call it a Tribute / Sponsorship rather then just a pure tribute.
Who can be MY best Contributor ?
My top Contributor will get a special “Thank you” Clip from Me – Exclusive or may choose to be “spotlighted” by Me here for one month on my Blog.
Runner up gets an exclusive Audio from me.
Minimum Tribute to start for either of those is $100.
Options to tribute are:
Giftrocket to firstname.lastname@example.org made out to anywhere with “Safe Travels Ma’am” as a note.
For International and USA Tributes billed discreetly click here!
Can’t afford $100 but want to do your part anyways then it becomes a pure tribute and no you don’t get into the running for best Contributor. For pure tribute minimum is $25.00 and you can use any of the options above as well.
Now let’s see who can be my best boy, sissy, contributor, cash pet, puppet or just FAN etc.
Goddess Bella Donna
Update April 15th!
$350 of the $1000 in total have been covered. Thank you for your Sponsorship / Tribute! That keeps $650 remaining.
I have spend $129 today on preparations to get on the Road safely on May 1st. This was for a full Oil-Change. YES traveling and maintaining an RV for safety is costly. This $129 was included in My $1000 Travel cost calculations.
I DO NOT make public who has Tributed or Sponsored Me unless it is directly requested by the Individual for their privacy.
I have had a couple of questions about if I can and would accept PayPal as a tribute / sponsorship option. I do have a totally Vanilla and utterly unlinked to anything Adult in nature PayPal account. Sorry I will NOT make it public since this is on an Adult Blog here. If you are someone I know and feel I can trust with this sensitive information (I get book royalties and other vanilla payments for non-adult services I render through this so will not risk someone being shady) you can email Me at email@example.com and ask about it.
Update April 17th:
Now that was HOT HOT HOT – $400 more have been covered as pure travel tribute via a loyal and totally addicted Sissy Panty Jerk Off Bitch during a public wallet draining. Looks like the lucky slut gets a reward.
This leaves only $250 more to be covered. Who will take care of that for Me?
The dark and vengeful Queen
A tale of caution for all of you foolish boys and gurls!
There is so much whimpering and whining from males these days about women who have become dark, jaded, vengeful, cruel, mean, self-absorbed, bossy and who put them-selves first. You call them bitches, cunts, and other words meant to show your dislike and disgust for those women when they don’t play into your fantasy of what they should be like and do for you. When you get rejected and are made to not only man up but pay for the privilege of OUR attention, you want to resort to calling names and once again showing US that you are nothing more then little boys playing dress up in trousers far too big for your character.
The thing however is that it was males and many fellow females that created that Monster, that Villainess, that dark and vengeful Queen, who now looks upon the majority of foolish human beings with disdain, distrust and an attitude of – YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME UNTIL YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELF WORTHY OF MY ATTENTION AND BENEVOLENCE.
Was she that way? In most cases she wasn’t. In the majority she was probably born a real sweet girl, with flower dreams and candy spun hopes. She probably dreamed at some point of finding that special someone whom she could spend the rest of her life together. That Prince among men who’d treat Her like his Princess or Queen. A dependable, hard working man who’d know how to make HER feel cherished and who would be loyal / devoted to Her until the end of day.
Guess what! She grew up and very soon SHE learned that what She dreamed about now were a weakness and that men are no Princes or even Gentlemen these days. She learned, often the hard way, that if you wanted to get something done you had to do it yourself. That there wasn’t going to be anyone to come rescue Her when She really needed and that most of the time the opposite would be true. That loyalty and devotion no longer were common place with men and that they’d leave Her for a “different” model when things became tough.
So She toughened up and learned the ways of mankind. She became all of those things that She had hoped to find in a Partner and now it made you obsolete to Her.
Sexual satisfaction? Haha, oh She got that and She no longer needed you for it either. Oh there are so many fun toys on the Shelves to pick from and guess what you don’t have to worry about them being happy too, or of course there is always some guy willing to have a quick fuck just to take that edge off. She learned really fast that HER PUSSY was a lot more powerful then that dick that you are so proud of. She also learned by making you WORK FOR IT and rationing out what you thought was your due SHE now held the Power over you.
“Bitches be replaceable!” once said by hoodlum males with cocky attitudes now was reverberated back at you males. “Why yes they are and guess what boys – now you are HER bitches!” Does the Shoe fit Cinderella?
She learned to stop nagging and if you couldn’t do it by the 2nd asking She FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WOULD, once again making you utterly obsolete. Only of course oh you were so foolish as to see it as a blessing. Oh good less for you to do, that is until HE REPLACED YOU IN ALL THINGS not just the ones you didn’t want to get done.
SHE learned to shield HER HEART and began to take care of herself. Now empty flattery, promises and other words without actions no longer could melt HER sweet HEART.
She learned to become the MIRROR of your actions and stood before you reflecting all your bad behavior back at you while laughing at the discomfort it brought you.
SHE NOW WAS and IS FIRST and oh sweet vengeance became HER middle name. While you sunk deeper into the quagmire of your existence SHE ROSE to the TOP, demanded WHAT IS HER RIGHT and without apology TOOK IT!
Now that SWEET SMILE ON HER FACE has a tinge of WICKEDNESS to it because SHE IS PLAYING FOR KEEPS, but it isn’t you that she necessarily means to keep.
HER MEMORY BECAME LONGER and SHE NO LONGER FORGAVE EASILY! There is no more wrathful woman in the world than the forgotten Queen.
The feminine gift of love unconditional turned into TOLERANCE CONDITIONALLY ON WHAT WOULD BENEFIT HER FIRST and FOREMOST.
She learned that if she would have to walk the EARTH alone in HER DIVINITY, SHE MAY AS WELL USE THE BODIES AND WALLETS OF FAITHLESS MALES AS HER STEPPING STONES.
Look into the Mirror that is HER EXISTENCE oh FOOL IN HER COURT and realize that it was you and others like you who turned the sweet girl – the little Princess into the DARK and VENGEFUL QUEEN.
Pleasant dreams peasants …..
Goddess Bella Donna
I love those old school disciplines!
Hardcore discipline of days gone by!
Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one left on this planet who truly enjoys utilizing those good old school disciplinarian tools. A lot of the hardcore and often very humiliating disciplines I dish out to those who understand the concept of needing to accept their proper correction with a grateful heart are rooted in some of those very old school disciplines you may have found in the now old days.
Here are some of mine, how I enjoy adjusting them and what I love about them so much. Remember that discipline is essential to assure you will always try to be my good boy or gurl.
Are you old enough to remember having to go outside to pick a switch from a Tree so you could get your thrashing after having been a bad boy just a few times too many? If you attempted to pick one that wouldn’t hurt so much, not only were you send back outside to get a different one but the whacks you’d receive weren’t just a lot harder but more in count as well.
These days my adaptation of that is to lay out several different tools used for corporal punishment and then make you pick one. There will be a combination of light, medium and heavy pain inflicting tools on that table and some will look deceptively easy to take if you never felt them against your body.
There is a certain amount of mental cruelty to the act of making you choose since let’s face it, by nature you are going to want to choose the easiest one on you. As a slave you may assume that picking the most pain inducing one would get you off the hook a little and make me take it easier on you. To think that and acting on it would be one hell of a gamble, since if I am in a particularly merciless mood I may take it to mind that you are trying to manipulate me. Not something I will allow. Stick in the middle and play it safe…. Not a good idea either necessarily …
Basically this forcing you to pick is already part of the discipline itself since it makes you agonize about which might be the “best” choice to make. How well do you know your Goddess and her moods??? That is the question you should ask yourself at that point.
Now of course I like what comes next as well. There is an almost Victorian Age feel to the “switching a naughty bottom”. There is a whole psychological mind-fuck that goes on before we even get to the physical part.
Even so I may not make you literally go out and gather your switch from the Tree, and you probably shouldn’t count on that either, there is the whole torment of awaiting my decision.
Will I deem your choice acceptable and commence with the physical discipline or will I reject it, scold you and make you go and get another while explaining to you exactly in how much deeper of a trouble you now find yourself in? Ah the precious moments of utter mental cruelty that will always keep you on your toes.
What about being made to go to the woodwork shop and make your very own punishment paddle and goodness help you if you didn’t do it right?
In a way that is a variation of the first only now not only do you have to choose wisely, but you actually have to put in the work to create the very tool that will bruise your ass so nicely.
Each step of the process becomes a whimper inducing foreshadowing of what is to come. It’s not a matter of if that wooden paddle will be used on your soft skinned vulnerable ass, but when, how often and how hard.
You want to pay close attention to what you are doing as well. Oh certainly you wouldn’t want to let your lack of focus be the cause that a splinter is suddenly stuck in your arse. You won’t find any mercy from me if it does. Sanding it down to perfection is after all your duty and let’s face it to your eventual benefit.
Now I personally fancy the idea of having your stamp or burn your name into it and supplying it with a hole and cord to hang in a prominent place in the household.
What joy it is to watch you walk past it each time when you even think about giving into the temptation to disobey and disappoint me. It’ll only take a few times of me commanding for you to get your punishment paddle before you have learned the disciplinary lesson of that day. Ah the whimpers, cries and assurances of how you’ll be so much better behaved for me from here on out are music to my ears. Just make sure you are sincere, but we both know where your Paddle hangs.
In either of those cases above there is also the moment when you have to strip down in front of me in order to receive the discipline you so deeply deserve. Peeling off what little protection your clothing allows you before being utterly vulnerable before me.
Knowing that without the barrier of even a flimsy pair of panties or underwear each strike with the tool of discipline will be so much more intense and so much more intimate.
Hesitate too long or attempt to argue your way out of the necessary discipline and I may just decide to make you wet your panties and underwear before administering the reminder of who is in charge here over its wetness. Now not only will you feel the pain of the tool intensely but the sting of humiliation as well.
I do not need to raise my voice my dear nor call you out of your name to make you see the strict love of God reflected in my hand and face. There is a reason I am your Goddess, I am rather skilled at creating good boys and gurls.
Let’s move away from the oh so painful old school punishments and go into the arena of the more mentally forceful options. Putting you into the position of the fool, the dunce, the imbecile without ever naming you such verbally. An experience many won’t forget.
Do you have one come to mind?
What about being put into a corner or other place where people could see you with a dunce hat on your head or any variation of humiliating outfit or signs?
Ah yes, the dunce, a person to be laughed at, pitied by the more tender hearted, pointed at and used for a tale of caution.
Not only is it humiliating that singling out from your peers for your misdeed or foolish misguided speaking out of turn, but it is something that once witnesses you will probably not be able to live down for a time to come. The dunce is iconic in many tales of humiliating tales of discipline. The disgraced fool in the Market Place or in Class Rooms where you had time to contemplate your wayward ways while being put on display as a showpiece of what not to do.
Petticoat Punishments date way back and sadly now days have been put by the wayside. The force feminization of a male via the dressing him in over the top girlish clothing with lots of ruffles, flounces and of course the iconic for women of that time petticoats and corsets laced tight. Silken hose, girlish knickers, shoes that scream girl and more.
Of course that was back in the day when it was a deeply humiliating and embarrassing experience for a boy to be made to dress that way and paraded out to the snickers and laughter of those around him. Back then boys still had a different level of pride and this sissification of his appearance was something that he wanted to avoid as much as possible. “Looking so much like a pretty girl.” Was not a cause for strutting around showing off unless forced to do so back in those days, but something that made you hang your head in shame and work really hard at being worthy of being dressed as the boy you were born as.
Of course a lot of Matrons advices their female offspring to continue on this humiliating and debasing measure of correction with their new young husbands or submissive minded husbands when he didn’t show the proper respect or hard working attitudes required to support his household in the manner SHE deserved. He was a lot less likely to strut around, be a drunkard in the Pups, or attempt to cheat on her or humiliate her with his roaming eyes and hands, when dressed like a female. It was emasculation as a form of discipline and correction long before it became the attention whoring fetish of sissification we see today.
More the pity actually because it was such a lovely way of getting a male to see things in a more female type of way.
Soaping someone’s mouth out was a wonderful and very memorable way of teaching them how to speak politely and mind your verbal manners. It became another rather iconic picture of a woman placing a bar of Ivory Soap or equivalent in the mouth of a verbally disrespectful boy or girl and make them hold it in their mouth for a duration of time while contemplating what got them there or enduring a rather strict and harsh lecture / scolding on the proper social graces when speaking to your betters.
A variation which is a bit more painful and yet just as humiliating is the clothe peg placed firmly on the outstretched tongue for a duration of time which makes it impossible from keeping yourself from drooling helplessly after a time. Not to mention the discomfort you’ll experience both at the application and removal of it.
These days when we think of time out it is not much of a disciplinary action or punishment any longer since all it does is give the person time to think of more mischief. That used to not be that way since time out often came with being put into rather physically straining positions with required your fullest focus so you wouldn’t drop the items or lose your balance. Something that would have been cause for a much harsher and more painful punishment. Go ahead try and hold out a fully loaded Tea Tray in front of your body for about 20 minutes and see just how difficult that is. In many cases dressed fully as a servant girl again bringing another now Fetish into existence.
Line writing and knuckle rapping was something you saw frequently in Schools and Households. You may scoff at the simplicity of this at first until you have to sit on your desk or stand by the blackboard writing a single sentence 100’s of time in beautiful penmanship and without a single error. Fail to do so and your knuckles were rapped with a wooden ruler. The same went for having ink on your fingers since it showed that you didn’t value the money spend on your writing equipment back then.
Scrubbing the Bathrooms and especially the Toilets when someone had a naughty mouth was not unheard of either. Now then off course you still used a lot of elbow grease to get the job done and once finished the white glove inspection by the LADY of the house was not something you wanted to fail.
Lucky enough to have servants in the house? Not so lucky when a young man forgot his place and hassled the female help. These women were paid by the Lady of the House to do work not be playthings for the young “Master”. If he wouldn’t mind his manners and remembered his place in a household in which the women traditionally ruled that Domain it was not uncommon to have the Housekeeper and Cook put him over a chair or make him bend over to grab his ankles while using a cane or other strap to educate him about proper behavior towards those hard working women.. Always with the Lady of the House present and overseeing the correction aka HER full approval.
Oh yes, I sure enjoy those old time disciplinary actions and I find it a bit sad really that so many have gone by the wayside now. It was a wonderful tool to build character and remind a male of his place and that respect towards women is not optional but a given.
A strong female hand often made a difference in how the grown man would behave later on down the line. Those were disciplinary actions you would never forget and learned to wish to avoid.
Goddess Bella Donna